Come Back to Me
by DyreDire
Summary: Kurt time travels 5 years into his future self. The only issue is the Kurt from the future also travels back five years which he uses as a vacation away from the stresses of adulthood. Then he realizes the faults in this when suddenly events don't occur as they should. Will Kurt be able to fix his mistakes before losing his future? Smut coming after chapter 8
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello readers, **_

_**I'm taking this story idea from DemonTegs97 who I think stopped posting because I can't find them or their story anymore, and I had been really enjoying their story.**_

_**I'm also going to use it to give Kurt a little understanding of how much he needs Blaine rather than wanting to be separated for season 5. **_

**Waking Up**

**2014**

He was sure this was the best night sleep he'd had in a long time. His body was not tense or sore, as it had become from many nervously sleepless nights. The bed was warmer and more comfortable than he thought it had been ever, and ultimately he felt safer.

That is, until he opened his eyes and realized he wasn't in his bedroom.

Kurt snapped up instantly, letting the large blanket fall to his waist. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which was unlike him, and only wore a pair of wrinkled boxers he'd never seen before.

"What the hell." He breathed trying desperately to remember where he was and how he'd gotten there.

_Did I get drunk last night?_ He wondered, but shook his head. No, he never drank. And if he did, who would he drink with? Puck? _No, thank you_.

When he moved in the bed, he found that he was a little sore between the legs, and felt a sting of panic he hadn't even considered to worry about; _who's bed is this and what did we do?_

He glanced quickly around the room and saw nothing to recapture any memories. The walls were covered in curtains... no... the walls _were_ curtains and the furniture was uninspired. It was a bit of a mess which he didn't enjoy, but it wasn't his room so he wouldn't judge. There were socks scattered across the floor, as well as pieces of clothing draped or dropped carelessly. Kurt almost wanted to judge the owner of the bedroom until he noticed a small, opened condom wrapper on the floor next to the bed.

His heart dropped to his stomach and he thought he might stop breathing as lead filled his stomach. _No, no, no, no, no, how could this happen? This didn't happen! I've never even kissed anyone-girls don't count. _How did he get there? He tried desperately to remember what he had done last night but

Kurt rose to his feet desperate for answers just as the curtain pulled away and a beautifully dark haired boy wearing only PJ pants walked in holding a tray of food. Kurts mouth dropped open for a fraction of a second before he regained his self control and pulled up a corner of the blanket to cover the front of his exposed body.

"Oh no," The boy whined a little but he wore a very bright smile on his face. He did appear a little confused, though, noticing Kurt covering his chest with the blanket as if for privacy but he never lost his smile. "I wanted to surprise you before you got up. What are you doing?"

"I'm... uh... I'm... I'm getting back into bed." Kurt answered as he awkwardly slid back onto the bed and under the covers.

"Oh good, so I can give you breakfast in bed then." The boy smiled wider than Kurt thought should be possible but found the smile oddly compelling. _Maybe that's how you got yourself into this situation_. "I want the love of my life to know how much I care about him."

_Oh no, he's crazy._ Kurt thought. _One night and he thinks we're in love... I mean, I guess that's better than the alternative... Or maybe not since I can't remember anything... What if he drugged me? Oh God, is this some kind of misery situation? Where are the exits? That would explain the curtains..._

"You're really pretty." Kurt breathed mostly as a side note to himself as if it would help make the situation any less terrifying.

"Thank you, Kurt." The boy's pleasant smile turned a little bashful before he leaned forward and kissed Kurt lightly, taking Kurts breath away for the moment. Not because it was anything epic but from shock. Seeing the look on Kurts panicked face made the smile leave the boys face. "What's wrong? Is it the eggs? I'm worried I put too much salt on them again, too, but maybe you should try them and if you hate them, I'll just make you more."

"It's not the eggs." Kurt replied without missing a beat.

The boy looked a little disheartened by this, and Kurt almost couldn't bare to see it. _I don't even know his name. How does he know mine?_

"What is it then?" The boy wondered, deeply concerned about the answer.

"How... What did we do last night?" Kurt wondered, still unable to remember almost anything.

"Oh." A sly, sexy smirk spread across the boys pretty face. "Do you want to do that again?"

He leaned forward and kissed Kurt once more, now more slowly and suggestive but Kurt pushed him back one handed with surprising ease.

"_Nope_." Kurt almost felt bad for the face that crossed the boys face but he would never feel bad for protecting himself from an uncomfortable position. He might be unable to remember the night before but that didn't mean it had to continue. Kurt looked over at the rack of clothing behind the boys head and noticed the clothing was very much in Kurts style, even if it could use a little flare. He looked back at the boy and asked, "Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I seem to have nothing."

The boy laughed a little, but his amusement was overshadowed by the resonating sting of Kurts rejection. "How could you have nothing?" He rolled his eyes. "But of course you can."

"Thank you." Kurt stood still holding the blanket over him. "Do you mind?"

The boy raised a curious eyebrow at him, clearly not understanding the request. But the boy stood, finally, and walked towards the rack of clothing and pulled out an outfit that he offered to Kurt. Kurt watched for a moment in confusion but accepted the clothes. They weren't the most stylish choices but he mostly wanted to get away and tell Mercedes and Tina what had happened. He also wanted Mercedes to remind him how this had happened since his last memory was getting dinner with her at Bread Sticks.

"You're in a hurry to get dressed." The boy noted a little somberly and with a note of suspicion in his voice.

"I don't want to be late for class."

"We still have like... three hours!"

"Class starts in fifteen minutes."

"Maybe at McKinnley." The boy mused, confusing Kurt instantly.

Kurt changed quickly, though, trying to ignore the boy watching him skeptically. When he was dressed he walked towards the nightstand where he found a phone he assumed was his. His stomach dropped for a moment when he saw the background image was himself and the boy who'd started sitting on the bed slowly picking at the food, carefully tasting the eggs as if he still thought they were the reason for Kurts refusal.

Kurt continued to look through his phone. He saw messages to people he didn't know, and momentarily wondered if maybe this was really the crazy boys phone. Somehow the boy had matched Kurts password... But as he went through his contact list he saw names he knew... Rachael, Santana, Tina, Artie. Then the name _Blaine Anderson_ with a photo of Kurt and the boy sitting on his bed.

"Blaine." Kurt breathed to himself.

"Yeah?" The boy answered immediately.

"Oh. Nothing... Blaine," Kurt smiled nervously. "I was just... wondering if you wanted to get breakfast."

"You don't like my cooking anymore?"

"No, no, of course I do, i just..." Kurt was distracted once more by something on the phone that just didn't seem right.

The date. It wasn't the right day... or month... or year.

* * *

**2009**

Kurt woke up feeling like his body had slept in the position of a pretzel. His neck was sore, his back was twisted, and his limbs felt numb.

"God damn it, Blaine." He groaned, almost jokingly before opening his eyes. He rolled over to drape his hand over his fiance he was sure was to blame for this, but felt the other side of the bed was empty.

This wasn't completely unusual. Blaine liked to make breakfast. A part of Kurt wanted to convince Blaine to stop, and to maybe make him breakfast in bed one of these days, but another, more dominant part, thought it would be best just to leave Blaine to the cooking since he was really good at it and it meant Kurt didn't have to wake up too early.

Maybe waking up earlier would give him a moment of peace, though. He hadn't had many moments alone since Blaine had come to New York. Kurt loved him more than anything but... he was starting to feel like he needed some space.

Kurt opened his eyes very suddenly when he realised that he couldn't smell Blaines cooking, or hear him quietly singing. When he opened his eyes, he realised he wasn't in his New York loft anymore either. He was somehow back home in his room from highschool.

_What the hell?_ Had he completely forgotten returning home? How? He very clearly remembered being in New York last night. He had been with Blaine. He remembered exactly what he and Blaine had been doing before falling asleep wrapped in each others arms.

"Kurt, you're going to be late for school!" He heard his dad call from upstairs.

"What?" Kurt asked before jumping up and racing upstairs into the kitchen wearing only his pajamas.

"Kurt, you're not ready." His father noted the moment Kurt walked into the room. "You're going to be late."

"I got that." Kurt replied hastily. "What am I going to be late for?"

"School, you idiot, lets go. Get dressed. I'm driving you today, your car needs new tires."

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt wondered rubbing his head roughly.

"Who's Blaine?" Burt wondered.

"Blaine." Kurt said a little clearer, assuming he'd slurred his words. But no recognition filled his eyes. "My fiance?"

"Well jeez, kid, I thought you said you were gay." Burt moaned. "Now you're engaged? You're fifteen, too young to be engaged. If this is about being gay, I told you I'm okay with it. And I know there aren't any other... out kids at your school but don't give up home and settle for someone you don't love."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt wondered shaking his head.

"What are you talking about?" Burt demanded.

"I'll go... get ready." Kurt decided slowly backing down the stairs. He stopped when he was half way and he realized he was in his childhood home rather than the one they'd bought with Carol and Finn. "Dad, where's Carol?"

"Who?" Burt asked, his voice sounding a little shaken, probably from the uncomfortable conversation.

"Alright." Kurt turned and went to his old room without another question.

He raced to get ready for school assuming this was all some part of a vivid dream. Grabbing his phone felt weird. It was an older model and didn't have his customary photo of himself and Blaine. Plus, although it felt a little relaxing to have a few minutes of freedom, he didn't have any texts from Blaine explaining where he was. Kurt really wanted to believe this was all some dream, but not dream was this real, nor did dreams allow you to move so freely when you were feeling a little panicked. Also, something must have gone wrong with the phone's software because the date on the screen claimed that it was 5 years earlier.

* * *

**2014**

"What's wrong, Kurt?" Blaine asked as they walked from the coffee shop towards NYADA. "You've been acting strange all morning. Heck, you were acting like you've never been on the subway before."

"uh-huh." Kurt replied looking around the big city in awe. Realizing he'd woken up in New York was its own sort of terrifying surprise. When Blaine was in the shower, Kurt had called his dad to tell him where he was and who he'd woken up with but Burt seemed excruciatingly uninterested as if his son's disappearance wasn't much of a surprise to him. Though he was happy for the phone call. "Nothing is wrong."

Kurt liked New York so far. It had been a dream of his to come here, but it somehow seemed less important that how he'd gotten there.

"And the date is..." Kurt started.

Blaine rolled his eyes but smiled as pleasantly as ever. "September 28th, 2014, for the _seventh_ time."

"I-I'm just checking." Kurt mused. Every clock and newspaper and magazine seemed to share this date so it was hard for him to dispute but that didn't make it anymore comfortable. And he'd grown a few inches and bulked out much more than he had been last night. _Did I get amnesia? Did someone hit me outside the head? Was it Blaine?_

No, he decided then, looking curiously at Blaine who smiled at him lovingly and took his hand. The motion felt like a shock to him and he looked around immediately to make sure the action angered no one. No one passing them on the street seemed to notice.

"Are you sure you're alright, Kurt?" Blaine wondered, stopping them so that he could look into Kurts eyes without Kurt getting distracted by anything else. "Because you can talk to me. You know that, right?"

"Uh-huh." Kurt nodded. He really wanted to be scared of Blaine and to run straight to the airport and fly home to Ohio but nothing about Blaine was threatening to him. In fact, Blaine had been so deeply devoted to making sure Kurt was happy all morning that Kurt could only assume this had to be some sort of dream.

_I'm in a coma._ He realized suddenly. _That's it. Someone, probably Karofsky, put me into a coma. Oh, no, my poor dad._

"Blaine, do you remember how we met?" Kurt asked suddenly.

"Of course!" Blaine smiled fondly at the memory. "You came to Dalton to spy on the Warblers."

"Oh." Kurt blinked. He hadn't been expecting a proper answer. Especially not so soon. Were dreams supposed to be chaotic? No one remembered anything? Maybe coma's were different.

"Were you hoping for another answer?" Blaine seemed almost flirtatious as he said this.

"No..." Kurt shook his head. "I think I just slept wrong."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Blaine was about to say more but Kurt cut him off before he could.

"I'm alright, though."

"Okay." Blaine seemed to surrender. "But if you need anything, just ask."

"I will." Kurt smiled while trying to act normal.

"We are meeting Sam and Rachael for lunch today." Blaine continued as he pulled Kurt by the hand so they would begin walking again.

Kurt was about to ask who but the horrific realization came before he needed to. "Rachael Barry?!"

"Yeah, of course, who else?" Blaine laughed. _Oh, God, why?_

"Hey, Blaine?" Kurt asked as he stopped walking once more and pulled Blaine with him.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we skip class today?" Kurt wondered.

"Skip? Why?"

"I want to spend the day with you." Kurt decided.

Blaine looked amused by this and that shot an electric panic through Kurt. "Almost all of our classes are together."

"Yes, but I wanted to maybe spend the day with only you." Kurt tried feeling bashful and insecure. But how much more secure should he need to feel with a boy he'd woken up next to, and not for the first time apparently. "I feel like maybe we could get to know each other a little better."

"Because we don't know each other already?" Blaine laughed but seeing the look that crossed Kurts face, he quickly stopped and said, "Of course I want to spend the day with you. I'm just a little worried that NYADA might be upset."

"We can pretend we don't know each other." Kurt suggested hopefully, "Besides, they can't get mad at us for being sick."

"Together?"

"I made you sick or you made me sick."

Blaine sighed then smiled excitedly and said, "Alright. What did you have in mind?"

* * *

**2009**

Calling Rachael had been a terrible idea. Apparently she had fallen back into her whinny ways while on Broadway. The entire phone call was _Me, Me, Me_ and no answering Kurts main question which was "Where is Blaine?" Instead of answer, she pretended she didn't know who Blaine was and continued to discuss herself as if her audition for a school play was the only thing that mattered. _What school play?_

Santana was much the same. The moment she heard his voice on the phone, she said she didn't have time for faeries and hung up.

As he walked in the doors of McKinnley, hoping it would give him a sense of ease to walk through the school he'd once called home, he dialed Blaines numbed in his phone. The contact had disappeared but that was definitely not the strangest revelation of the day.

"Hello?" I girl answered the phone.

"Oh." Kurt blinked for a second but then asked, "Is Blaine there?"

"Sorry, wrong number." Was all she said before hanging up.

"That's annoying." Kurt mumbled and stared at the number trying to figure out where he had gone wrong typing in the number. It seemed correct in his phone. He felt a small wave of panic knowing Blaine would likely be freaking out not hearing from Kurt after he somehow teleported back to Ohio.

On that note, why hadn't Blaine called him yet? And why would his father act like he didn't know who Blaine was?

Kurt lost his train of thought when a large, heavy force knocked him over and he was shoved into a locker. His first thought was that it was an accident until he saw a group of hockey guys looking over their shoulder at him while laughing.

"What the hell?" Kurt got up to confront them but was blocked by a tall boy... Kurt gasped and thought he might not be able to breathe again. "_Finn_?!"

"Hey, are you alright?" Kurt couldn't believe his eyes. No, this couldn't be real. But real or not, Kurt couldn't stop himself from lurching forwards and wrapping his arms around his somehow resurrected brother. No, this had to be a dream. But Finn felt so real and smelt so real... Kurt suddenly found he didn't care about reality anymore.

"Alright, calm down." Finn mused a little awkwardly, pushing Kurt off him. "Wait... why are you crying?" Kurt hadn't realized that he was. "Did they hurt you?"

"No, Finn, it's not them, I'm fine, it's just..." Kurt hugged Finn once more which clearly made Finn uncomfortable but Kurt found it almost difficult to care. "I've missed you."

"We had dinner last night." Finn said pushing Kurt back again.

"We did?"

"Yes." Finn smiled a little awkwardly. "You, me, Quinn and Mercedes."

"Oh."

"Come on." Finn suggested, "We're going to be late for class."

Kurt didn't question why he was back sitting in his old high school class room. He didn't listen in class, though the teachers didn't seem surprised by this. He simply stared at Finn all day.

In the hallway, someone threw something at the back of his head and yelled, "Hudson isn't interested, drag queen," but Kurt ignored him expertly because, at least in Kurts perspective, the bully didn't really exist.

In glee, Kurt leaned towards Finn and asked, "Are our parents dating?" The question could have seemed odd, but Finn turned with a smile and said, "Yeah, I think so."

"Cool." Kurt smiled calmly and sat back in his seat. It wasn't until the end of the glee class that he took a full notice of everyone else in the room.

Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Mike and Tina holding hands, Finn, Mercedes, Artie, Sam, Puck, and Rachael who was in the middle of fighting with Shuester about who was getting a solo. Blaine wasn't in the room. Neither were any of the new glee kids, or Sugarmata or Rory.

Kurt didn't fully return to reality until he heard Shuester listing off their competition and heard the word "Warblers." Then Kurt felt a wave of unease pass over him- -stronger than any type of deja-vous, as the classroom responded exactly as he once remembered it had.

He almost felt sick, numb, as he relistened to the class argue about beating whether it was fair to compete in sectionals against old people. Then he heard once more as Shue decided to have the boys and girls split for a competition between the sexes. Without having to think, Kurt sided with the girls only for Shuester to once more tell him to be on the boy's side.

Kurt couldn't speak because he didn't trust what he would say. He didn't think words would come out.

_Where in the hell is Blaine?_

* * *

**_Thank you for reading. _**

**_This story is rated M because there will be smut scenes later, but they do not happen for a while. If you want them sooner just comment or PM me and I can make that work into the story (nothing extra about the story has to change, it can be any characters and I can make it a dream or something :) Just let me know what you want!)_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**OMG, while editing this chapter, my computer glitched and deleted the full thing. I tried to rewrite it **_**exactly**_** how it was but that had been difficult (****especially**** since my computer is still glitching). I apparently hadn't saved the document in a while... Please let me know if anything in this chapter sounds weird or inorganic because the entire thing was written from memory.**_

_**I hope you enjoy!**_

**Clarity**

**2014**

"I'm really happy you convinced me to skip class today. It really was a spectacular day." Blaine mused from the kitchen where he was making snacks for their movie. "I was kind of getting worried that maybe you thought I was smothering you"

"I can't imagine ever feeling smothered by you." Kurt replied calmly as he started looking through his new phone looking for anything that might help him remember anything. but he didn't feel like he was forgetting anything. He felt like his knowledge was correct, but somehow his placement was wrong. Nothing about the phone, or even the apps or technology felt accessible to him.

"I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you." Blaine continued. "I am the luckiest man on the planet."

"Blaine?" Kurt asked as he sat on the couch going through photos on his phone. He struggled to understand how Rachael had become tolerable enough to move to New York with, though stranger things had happened, he supposed. Like waking up one morning five years in the future in a different city with a beautiful stranger for a boyfriend who proudly wanted to walk through the city with him and show him off as if he wasn't ashamed or scared.

"Yes?" Blaine asked as he placed down a tray of movie snacks and took a seat next to Kurt. He supposed it shouldn't have surprised him, though it did, when Blaine immediately leaned his body into Kurt and rested his head on Kurts shoulder as he turned on a movie. Blaine then reached forward for a bowl of popcorn which he hugged to his chest as he started to eat it.

"I want to tell you something... but I don't really know how."

"You can tell me anything." Blaine mused, still focusing on the screen. Kurt wasn't sure if this was a sign of Blaines comfort, their casualness, or if Blaine was trying to make him feel more comfortable by letting him speak without feeling watched, but he thought he might have appreciated it.

"It will sound crazy... and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

He felt Blaine tense against his chest and finally sit up, deciding this was a conversation they might actually need to make eye contact for. _Yes, this would have been easier if I didn't have to see his face when he decided I was crazy._

"I don't... remember you."

"What?" Blaine laughed, first humorously as if it were a joke, but then with more seriousness. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... I don't remember coming to New York. I don't remember going to NYADA. I don't remember graduating, or Carol and my dad getting married. I don't... remember meeting you."

Blaine didn't speak for a minute, and for the first time all day he didn't look like he could smile at any moment.

Kurt was worried for a moment, because even without really knowing Blaine, he wanted to and feared losing the relationship they'd apparently built.

"I don't get it." Blaine finally answered.

"It is what I sounds like!" Kurt tried. "I woke up this morning with no idea how I got here and I've been failing to figure it out ever since."

"Is this for an acting class?" Blaine wondered.

"No! I don't remember you." Kurt repeated in a slightly louder voice. "I don't remember this apartment, I don't feel comfortable being here, I want to go home, I want to see my dad again, I'm afraid of how I got here and I am scared of you!"

"Excellent!" Blaine praised. "I can really hear your fear. But might I suggest working on your dialogue a bit?"

"I have trusted you up to this point Blaine, but if you don't start explaining how I got here and why I remember nothing, I am going to call the police!" Kurt snapped.

He felt a sudden panic fill him once more as he waited for Blaine's reply. He really liked Blaine. He didn't doubt that he would willingly date him. How couldn't he? But the reality still remained that he was a stranger. He'd tried to get help from people he did know who might remember but they'd been of no real assistance. And he didn't want to hurt Blaines feelings, but he wasn't ready to be living on his own. He wasn't ready to have a boyfriend in New York who he woke up with every morning.

_I'm 15. I should be at home and in high school. I should be dealing with bullies, not bills. Not without my dads help, anyways. I don't know where to buy food in this city. I don't know to do my taxes? _Do_ I do taxes?_

Finally, Blaine spoke but his voice carried more force than Kurt had heard from him, "That's really not funny, Kurt."

"I'm not joking!"

"What is that even supposed to mean? _You don't remember me_. We just spent the entire day together, did you forget that?"

"No, that I remember. I don't remember last night."

"So this is about something that happened last night." Blaine realized.

"No!" Kurt tried, "Or maybe... I'm being serious! I don't remember anything and it's really scaring me!"

"You know my name."

"I... looked it up in my phone."

Blaine rolled his eyes and stood up irritated. He paused the TV and started pacing around the room.

"Did you hit your head?" He demanded after a second.

"Not that I can tell."

"Have you been taking drugs?"

"I wouldn't think so." Kurt answered with uncertainty. "I would hope not."

"You spent the entire day with me." Blaine snapped. "It has been one of the best days we've had in a while. You're telling me that entire time you didn't know who I was?!"

"I know it sounds crazy, that's why I didn't want to tell you!" Kurt stated. "But imagine how this has felt for me! Today has been... one of the best days of my life. I can't imagine I could be any happier, but I woke up in a strangers bed with no memory of how I got there, it was chilling."

"It's your bed, actually." Blaine groaned mindlessly.

"What?"

"I mean, it's our bed, but it was your bed first."

The idea of this confused Kurt but he shook his head. His situation was confusing him.

"I called my dad, he certainly wasn't worried about me waking up in bed with you, though he didn't want to know the details. Then I called Mercedes who was too busy to pick up, and Finn must have changed his number because his line was disconnected."

"What did you just say?" Blaine asked suddenly.

"I called everyone I could think of to explain what had happened-"

"No, about Finn."

"Finn's phone number has been disconnected."

Blaine gave him an odd stare which made Kurt a little uncomfortable. He was evaluating Kurt before finally asking, "What is the last thing you remember?"

"I don't know...! Going to Bread Sticks last night." Kurt answered.

"What do you think the date is?" Blaine wondered.

"November 2009" Kurt answered easily.

"Is that why you've asked me the date about sixty times today?"

"_Yes_!"

Blaine hesitated and asked, "Did you really try to call Finn today?"

"Yes, three times." Kurt groaned. "I even asked Rachael for his new number but she just got mad at me."

"Kurt... alright. I'll believe you. But how did you forget everything?"

"How should I know?! You would be the person to ask, wouldn't you? If you're my... boyfriend."

"Fiance." Blaine corrected immediately.

"Is that legal?" Kurt answered before even thinking.

A wide smile appeared once more on Blaines face and Kurt thought it was one of the most breathtakingly beautiful things he'd ever seen. "Yes."

"No way." Kurt breathed.

Blaines ear to ear smile seemed to widen and he shook his head once in amusement. "I love you, Kurt."

Kurt sucked in a breath and gaped at Blaine who understood Kurts surprise after a few moments of consideration.

"Sorry." He shrugged, believing Kurt just a little more. Not that he had much doubt that something was wrong. Kurt wouldn't include Finn in some kind of joke. And he wouldn't pretend not to know he was gone. "I guess it's kind of strange to hear... Last night... I mean, you did hit your head a couple of times, we both did, but I don't think it would be hard enough that you'd lose your memory."

"How did we hit our heads?" Kurt asked and was answered with a suggestive nod from Kurt. "Oh... _oh_..."

"We do it a lot, Kurt." Blaine answered with a sly grin.

"I think I need to sit down." Kurt sat back deeper onto the couch, lying back a bit as if just sitting was too stressful.

"It's alright, though." Blaine promised, sounding a little amused, Kurt thought, as he moved towards him and lowered to his knees and his hands on Kurts legs, meaning for the touch to be supportive rather than seductive. "Because I love you and you love me, even if you don't remember. There's nothing dirty or wrong about it."

"I can't breathe." Kurt said. "I-I-I-I... I don't even know where to start."

"I was your first?" Blaine offered. The idea neither calmed Kurt nor made him feel less comfortable.

"When did we meet?" Kurt wondered. "How long have we...?"

A proud smile crossed Blaines face. "Four years. We met in 2009, we were friends first... You were my first love and I was yours."

Hearing more didn't make Kurt feel anymore comfortable. He didn't feel like he was forgetting anything. He didn't feel like he had anything to remember. He felt displaced. Like somehow he shouldn't be there.

"Were you my first kiss?" Kurt wondered because he didn't want to trouble Blaine with the internal panic he was feeling. Was he expected to sleep in the same bed as Blaine? A part of him knew he should want to- -not because he had any memory of knowing Blaine or wanting him, but because he was so beautiful and smart, talented, and kind. Anyone should be honored to share the privilege, but Kurt just didn't feel ready. He didn't feel like he was old enough to be in his body. It fit him weird. It was too tall and too uncomfortable, other than the greater amounts of sleep this version of him seemed to enjoy.

"I can be." Blaine decided. This regained Kurts attention.

"You _can_ be?" Kurt inquired, "What does _that_ even mean?"

"It means I can tell you, but I can never _un_-tell you."

Kurt swallowed something that felt hard in the back of his throat. Blaine tried to make a joke out of the topic, but Kurt could see the calculation deeper in his eyes. He didn't think it was something he should tell Kurt if he didn't know it already, but he also didn't want to lie.

Blaine spoke again before Kurt needed to, "I think we should go to the hospital."

"What are they going to do?" Kurt demanded.

"More than we will."

* * *

**2009**

Kurt had accepted his situation with a surprising amount of ease. It was rather easy if he just accepted his situation. _Either I am in a coma, or I am in 2009... not much I can do about either._

Kurt had learned long ago how to be confidence enough to ignore bullies, and to have the courage to confront the one's he couldn't ignore, so he really didn't see a downside of enjoying a few more days of peace and quiet in his fathers house. It was nice not being expected to constantly entertain people. School was only a few hours a day and carried less of the stress than university by far. Except for the bullies but Kurt remembered every word and every touch so he knew he would survive that like it was just another memory.

He didn't have to worry about Santana and Rachael arguing about petty things in the apartment- -they only shot quick remarks to each other in class, or Sam barging in on his and Blaines personal space, or managing a band, or having Blaine constantly asking him what they were going to do next or what he wanted to eat or when he wanted to go to bed, or what their plans were for the day...

He was happy to have a few quiet, stress-free moments.

He figured he would wake up soon enough from his coma, or however he had gone back to 2009, the world would somehow correct it. He wondered for a short while if he was going to be stuck in some kind of loop when he constantly came back, grew up a bit, and five years later came back again. If that became a problem, he would just tell his dad or Blaine.

For now, there was no need to have anyone think that he was crazy.

"Kurt, I'm home!" Burt called from the kitchen.

"Kay, dad." Kurt replied but didn't move from his bed.

About ten minutes later Burt came down to see how he was because Kurt hadn't gone upstairs. Kurt thought it was nice to see is dad again, though 2009 Burt seemed a little less happy. _It's alright. Just another year until he marries Carol. _He wasn't miserable, he just didn't know what he was missing yet.

"Dad," Kurt asked suddenly just before Burt was going upstairs. "Do you believe in time travel?"

"No," Burt answered but then stopped and stood halfway up the stairs. "I don't know what scientists do all day. If they come up with a time machine, it would be cool for movies and all, but we'd really find a way to mess things up."

"Hm"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm reading a book." Kurt answered calmly.

"Is that what has you all mellow?"

"Mellow." Kurt breathed the word to himself.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He wondered.

"Yeah, dad." Kurt answered. Burt accepted this, though he was still a little skeptical, and went back upstairs saying, "Dinner will be ready in an hour."

Kurt rolled to his side and felt a sudden desire to see Blaine beside him. He brushed that off quickly, though, reminding himself that this was his alone time and he would see Blaine soon enough.

He decided to close his eyes and relax.

The morning was welcomed except being woken up before 7am by his alarm clock to get to school.

_Some vacation this is_, Kurt grumbled to himself mentally. He looked in the mirror and jumped back. He'd almost forgotten what he used to look like. And his current situation. Waking up in it made it feel more real- -since he could still remember the night before.

He pulled on his face a little, turning himself in different directions as he examined himself to the best of his ability. He wasn't sure how much he liked being in his old body. Not that it had anything to do with his appearance. He felt shorter, small, more cramped. He'd gotten used to his body after puberty had finished and he was back to the beginning again.

"I'm not looking forward to this again." He mumbled.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey, so I kinda reworked this chapter a little because I think the concept of the story has changed as I have been writing it... I think it is now less that two versions of Kurt switched places and more Kurt went back in time and screwed his shit up.**_

_**Also, I apologise because my timeline of events might not line up.**_

_**Enjoy :)**_

**Disturbance**

_2009_

Despite his initial unease about being trapped in 2009, Kurt felt at home within the first week, and had become extremely comfortable within the weeks to follow. Sectionals had occurred exactly how he remembered with New Directions moving on to Regionals. The old Kurt had hated feeling so alone, but new Kurt understood took his isolation as an opportunity. New York had felt so crowded and he lived with half the glee club so he had no space. Even his bed he shared, not that he minded his nights with Blaine. He thought those were what he missed the most. But certainly this ordeal would be over soon enough.

In the library at lunch, Kurt used the computers to learn more about how he'd gone back to 2009 but nothing seemed to fit his situation.

"Kurt!?" He looked over at Rachael who was giving him a look of disbelief. "Are you even listening? Regionals are in one week! We need to focus!"

"Oh, it's fine, Rachael, New Directions are going to win." Kurt replied coolly.

"Not if we don't focus! Do you even care, Kurt?!" She demanded. "Do any of you even care?"

"Of course, Rachael," Finn assured her, "He's just being optimistic, right Kurt?"

"Sure."

"Rachael, everybody cares." Mercedes groaned from the second row.

"Yeah, but not all of us are as naturally naggy as you are." Santana spat.

_I'm missing nothing _Kurt thought_, This is just like home but now I think they really hate each other._

Shue interrupted then and brought the club back to the set list. The past week had been strange for him, only because he'd become accustomed to seeing everything with the memory of it having occurred before. The deja-vous had stopped though, and Kurt suddenly realized why...

With his return to 2009 Kurt had the foresight to understand Korofsky, and the self-assurance to ignore him. He'd known better than to follow him into the change room so that unpleasant forced-first-kiss memory could dissolve, and although he did allow for some unpleasant memories to occur as they had originally, there were some he avoided entirely. He'd even demanded Burt and Finn take a break from their wedding dance lessons right before he knew Korofsky was passing so his father didn't need to witness that unpleasantness. That was more for Burt than for him- -he knew changing that would change something in his relationship to Finn, such as the song Finn had once dedicated to Kurt at the wedding, but he couldn't stand seeing the pain and heartbreak in his fathers eyes a second time. He figured this was a mercy to his dad. One of these unpleasant memories he decided to avoid was trying to help the boys beat the girls in the competition. He knew what songs they would do and he knew the results and figured, if this was really time travel, he shouldn't fight to change things. But since he'd never fought to change anything, he'd also never gone to Dalton academy, and without feeling threatened by Korofsky, his father didn't feel the need to transfer him schools.

So this week, Kurt realized, was different because he didn't remember it. He wasn't there.

For the first time since he'd realized he was not in 2014 anymore, Kurt felt himself start to panic. _No,_ he told himself, _Blaine will wait for me_. But then doubt re-entered his mind and he remembered that Blaine didn't know he was waiting for Kurt, and in the meantime any boy could catch his eye and the thought made Kurt sick to his stomach. Almost sick enough to run out of the class but luckily enough the bell rang releasing them.

.

"Dad, I need to go to Dalton." Kurt said at dinner. Carol and Finn, who had moved in only a few days before, looked at Burt curiously as if he had more insight on the topic.

"Dalton?" Burt repeated curious.

"Yes." Kurt nodded. "Like, Dalton academy."

"You mean that fancy boys school the Warblers are from?" Finn asked curiously.

"Fancy boys school?" Burt asked. "This isn't a gay thing is it?"

"No, dad." Kurt groaned, "It is not a gay thing. It is a bully thing. Dalton has an excellent no bullying policy and I need to go there."

"Dalton." Burt repeated looking at Carol for help. "Is that the one up there in...?"

"The private school" Carol nodded.

"Private schools are really expensive, Kurt, why would you need to go there?"

"Is this for glee?" Finn wondered.

"No, it is to get away from the bullying."

"What bullying?" Carol gasped.

"People have been bullying you?" Burt asked while Finn asked, "I thought you said they weren't bothering you anymore."

"Maybe we should speak with the principal." Carol suggested.

"The principal won't do anything!" Kurt snapped in frustration, less in response to in-term-principal Sue and more in frustration that he'd have to wait longer to see Blaine. Sure, he could find a reason to go to Dalton, but he knew how the Warblers got when they were close to competition and wouldn't be able to get within five feet of Blaine unless he had a proper Dalton uniform.

_With that being said, _Kurt thought, _Blaine did say something in him loved me from the moment he first saw me... maybe I could recreate our meeting._ No, he realized then, Blaine was their Rachael, and the Warblers weren't going to let him out of their sights for long. Not while they spent every available moment practicing.

"The principal hasn't dealt with me yet." Burt stated with certainty. "No one messes with me son and gets away with it."

"Burt, I haven't seen anyone bullying Kurt." Finn noted.

"Yeah? And where have you been?" Burt demanded.

"I see Kurt all day long." Finn answered. "If anything, I thought he looked happier."

"That is true, Kurt." Burt mused suddenly. "I've noticed that too. You seem... more complete."

"Well I am not complete and I won't be until I am out of that school!"

"If you don't like your school, there are places you can go before Dalton. I've no doubt it's a good school but that also means their tuition is much higher than we can afford. Plus, you need to give McKinley a chance to help you before completely deserting them." Burt explained. "Besides, I do not know what you kids have been doing at McKinley lately but you've really changed in the past few weeks. You seem happier, more confident... I like that change, so whatever might be going on... to be honest, kid, even if it might suck right now, I think it's been really good for you."

"I need to go to Dalton, dad." He was almost begging.

"No." Burt decided. "That school is way too expensive. I will arrange a meeting with your principal tomorrow."

Kurt groaned and slouched back in his chair. He knew there was no fighting his father on this. Not without him having witnessed the harassment, or without the assault driven depression which had only been lifted by Blaine.

He would find a way, though, he determined. No matter what he had to do.

* * *

2014

Kurt was resting on the couch trying to catch up on all the TV series that had come out since 2009 when Sam and Blaine burst loudly through the door.

Blaine held paper bags filled with groceries which he took towards the kitchen counter while Sam marched directly towards the TV which he stood confidently in front of.

"So I think I have figured out this missing memories thing." Sam announced, ignoring Kurts attempts to see the TV from around his body.

"You told Sam?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"I tell Sam everything." Blaine answered from the kitchen where he put away food.

"I feel like I don't like that." Kurt mused.

Blaine shrugged innocently.

"Alright so this book talks about alien abduction and how it can affect memory." Sam continued. Kurt looked at Blaine as if to determine whether or not this was serious. Apparently, it was. "So Kurt, have you been visited by little green men lately?"

"I wouldn't know." Kurt snapped in slight annoyance.

"Right, because they mind wiped you." Sam explained as if he'd really thought of the answer. Kurt looked back to Blaine who seemed impressed by Sam's research, if that was what they would call it. "Or have you seen any portals recently? Spoken to faeries?"

"This is ridiculous." Kurt shook his head and started to stand. "I'm going to NYADA."

"Wait, maybe it's time travel." Sam thought.

"My golly, he's got it." Kurt groaned sarcastically while grabbing his coat and bag.

"Sam's just trying to help." Blaine amended walking towards them from the kitchen.

"Are you going to take me to NYADA?" Kurt wondered. "I don't know where it is."

"It could be like in transference." Sam said as if Kurt was supposed to know what that meant. "Maybe you're your past self right now, and your future self, your self from the now, is where your you self was yesterday."

"What?"

"That didn't really make sense." Blaine agreed.

"It's simple guys, just think about it!" Sam encouraged.

_It's a good thing he's pretty._

"If Kurt from 2009 is here, then where is our Kurt? 2014 Kurt?" Sam asked, "There's only one answer. He must be in 2009"

"Alright, but that might not be the only answer." Blaine warned.

"It's not." Kurt decided feeling like he was breathing so hard his heart might explode.

"This means there is only one way to fix this!" Sam decided then stopped, "I don't know how to fix this."

"Is transference a movie? A book?" Blaine wondered.

"It's an area of science a man on the subway was explaining to me on my way home."

"I feel like it's not." Kurt decided.

"It's definitely not." Blaine agreed. "But that doesn't mean you're not on the right track, Sam! We just have to keep looking."

"If doctors can't figure it out, what makes you think we will?" Kurt demanded, his voice was laced with fear.

"I will help you." Blaine vowed. "If we can't figure out how to fix it... I'll help you move forward."

"The only way we can know for sure if it is transference, is if we somehow ask 2014 Kurt in 2009 if he is in fact from 2014." Sam continued. "We'd have to ask him because he obviously didn't tell us or we'd remember, right?"

"Sam..." Blaine breathed.

"I need to go to NYADA today and hand in my papers." Kurt explained in an exhausted tone. "Blaine."

"Oh-I'm coming?" Blaine blinked in surprise before offering a sly smile. "Not that I mind, of course, but I just got home."

"I don't know where NYADA is." Kurt reminded giving him a small look to signify he just wanted to leave.

Blaine understood immediately and nodded quickly. "Let me just change real quick." Then he dashed behind the curtain to their shared room.

"Have you been having strange dreams lately?" Sam continued.

"You look really good today, Sam, did you do something different with your hair?" Kurt wondered.

The distraction worked and Sam began a tangent about his new style methods and interests.

When Blaine returned, he did not walk with confidence. He stumbled slightly, looking around at the floor around him as if he wasn't sure where he was.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, not sure if this was regular behavior for him. "What's...?"

"Where am I?" Blaine mumbled looking around the room curiously, finally looking up at Kurt and Sam. "Who are you?"

"This might be a problem." Sam mused.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, thank you to those who have read this far, commented, and/or followed the story! So, as I mentioned in the first chapter, this story was based off another I cannot find any longer. Since the source material is gone, (and I have the memory of a squirrel), I am making this up a little as I go. **

**Don't worry, I'm totally on the Klaine boat, so that's definitely where this ship is sailing (I think I'm punny ;))**

**I don't really write Glee stuff ever so this is my first attempt so thank you to all of you who like it, and feel free to let me know what you think!**

**P.S. I'm so extremely confused by the exact timeline Glee has so I'm kinda just making up times to separate events and competitions. Hope that's okay with y'all.**

**Alright! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Unwelcome**

2009

Kurt had driven to Dalton two days after his father had arranged a useless meeting at his school. The school was just as he remembered when he walked inside, though it was less busy.

_The Warblers are preparing for regional... they don't have time to give performances. _Kurt understood.

He almost felt like an intruder. No, he did feel like and intruder, and a creep, sneaking through the prep-school hallways in search of one of their sophomores. He could remember Blaines class schedule with a fair level of ease so he just needed to time their accidental encounter without being caught by the hall monitors or administration who would surely demand he leave.

Since he hadn't participated in sectionals with the New Directions the first time, he had avoided it due to an illness he faked involving-.-he claimed-.-projectile vomiting and a sore throat so terrible that he lost his voice. The other members of the club, especially some of the more diva-ish members, decided they wanted him no where near them or he might wreck their performance. This meant he'd lost on an opportunity to see Blaine there, and he was only now realizing that, if they couldn't meet as they originally had on the staircase, it would have been the next best thing.

Kurt vaguely considered the possibility that he could just follow Blaine down the stairs and try to recreate their meeting exactly, but he knew the routes Blaine preferred to take to his classes and he didn't have the patience to wait for him to get to the stairs.

His heart sputtered when the bell rang and for a moment he feared he wouldn't be able to breathe when it was time to meet Blaine. He'd hardly been nervous about meeting Blaine on the stairs, only worried that he might know he was an imposer, and when letting himself hope that Blaine might like him back he'd been worried and hopeful but the stakes had not been that high; he'd expected rejection, he was so used to being alone that he was just happy to have Blaine as a friend. That was not the case anymore. This meeting could be everything to him. Kurt knew exactly what he had to lose if he made even the slightest error, and it could cost him his entire world.

_Blaine loved me_, Kurt told himself, _he didn't know it but he did. He loved me before and he will do it again. Nothing to be worried about. _Still, he was anxious to get his soul mate back.

The halls began filling with boys wearing Dalton suits. The sight made his heart race a little more, especially when he saw the one belonging to his beautiful fiance.

Blaine left the class with two boys, one Kurt knew instantly from his time at Dalton and the other who did look vaguely familiar but didn't matter enough for Kurt to care much about.

Kurt immediately began cutting through the chattering halls until he was only a step behind Blaine.

_Oh, how I have missed that beautiful hair and that beautiful head and soon I will hear his beautiful voice once more._ He put a hand on Blaines shoulder to turn him, as he would usually, before quickly turning it into a small tap when he remembered they weren't currently that close.

"Excuse me," Kurt said with a slight smile on his face as he tried desperately to seem casual and the right level of nervous. Blaine had always said he thought it had been cute and endearing. As Blaine, then the other two turned Kurt continued, "Hi, I'm new here and-"

He was cut off by the boy he only somewhat recognized grabbing Blaine by the arm and dragging him back into the crowd off people saying, "Come on, Grandel will kill us if we're late for our presentation."

Kurt watched with a face painted in shock and tortured disappointment as Blaines confused face, and a shocked "_Ugh_" from being suddenly dragged, was hidden once more by the crowds. The boy, Kurt thought his name might be Taylor or Tyler or something, who remained smiled friendly enough, just as Blaine had when they'd first met. But Kurt had no interest in recreating any memories with anyone but Blaine.

The interest left Kurts face instantly and he looked up at Taylor-Tyler-whatever his name was and said from memory of the class and location, "I'm new. Looking for Mrs. Adams class. Room 207."

"Oh, that's just down the hall that way. I can take you if you..." He offered with a smile but Kurt shook his head, thanked him as pleasantly as he could manage and marched into the direction the boy had pointed.

_Maybe I should just poke him on Facebook... that seemed to work for Eli. C._ Kurt thought mopping, then realized as he sat on one of the hallway benches that maybe he wasn't being smart enough about this. He knew Blaine. He knew what he liked and what he looked for, and what he'd thought he wanted before meeting Kurt. He knew where he liked to spend his free time and where to shop. He was even fairly certain he knew where he would be on Valentines day. Perhaps he could run into Blaine at the Gap. But that had already passed, and Kurt had no idea whether or not Blaine had followed through without Kurt foolishly misunderstanding Blaines intentions and encouraging him.

Or he could start spending every free minute he had at the Lima Bean until he ran into Blaine "accidentally." Maybe he should start befriend someone at Dalton so he had a way in. But he was already struggling to befriend someone at Dalton. That Tyler guy seemed pretty friendly and he clearly had a preexisting relationship with Blaine.

_No,_ Kurt thought, _I won't exploit someone, no matter how much I think it may be worth it._ Although he did miss a few of his Dalton friends and the support they gave him, Blaine was his priority.

It was only five more minutes before a teacher caught him and he was asked to leave. But he needed air anyway. His efforts to keep himself calm and rational all seemed meaningless since his body was starting to panic.

_What if I never get Blaine back? What if I am never able to get him alone or he starts dating someone else, or he isn't interested in getting to know me if it isn't in the context of Dalton and being bullied, and how do I get him to notice me or love me again. What if I've lost him forever, this isn't what I wanted, I didn't even ask for this, I want to go back to New York where I have my friends, and school, and Blaine._

Finn entered his mind then. He'd been so happy to spend so much more time with Finn, time he never thought he'd have again. He thought it was fairly obvious that Finn misunderstood the attention but he wasn't going to repeat the same mistake that had gotten him kicked out last time. Kurt didn't want to make Finn feel uncomfortable but he also couldn't just explain to him why he was so happy to be near him.

Kurt felt a twinge of pain and guilt in his stomach. He'd prioritized using this as a vacation and reconnecting with Finn rather than finding Blaine like he was supposed to. And now finding Blaine seemed somehow so much harder. And he was getting desperate. _I could just corner him at his house._ Kurt thought, _Or I could pretend that I was a singing gram sent from his brother. _He wouldn't doubt it, Kurt knew. Who else would know Cooper Anderson was his brother, or how they talked to one another, or the problems in the relationship that Kurt could help fix a little earlier by letting Blaine know how much his brother loved him, even if he didn't always show it.

That would allow Kurt to see Blaine, but how would he befriend him from that point? Blaine wouldn't be rude or send him away by force, but he also wasn't sure he was able to stomach the awkward, _are you leaving yet_ looks Blaine would undoubtedly give him after the excitement of his job was over.

Kurt got in his car and drove back to McKinnley, worrying relentlessly that he might not be able to reconnect with Blaine as they once had.

He could remember Blaine clearly, that was his only comfort. It wasn't as if Korofsky had stopped harassing him, or that he'd somehow gained more acceptance at school. In fact, he was fairly certain that the glee club's acknowledgment of his importance only came after he'd left, meaning he and his problems were still invisible to them. And now he had nothing but the confidence created from the friendship of a boy he couldn't even meet. Eventually Blaines influence would run out and where would that leave Kurt then?

_No, _Kurt then told himself as he parked in the school student parking lot,_ you are an adult, not a teenager or a child. You've matured more than this and you will use that. Blaine will love you. You will get him back. Stalking him all over town will only get you noticed and push him away. Patience. _

.

It was only a few more days after that they were on their way to regionals. Kurt had noticed that for some reason the set list had changed, and fought desperately to have it returned to the songs they'd chosen the first time around so they would once again win. The rest of the club had been hesitant but agreed on the idea of original songs, all of which seemed to be inspired and assigned by Kurt.

Kurt was hesitant to preform again at regionals because he didn't want to screw things up any further, but he knew he had to. The Warblers had followed Kurts suggestion and lost. Although Kurt still felt he had been correct in suggesting that Blaine's solo's were becoming expected and tedious, a small part of him feared that was why they'd lost. Without Kurt there to make Blaine think about it, he never would have demanded a duet and the Warblers would be preforming as usual. Kurt did not doubt Blaines ability to win the competition.

He didn't want the Warblers to win. Mostly because he wanted to be on the winning team always, but also because he wanted to repair his mistakes to the timeline and if that didn't work, at least with less to worry about, Blaine might have more time to meet Kurt.

He felt his feet growing heavier and heavier as he got off the bus and walked towards the building regionals would be held in. He was dressed in the black suit he'd never warn and attempted to listen to Mercedes excitement but it was a challenge for him. He'd screwed up. He'd worked so hard to have Blaine love him. By now they should be together, preparing to go on stage and sing together in the most exhilarating and romantic moment of Kurts life up until that point.

When they got to their greenroom, Kurt immediately dismissed himself. He couldn't feel comfortable. He felt sick to his stomach. Nothing felt right about the room, or his situation, or his life. He needed air or he was sure he'd pass out. He didn't get far through the hall, though, before falling against a wall and fighting to remain standing. He lost that fight as his knees buckled and he fell to the floor hugging his knees and pressing his face into them in a hope that this was all just some awful nightmare and he would wake up in Blaines arms and be kissed and forget all about this awful time without him.

"Are you okay?" Kurt felt himself freeze at the voice that seemed to radiate through his bones. He looked up slowly, trying desperately to compose his face to look natural. Blaine stood a foot away from him, with perfectly gelled hair and his hands in his Warbler pockets as he looked down at Kurt carefully. "Are you okay?"

"I..." Kurt blinked at him momentarily trying to determine whether or not he was real. "I... um, yeah. Yes, I am, thank you."

Kurt started to stand and paused for a moment as Blaine offered him a hand to help him up. He thought he might have lost the ability to breathe when he took Blaines hand and felt his skin for the first time in weeks, months even. He was not in a rush to let go of his hand when he was standing again, and to his own relief, Blaine didn't instantly pull his hand away from him.

"You're nervous." Blaine assumed with a small suggestively mischievous smile crossing his face. Kurt always loved that smile but he also loved everything about Blaine. He'd thought there were some, more needy, qualities about him he could do without but after so much time of living without him and the fear that Blaine might not even know he existed, those clingy character traits were looking mighty comforting.

"I guess that might be what it is." Kurt had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from smiling and beaming with excitement at the chance to talk to Blaine again.

"I know it can be scary sometimes." Blaine acknowledged with a supportive smile before slowly pulling his hand away and presenting it in a greeting sort of way to shake Kurts hand. "I remember how it felt my first time on stage. I'm Blaine."

"Kurt." Kurt smiled a little wider and accepted Blaines hand once more, only this time the contact only lasted a few seconds before Blaine pulled away. It was a little strange, Kurt thought, looking into Blaines eyes because he'd gotten so used to being taller than him and suddenly they were back to being the same size.

"Kurt." Blaine repeated. He continued to look and speak to Kurt with friendliness but watched him with amused skepticism, "weren't you are Dalton the other day? I swear I saw you there."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I was, I was just..."

"But now you're from New Directions."

"Well, yes..." Kurt was going to explain more but Blaine cut him off, playing with the collar of his jacket for a quick moment.

"Spying would be easier if you knew where you were going, just so you know." Blaine smirked releasing Kurts collar. "Our choir room is downstairs."

"I wasn't spying actually." Kurt blurted out and after a short moment of awkwardness, he was thankful because it kept the conversation with Blaine alive. "I'm gay."

He wasn't sure what Blaines exact response was to his tiny outburst because multiple expressions seemed to cross his face from confusion, to curiosity, to interest, to irritation, to a stern but intrigued look through narrowed eyes that Kurt knew from experience was an invitation to explain.

"I'm gay." Kurt repeated. "And that's not exactly okay at my school." Understanding and sympathy instantly crossed Blaines face then. "Not for everyone, at least. I'm the only kid who is out of the closet, and I can't imagine anyone understands, or even really cares, and I get bullied relentlessly for it. I thought I'd gotten over it, but I don't think it's possible, and this one neanderthal of a bully won't stop harassing me, but I'm also fairly certain he thinks he's in love with me and,"

Blaine put up his hands as if asking Kurt to take a break and pause, or slow down making Kurt instantly feel guilty and almost insecure. _Please don't say I scared him away. _Please_ tell me you haven't scared away the love of your life by talking._ But Kurt shook his head slightly and understood his rambling, although partly due to awkwardness, was his need to talk to someone and his absolute comfort with Blaine. _He wouldn't judge someone for being upset about bullying__. He's not that sort of person._

"Wow, I'm really sorry that all of that is happening to you, Kurt." He said in a serious but caring tone. "And I totally get it, actually, I'm gay too, if you could even believe it, my father doesn't."

Kurt shot out a laugh in part because he thought the comment was funny but also because he was so nervous to be talking again to Blaine.

Blaine smiled with a little pride seeing that he'd made Kurt laugh, and continued almost bashfully. "I used to get teased and bullied at my old school about it, too. I totally get it. But you do know that Dalton is not actually a gay school, right?"

"Yes, I do." Kurt said working on creating a completely controlled smile to offer Blaine in response. "And I am sorry for spying, I suppose. I just know that Dalton has a zero tolerance policy on bullying and... I'm just so tired of feeling like this."

"Well, I am glad that you are considering Dalton as an option. It definitely beats many alternatives. And if you do come, I am sure the Warblers would be happy to have you." Blaine smiled. His smile was pulled away suddenly and he started looking very serious and flustered as he searched his pockets for his phone. "And here. I will give you my number so if you ever want to talk to someone, you can call or text me."

"Really?" Kurt asked with hopeful excitement. How could this really be happening? Was he really getting a second chance?

"Of course." He handed Kurt his phone to put his number into his phone. "I have to go back to my room now. We are going to be up soon. I came over because I thought I recognized you from Dalton, then you started looking a little off and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I am, now, thank you."

"Good." Blaine smiled a little bashfully. "I'm really glad I decided to come over then. I don't usually talk to strangers." He bit his lip then as if he was worried that he'd said the wrong thing which to Kurt was insane. But he understood that the boy had no way of knowing that Kurt was already so deeply in love with him that he could say just about anything and Kurt would remain just as devoted to him.

Kurt glanced back down at the phone then, and returned it to the home screen only to feel himself tense with an emotion that curled his stomach into knots and tightened his body into what felt like knots. He wasn't going to let such a little thing like a picture make him think anything that didn't exist. Kurt and Mercedes were on each others home screens. But the jealous, long forgotten anger that Kurt felt was undeniable and unavoidable.

"Oh, that's my boyfriend." Blaine said noticing Kurts eyes on the photo. Kurt thought those words should cause him more pain but nothing more could be added beyond the anger he already felt towards the meerkat in the photo next to his fiance. "His name is Sebastian."


	5. Chapter 5

**Intruder**

2009

"He's amazing." Blaine continued despite Kurts certainty that he hadn't asked for anymore details on Sebastian Smyte. "He moved here from France about a month ago. I was so lucky to have met him."

"Mhm." Kurt forced a painful smile and nodded once as if he didn't feel like throwing the phone across the room. "Why did he move from France?"

"Sheer luck, really! He'd applied to come next year but I guess there was extra space at Dalton so they insisted he come earlier." Blaine beamed with so much happiness that Kurt almost wanted to be happy for him. And he would, had it been anyone else.

He didn't trust Sebastian, though, and he knew enough about him to fear for his intentions towards Blaine. Blaine wasn't was free-willing as Sebastian was, and Kurt didn't doubt Sebastian would have any no trouble pressuring Blaine into bed with him. He didn't deserve that. Neither of them deserved the other.

"He looks familiar." Kurt mused almost sourly.

"Oh, really?" Blaine asked glancing over his shoulder as he heard the Warblers being called to stage.

"Yes. He reminds me of a boy I once knew. Couldn't keep it in his pants. Sleazy and a bully, and he almost blinded my best friend one time. And he was about as loyal as a jack rabbit." Kurt continued.

"Oh... well, Sebastian isn't anything like that. He's such a nice guy." Blaine glanced over his shoulder again. "So sorry, Kurt, it was really nice meeting you but I really have to go. I'll text you, we can meet up and talk some time."

"Alright, sounds good." Kurt tried to laugh as if he wasn't screaming inside. "Good luck! Break a leg out there!"

"Thanks!" Blaine called as he ran towards stage.

"Preferably Sebastian's leg." Kurt grumbled to himself before returning to his green room.

_'You have nothing to worry about Kurt, Sebastian and I are just friends.' Just friends my ass. Ten minutes without me and you fell right into his trap. _Kurt was very confident that his sour mood transferred onto his face.

When Kurt and the rest of the New Directions went to sit in the audience, Kurt found it almost impossible not to look for Blaine in the shadows behind the curtains. He could imagine him standing straight and imagining he wasn't nervous as he played at his never changing uniform. He was a little bitter about learning about his new boyfriend but still felt a spark of hope. Blaine knew him now. They'd met, he had his number.

He considered the idea that it might not be the right thing to do, but he had a chance to break them up. _Sebastian is no good for him. I'm doing him a f__avour._

He shook his head and tried to concentrate. He needed to think about breathing if he didn't want to suffocate.

When the Warblers walked onto the stage, Kurt was fairly certain his heart had stopped beating and might not start again. Their first song, as Kurt could have easily assumed, was a solo by Blaine with the Warblers swaying behind him. But the second song was a duet. It started with Blaine but Kurt had to watch in silent agony as Sebastian came out and started to sing with him. They danced around each other with an easy comfort that made Kurt sick to watch. And he felt he was overheating. He needed air.

But he also couldn't move his body to get out.

_I'm going to die_, he thought as he felt his body molded to the seat and unable to pull his eyes away from the two on stage, _This is how I die._

"Kurt!" Finn whispered while pulling Kurts arm when Kurt finally focused.

"I can't do this." Kurt mumbled as Finn dragged into the back to prepare for their performance.

"Yes you can." Finn determined as they reached backstage. "Cause I believe in you and the entire glee club needs you, so I don't know what's going on with you but we really need you to focus."

I'm going to fail. How am I supposed to go out and sing when I can't breathe? We are going to lose because of me, Kurt thought as tears started streaming down his face. He wanted to convince himself the tears came from losing the competition for a second time because he choked, but he knew the truth was Blaine. All of Kurts fears and anxieties seemed to manifest themselves within the past twenty minutes and he wasn't sure he could continue.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Shue asked noticing Kurt crying in the back. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I just..." He tried to pretend he wasn't upset or crying but his body refused to cooperate.

"Shue, we can't go out there with Kurt like this." Puck complained.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong?" Sam asked putting a hand on Kurts shoulder.

"He looks pale, can someone go get a nurse or a medic?" Shue asked.

"Hey, what's going on?" Kurt was sure his heart had completely stopped when he heard Blaine's voice. "Kurt?"

"You guys know each other?" Sam asked but his voice was muffled behind the Warblers as they left the stage and gathered to see what was wrong with the boy hyperventilating against the back wall.

"Yeah, we met a few minutes ago." Blaine answered, cutting in front of the small crowd and putting a hand just under Kurts chin to better examine his face. "He looks paler now."

Blaines touch was the medicine he needed, though, to calm him down. The feeling of his skin on his own. His voice, his proximity.

"I'm sorry." He breathed. Kurt didn't say this as an apology to Blaine, the warblers, or the New Directions for his anxiety attack, but to Blaine for not prioritizing their meeting, for taking him for granted, and for ever even considering he could live without him. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"Don't even worry." Blaine cooed stepping closer to Kurt but not as close as he would have liked.

"Are you feeling better now?" Sam wondered, "Or are you still freaking out?"

Blaine gave him a look that Kurt read easily as _really?_ Before glancing back at Kurt.

"Are you nervous?" Blaine wondered. His hand remained on Kurts face and it was the only thing to keep him calm.

Kurt tried to think of Sebastian now. With Blaine so close, touching him, he thought that maybe he could stomach the idea of them together long enough to preform. But maybe not.

"I want to go home." Kurt whimpered too softly for anyone but Blaine to hear. He was saying it to Blaine. His Blaine, who might not even exist anymore.

Why hadn't he gone home yet? Why hadn't he worked harder to fix this situation? If this was a very long dream, why hadn't he woken up yet? What sort of bad dream lasted months? The coma kind, he considered. Yes, that's what the matter was. None of this was real, he decided. He was in a coma. However he got there, and Blaine was sitting by his bed waiting loyally for him to wake up. Blaine was kissing his forehead and his hands, telling him that he was loved and vowing never to leave him, and Kurt swore he would never leave him either. He'd find a way to wake up, even if he had no idea how. He would stay with Blaine as long as he could.

But reality hit him once more that this was probably not a dream. It was too coherent to be a coma, he could remember exactly how they'd all gotten there. He wasn't going to wake up to his beloved fiance. He wasn't going to wake up at all. The idea terrified him.

"Alright. No one would judge you, I'm sure, if you needed to leave. Your health is more important than any competition. But are you sure it's not nerves? Do you have a solo?" Blaine wondered quietly, trying to comfort the boy he thought was a stranger. Kurt nodded, "Oh, wonderful. What song are you singing?"

Blaine took Kurts hands with his free hand and held them while looking into Kurts eyes.

"Dude, you're really good at this." Puck mused and Kurt tried to ignore him.

"Yeah, like an expert." Sam agreed.

"I used to get nervous too." Blaine responded softly, never leaving Kurts eyes.

"It's an original song." Kurt answered quietly as he tried to control himself. He found it impossible to not melt into Blaines eyes.

"Wow... that's really cool." Blaine mused. "Did you write it?" Kurt nodded, "Did you write it for someone?"

_Yes, you,_ Kurt thought. "A friend."

"It must be a special friend." Blaine mused.

"The specialist." Kurt nodded.

"Then just think of that person when you are out there. Picture them in front of you and only sing to them." He suggested. "With all of your heart."

Kurt nodded slowly, watching only Blaine until another voice came echoing through his ears.

"What's going on over here?" Sebastian wondered and Blaine pulled instantly away from Kurt. "Why hasn't New Directions gone out yet?"

"Sebastian." Blaine smiled but now rather than sickness, Kurt felt angry. Angry, not only at himself for leaving Blaine open to such an ass but also at Sebastian for actually believing Kurt would allow something like this to continue. "This is my new friend Kurt that I told you about."

"Oh, hey." Sebastian smiled much more pleasantly at Kurt than Kurt had ever received from him and suddenly he understood why they had never gotten along; both wanted Blaine. "Are you feeling better, buddy?"

"I am, thank you Blaine." Kurt said nodding at both Sam and Puck who excitedly turned to inform Shuester that they would be okay to preform. "I'm sorry that you have to meet me so..."

"That's alright!" Blaine smiled, "It can be difficult and life can get overwhelming and when too many things overlap, sometimes you just need someone to talk to."

"I am glad you are feeling better, Kurt." Sebastian smiled and Kurt wondered exactly how fake his happiness was. Clearly, he'd needed to be more pleasant to please Blaine, but this nice guy routine wouldn't last long. And Blaine... well, Kurt worried, hopefully Blaine wouldn't blind himself.

"Thank you, Sebastian." Kurt couldn't remember if they'd been formally introduced or not but he didn't really care for the minute. Kurt needed to be friendly enough with Sebastian that he wouldn't go into defense mode. Or maybe he needed to be just flirty enough that Sebastian would go crazy and show his true colours while trying to keep Blaine, while keeping Blaine oblivious to exactly what Kurt was doing.

_There is a chance for us,_ Kurt thought, _you never pulled away from anyone, maybe Eli C or Sam, in such a way that you didn't want me to see what you were doing. You don't love him like you love me._

With a couple more breaths Kurt was calm enough that New Directions could start. It went very similar to how it had the first time, only now Kurt had his own original song they could end with. And when he sang, he sang with more passion, and love, and anger than he would have ever been able to if he didn't have five extra years of experience. He found Blaine in the crowd, sitting next to Sebastian of course.

Kurt feared that his break down would hurt their chances of winning while Blaine and Sebastian, as much as Kurt hated to admit it, sounded excellent together. But somehow, Kurts passion mixed with the talent of the group, was enough for them to win.

The New Directions were as happy as they had been originally over their victory and this time, without Kurt as his own prize, Blaine didn't seem as content with losing but Kurt felt accomplished.

This didn't make Sebastian or Blaine very happy but Blaine texted Kurt,

**_Congratulations_****_ on New Directions winning! Your song sent chills through me, it was incredible. Well done! ~ Blaine_**

**_Thank you so much! I couldn't have done it without your support ~ Kurt_**

_**No problem! Glad I could help ~ Blaine**_

_**You seemed upset about more than just the show. Did you want to get coffee tomorrow to talk about it? ~Blaine**_

_**Maybe about the friend you dedicated that song to?! ~Blaine**_

_**Tomorrow would be great! What time? ~ Kurt**_

_**10 am? ~ Blaine**_

_**I can't wait :) ~ Kurt**_

_**I'll see you then! :) ~ Blaine**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Sebastian VS Kurt**

2009

Kurt arrived at the Lima Bean an hour early and sat waiting in his car for forty of those minutes before entering the cafe and waiting anxiously at an empty table next to the door. He knew Blaine well enough to know his seat would allow him to walk up behind Blaine unnoticed and hopefully add a hint of casualness to the otherwise jittery Kurt.

When Blaine walked in it was about five minutes after 10. The five minutes was enough to send Kurt into multiple fear-filled fantasies about why Blaine might not be there but his late arrival made Kurt feel as though the five minutes had been only a moment and nothing else mattered except seeing Blaine again.

"Oh, sorry I'm late." Blaine gushed, as Kurt knew he always did. "I'm usually much better at showing up on time. You weren't waiting long were you?"

"No, of course not!" Kurt laughed, mentally wondering if Blaine genuinely believed he was ever on time without Kurt making him be. "I just got here. Perfect timing."

"Oh good." Blaine smiled removing his scarf and jacket and stepping into the line. "Have you ordered yet?"

"I haven't." Kurt smiled.

They didn't speak while in line but after sitting down, speaking was as easy as breathing. Blaine listened patiently while listening to Kurt talk about his bullies at school, mainly Korofsky, and Kurt listened willingly to Blaine's replies. He saw a spark of anger in Blaines eyes, well hidden and undetectable to people who didn't know him. Had that been there the first time? Or had what Kurt told him gotten worse as more time passed with Kurt suffering it? He wasn't sure. Everyday since the moment he realised he might not magically return to his life as he'd known it had been more painful than anything the bullies could have done. He knew exactly what his happily ever after looked like and what he'd overcome to get it. Now he stared it in the eyes but it barely even knew he existed. Kurt was sure he could take any amount of hatred that people could pointlessly have towards him based on his sexuality or style, but he could not survive being without Blaine.

"I know my father would let me go to Dalton if he understood how bad it was." Kurt replied confidently to Blaines second attempt to convince him that Dalton might be a better fit. "I've been hiding it from him, so he didn't have to hurt with me, but it is starting to seem a little counter-intuitive."

"You are so incredibly brave, Kurt." Blaine praised, resting his chin on his propped hand. "I honestly cannot believe how... _composed_ you are. I certainly wasn't." He made a face that Kurt knew well, and hated, as Blaine internally attacked himself for being what he considered a coward and running away from his old school.

"You are brave, Blaine." Kurt promised putting a hand forward on top of Blaines. "And you will have many opportunities to prove it."

"I hope you're right." Blaine whimpered putting his hand over Kurts, and staring longingly into Kurts shoulder, but only for a few moments before he collected himself once more and pulling away. "B-But anyways, how are the New Directions? Have you started preparing for nationals?"

"Regionals was yesterday." Kurt laughed softly.

Blaine smiled a little and shrugged.

"Hello there." Both boys looked up at the voice they both found familiar. Sebastian stepped towards the table with a coffee in his hand and a threatening grin stretched across his face. "Blaine." He greeted. "Who is this?"

"Sebastian!" Blaine greeted with a wide, surprised smile. Sebastian moved to stand next to Blaine, lowering his face to kiss him which Blaine willingly met. Kurt felt acid pump out of his stomach and into the back of his throat at the sight but fought to maintain a straight face. "Kurt, this is my boyfriend, Sebastian. Seb, this is my new friend Kurt."

Kurt waved and smiled because he doubted he'd be able to produce words.

Sebastian smiled at Kurt as he pulled out a chair and took a seat.

"Nice to meet you Kurt." Sebastian seemed serious as he offered his hand over the table to Kurt who unwillingly accepted it, only because he trusted that Blaine would value Sebastians opinion of Kurt. He wouldn't be able to win over Blaine if Sebastian convinced him that Kurt was a bad person. "You're from... New Directions, right? You're the boy who got really upset backstage."

Blaine put a hand on Sebastians shoulder to stop him. They shared a quick look before returning their glance to Kurt.

Sebastian changed his tone immediately, though. "What have you two been talking about?"

"I was just asking whether they had started preparing for nationals." Blaine answered.

"But Blaine, regionals were yesterday." Sebastian laughed giving Kurt a knowing look. Kurt tried but he couldn't find anything malicious or suggestive in Sebastians expression. Maybe, Kurt thought for a moment, he really did care about Blaine and his treatment of Kurt and the New Directions was just his anger and jealousy that he never had him.

_No, _Kurt thought, _Blaine is mine and Sebastian is Satan. I must save Blaine._

"Nationals is a big deal." Blaine reminded them both. "You don't just put it off until a week before."

"I'm sure we will start talking about it on Monday." Kurt agreed with a small smile.

"So, Kurt, are you feeling better after yesterday?" Sebastian wondered. Kurt was almost convinced Sebastian cared. Momentarily, Kurt thought that maybe this was why Blaine had been so oblivious before, because when he wasn't stealing candy from babies or trying to set animal shelters on fire, Sebastian really did seem like a decent, normal guy.

"I am, thank you." Kurt continued to force his smile. He couldn't imagine anything could be worse than seeing Blaine with Sebastian, and if he was wrong then he didn't want to know.

"I know, the first time on stage can be very jarring." Sebastian purred with a small smirk and a tone Kurt was sure was meant to provoke him. Kurt took a breath and tried to shake off his history with Sebastian so that he could focus on what he was saying now. Kurt needed to stay focused if he wanted to free Blaine. "But your original songs idea was a good one. Very... cute. But also very risky."

Something about Sebastians tone made Kurts stomach turn.

"Well, sometimes you need to risk it to get a reward." Kurt mused only because he could think of no other response for the jackal across from him currently holding Blaines hand.

"I agree." Sebastian purred again. "I'm a personal fan of taking risks, myself."

He winked at Kurt who had to fight not to recoil from it. _What game is he playing at now? _Kurt wondered but looked back at Blaine who was the only person Kurt thought really mattered.

The three boys continued talking for nearly an hour and from an outside perspective it could almost seem as if they were a trio of friends rather than the two separated lovers and snake-in-disguise that Kurt viewed them as.

"I have to be going." Blaine said suddenly, looking at his phone to see two missed calls from his mother. "Sebastian, did you want to leave with me or do you have something else?"

"I'd actually love to stay here and get to know Kurt a little better, but I will call you tonight." Sebastian promised, kissing Blaine once more.

"Alright." Blaine smiled, then looked at Kurt and said, "Sorry I have to go. My brother is coming home for a couple days and my mom wants us to pick him up at the airport. It was great spending time with you. Text me and we can hang out again."

"I will." Kurt smiled through clenched teeth knowing that in a moment he'd be sitting alone with the boy he hated who'd been deluded into thinking he had any right to touch Blaine. He was fairly certain that Sebastian's wanting to stay behind had something to do with a warning for Kurt to stay away from Blaine, and just as Sebastian had with him, he would state how little Sebastian deserved Blaine and his intentions to win him over.

They did not speak until the door had closed behind Blaine and to Kurts great discomfort, the boy smiled at him just as friendly as he had when Blaine was there and asked, "do you ever work with your dad at the shop?"

"Not really." Kurt mumbled.

"Damn, I imagine working with cars would be pretty hot." Sebastian grinned before his face turned a little more serious. "Nothing about you strikes me as sexually threatening, Kurt."

"Thank you?"

"It wasn't a compliment but you're welcome." Sebastian mused, "yet there is something inside me that tells me maybe I should be worried about your intentions with my boyfriend. I'm sure I must be crazy,"

"You are." Kurt answered immediately and confidently, not because he didn't intend to go after Blaine and proudly, but because he thought Sebastian was crazy.

Sebastian laughed though, and seemed suddenly a little more relaxed. "I'll admit Kurt, I have definately enjoyed some fun times, and Blaine will certainly not be my first, but I haven't genuinely wanted someone the way I want him and I can assure you I will not let someone into our lives if they indent to take him from me."

"Careful, Sebastian, that almost sounds possessive." Kurt warned.

"It's not." Sebastian replied, then smiled a little more. "But now that we are a little more clear, would you like to go for a walk with me?"

Kurt wanted to roll his eyes and ask Sebastian what was wrong with him but he didn't and instead said, "I have to go too, actually. My dad wants me to help him prepare for a family dinner."

It was a lie and one Kurt struggled to form as he spoke but it worked well enough.

"Oh, that's a shame." But Sebastian never lost him sly smile. "Well, it was very nice meeting you. I hope to see you again sometime."

Kurt gathered his things rather quick and was ready to go by the time Sebastian had stopped talking. He offered Sebastian one last forced smile and walked out to his car.

At about 9pm while Kurt was preparing for bed he received a text from Blaine and they continued to talk until they fell asleep. Not in the same way they had when they were dating but in the friendliest way Kurt could manage so that he didn't scare Blaine away. A few times during the night Kurt thought about what Sebastian had said to Blaine that had annoyed Kurt so much back when the roles had been reversed so that he didn't have to deal with Sebastian's jealousy. Although he wanted to make Sebastian unhappy, he didn't doubt he would be successful in blocking Kurt's budding friendship with Blaine. Kurt had no hold or claim on Blaine that could challenge his new boyfriend.

He also considered everything Blaine had ever told him he'd found secretly appealing about Kurt while they were friends and tried his best to incorporate those things. It felt almost like a job more than a budding romance, but at least he had the memory from their first time around so that if the universe didn't correct himself, he wouldn't have any unpleasant feelings about how intensely he was trying to woo Blaine.

Kurt and Blaine texted throughout the week and made plans for a movie night on Friday. Kurt told Blaine they'd watch anything he wanted because he wanted to make sure Blaine felt comfortable and happy. Kurt didn't even mind if Blaine decided they would watch the entire Star Wars saga or transformers or something, Kurt would be happy with it because he got to spend the time with Blaine.

Finn had a date, with whom Kurt had been too occupied to care. He knew how that story ended anyways and just wanted Finn to be happy for the remainder of his time. Kurt had also bought Burt and Carol a romantic night at a hotel to get them out of the house. He pretended it was for a minor anniversary he was surprised they didn't remember.

Then he'd filled his living room with all of the best movie snacks, and all Blaines favorite snacks, including cronuts he'd had to drive three hours to find. He would have made them but he wanted to make sure they were perfect and he'd never really learned how to make them. This wouldn't be the best time to experiment. He also ordered Blaine's favorite pizza which arrived ten minutes after Blaine was meant to. He put it in the oven to keep it warm and nervously returned to the living room to wait. Kurt decorated the living room the best he could for his little party of two and waited anxiously on the ready couch for Blaine to arrive.

Kurts heart fluttered as he raced to the door and found Blaine looking guilty and upset.

"Hi." Kurt went from excited to worried in an instant but then Blaine started apologizing so Kurt assumed his expression was in response to his tardiness.

"I'm so, so-so sorry I'm late. Really, Kurt." Blaine gushed as Kurt lured him into the house. "And I _really_ hope you do not mind, but I brought Sebastian."

_Blaine, it is incredibly rude to show up fifteen minutes late with an extra guest. Especially one the host despises,_ Kurt thought, _if I didn't already love you, this might be a deal breaker._

"Oh." Kurt forced an artificial smile. "Of course not. More the merrier. Where is he?" Kurt looked out the door but didn't see Sebastian.

"He's parking." Blaine answered exhaustively then breathed as he removed his coat, "We had a bit of a fight."

"Oh no," Kurt gasped. "Nothing serious I hope."

"No, I don't think so, it smells good, what is that?" Blaine asked, perking up a little as he ventured further from the door.

"Pizza. I haven't eaten yet and I figured everyone likes pizza." Kurt shrugged, then jumped a little as Sebastian arrived at the door. Unlike Blaine, he did not seem at all phased by his forced intrusion.

"Mm, it smells good. Pizza?" Sebastian wondered.

"Yes." Kurt glared. "Please, come on in."

"I brought a couple movies." Blaine said as Sebastian handed his coat to Kurt to hang up. "I got ones I thought you'd like."

"That's very thoughtful, Blaine, but I wanted you to choose." Kurt smiled as he walked to get the pizza.

"Well, I sort of did." Blaine replied following. "I ordered them from what I wanted to watch most to least. You can choose from that list, though."

"How many?" Kurt wondered.

"Just three," Blaine glanced over Kurts shoulder as he bent to get the pizza. "What kind is that?"

"Your favorite." Kurt answered mindlessly. Then he froze, slightly panicked as Blaine laughed and walked to open the box.

"No way, that _is_ my favorite." Blaine laughed in surprise.

"Oh, mine too." Kurt lied with a smile. "What movie did you choose first?"

"Moulin Rouge." Blaine answered surprising Kurt.

"Why?" Was Kurts response.

Blaine looked nervous suddenly, and carefully answered. "Well... I... thought you'd like it the most."

"Yea-yes! Of course I do like it." Kurt stammered. "I'm just so surprised you would guess that."

"And you guessed my favorite pizza." Blaine laughed, but picking a common pizza and a movie out of a billion was not the same, Kurt thought. "I do hope you don't mind but it's the 2001 version and not the original." Kurt was somewhat disappointed but also very happy at the same time. "It was the only one I owned."

"I am completely happy with it." Kurt tried to remain calm despite the amount of love he felt towards Blaine in that moment. He knew Blaine didn't have the same memories that he did, and was still closeted to his feelings for Kurt, perhaps even more now with Sebastian in the way, but Kurt felt suddenly free to hope.

A part of him wanted to imagine that Blaine had also been somehow sent back into 2009 and was trying to win him back the same way Kurt was, but Blaine wouldn't have taken so long and he wouldn't have done it with Sebastian on his arm.

"Let's go watch." The clear excitement on Kurts face made Blaine smile with pride as he followed Kurt into the living room. "Wow."

"This is a very nice set up you have here." Sebastian praised from where he was sitting on the couch. "Do you go all out for all your new friends."

"I'll go this far out for myself." Kurt answered in a sour tone. "Some people like to make things special."

"What are those?" Blaine wondered pointing at a cronut as he took a seat on the couch next to Sebastian who responded by putting an arm around Blaines shoulder. Kurt has to pretend he didn't care as he put the DVD into the TV.

"Cronuts." Kurt answered. "Try one. I'm sure you'll like it."

Kurt took a seat on the other side of Blaine as Blaine took a bite of the cronut. Kurt watched him in carefully displayed awe, only because he'd never actually seen Blaine eat them like a normal human before. Usually he was inhaling three or four at a time.

"Oh my god." Blaine groaned with his mouth full as Kurt started playing the movie. "Oh my..."

"I'm glad you like it." Kurt smiled as Blaine began to shove the entire cronut in his mouth.

"Wow, you can fit a lot in there." Sebastian noted with a small hint of surprise that filled Kurt with happiness. Blaine couldn't have put out that much if that surprised him. Which means Sebastian had been so far unsuccessful at pressuring Blaine, as Kurt was certain he was.

"I am glad you like them." Kurt smiled, then he lied once more which he wanted to kick himself for, "My step-mom brought these back from a trip and I've liked them ever since."

"I don't need sex." Blaine decided after swallowing and taking another. "These are an orgasm."

"Wow, thank you Kurt." Sebastian laughed but there was a tension in his voice that Kurt wanted to understand better.

"I have a few recipes for cronuts that I've been wanting to try if you wanted to join me sometime in making." Kurt suggested. "Or you could just be my taste tester."

"I will accept both invitations." Blaine spoke with him mouth full once more.

"Let's watch the movie, guys." Sebastian snapped and they all did.

They watched and Kurt could feel the tension like it was a train hitting him at full speed. He wasn't sure whose tension it was or where it came from, but it made the movie difficult to follow. When it was over, Kurt said, "That was nice. Would you like to watch one more?"

"Sure!" Blaine smiled willingly, then looked down in disappointment at the empty box of cronuts in front of him. _Blaine, I bought 16 and I ate one. I'm not sure whether Sebastian had any._ Kurt thought but wouldn't voice it, even if he was back in 2014.

Sebastian looked tired, bored, and annoyed by Blaine's answer as he stood up and started walking in a small circle, so Kurt said to him, "You do not have to stay for another if you are not in the mood."

Sebastian gave him a cold look before hiding it behind his sly smile. "I've just been sitting a long time. I am used to being fairly active. I do not mind staying if that is what Blaine wants."

"You don't have to stay for me if you don't want." Blaine said. "Kurt can drive me home later."

_Or you can stay the night, but I understand why you wouldn't tell Sebastian that part,_ Kurt thought watching them.

"I don't mind staying." Sebastian decided, disappointing Kurt.

"If you don't mind my asking," Kurt started as he grabbed another of Blaines movies and put a random one into the TV. "Why were you fighting before coming here?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and Sebastian looked annoyed but answered, "Have you seen those credit score commercials with that very sexy man who sings like an angel?"

"Y-yes?" Kurt asked and looked at Blaine who Kurt feared might start crying. But Blaine hardened his face and turned his expression from defeated depression to intense irritation. The commercial with Cooper Anderson, Blaines brother. That couldn't have been the fight. Unless, maybe Sebastian had met Cooper and it hadn't gone well.

Kurt remembered watching TV with Blaine before knowing Cooper was his brother, or even knowing his name, and telling Blaine that he would marry that man if he didn't have Blaine. Blaine hadn't agreed but he also hadn't started any sort of fight over it.

So it must have gone deeper than that.

"Well, we were at Dalton and-" Sebastian started but Blaine cut him off.

"Sebastian wants to make one of those lists of guys we're allowed to cheat on each other with." Blaine snapped.

"You agreed!" Sebastian groaned in annoyance.

"Only because we agreed to choose _celebrities_ that we would never actually meet!" Blaine argued loudly.

"The man from the commercial is a celebrity we will never actually meet." Sebastian tried.

_Sweet baby Jesus, what is going on right now?_ Kurt tried to keep any judgement or shock from his face as he watched them argue over something so... inappropriate. Had they really been dating long enough to create such a thing? It had taken Kurt and Blaine years to even consider having a _"I would cheat on you with..."_ celebrity conversation, and Blaine wasn't allowed to play that game anymore. He'd already picked his person and used up his chance.

"He's not a real celebrity and you _could_ meet him one day!" Blaine yelled.

"And you could meet Cyndy Lauper, but that doesn't mean you need to take her off your list."

"You chose Cyndy Lauper?" Kurt asked in surprise.

Blaine turned back to him and said, "Yes, because I wasn't taking my list that seriously but _he_ is and he wants to cheat on me with my-!" Blaine shook his head and stood up. "We're not playing this game. Neither of us gets a list. Infidelity is not a joke."

"I'm not making it a joke." Sebastian argued. "It is just for fun, many couples do it. That's why we chose celebrities."

"He is not a celebrity! He does mid-western commercials for a credit score company. He hasn't done anything that puts him at a level where he could go on the list!"

"He is a celebrity!" Sebastian fought.

"That man couldn't act to convince his parents he hadn't had a high school party." Blaine snapped, and Kurt wondered if that was a true story or just a rebuttal.

"You don't have to be an actor to be a celebrity!" Sebastian reminded.

"You do if you're a celebrity for your acting skills." Blaine replied.

"I can't believe we are having this conversation again. Why does it even matter? It's not as if I know the man." Then Sebastian grinned, "Only that I want to."

"Kurt, what would you do if the person you loved most cheated on you?" Blaine inquired suddenly looking at Kurt.

Kurt hesitated but thought about his current situation and answered, "a lot, apparently."

"Would it be okay just because the other person was in a couple commercials?" Blaine demanded.

"No." Kurt answered.

"But you have to admit that man is sex on a stick." Sebastian pushed.

"Yes, he is." Kurt nodded. "I can't imagine anyone wouldn't have a crush on him."

Sebastian gave Blaine a look as if he'd just proven something and Blaine looked like he was about to yell or throw punches but Kurt continued,

"And if I might say something, the man from the commercials is _very_ attractive and he _is_ very talented. He might not be an A-list celebrity but everyone knows his face, even if we don't know his name, and knows who we are talking about when we say the credit score commercial, so I would agree that he was a celebrity, but Blaine, I don't think you need to worry." Blaine looked a little sickened by what Kurt said and stood watching him unhappily with his arms tightly crossed over his chest. "I cannot speak for Sebastian but in my _personal_ opinion, there is no competition."

Blaine's face was curled up in disgust and a little sorrow so Kurt continued, never wanting Blaine to feel poorly about such a sensitive topic, "I can't imagine, in a real life situation, anyone would actually choose him over you, Blaine." Blaine seemed surprised by this but his face hadn't fully relaxed yet. "He is beautiful, yes, but you're real and you're interesting and kind, and every bit as talented as he is, even more if you ask me but don't tell him I said that." Blaine let a small smirk cross his lips but removed it just as quickly, "And you are both so attractive, and your features are too similar for anyone to say one of you is definitely more attractive than the other. Personally, and in a platonic way, don't worry, but I find you more attractive. Something about him just seems so... arrogant. And rude. So I am sure, no matter what list Sebastian might want to put him on, he has no intention of actually meeting him and sleeping with him. And even if he did, I'm sure he'd keep it in his pants."

Blaine thought for a moment then said, "I don't want any lists, Seb. And if you cheat on me, it's over."

Blaine started collecting some of the candy garbage around them and started leading towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Sebastian demanded.

"I'm going to throw this away then go to the washroom if that's okay with you." Blaine snapped and walked away.

"Wow." Kurt breathed.

"Unbelievable." Sebastian mumbled. "You understand it's just for fun, right Kurt?"

"I understand why someone might not want to do it though." Kurt responded.

Sebastian sat down, closer to Kurt now, and put his arm onto the back of the couch.

"I do too, it's just that..." He shook his head. "Blaine is beautiful. And he's talented and smart, in an _I get A's_ kind of way," Kurt wanted to slap him but remained composed, "and he's been all I've wanted since I first got to Dalton."

"But?"

"But I'm _still_ wanting." Sebastian groaned sliding a little closer to Kurt, making Kurt a little uncomfortable. "When I started dating him he was exciting and open to try so many interesting things but..., I didn't expect him to be such a _prude_."

_I'm going to kill him. I will bury his body in a tire yard and he can be found in six months after dogs find him for his bones._ Kurt thought.

"Everyone is free to move at their own pace." Kurt decided despite feeling extreme pride for his long lost fiance.

_I'm going to stab him in an important artery and let him bleed to death under the pile of tires. It will look like an accident._

"Are you ever curious, Kurt?" Sebastian asked lightly touching a piece of Kurts hair. Kurt paused for a short surprised moment and then reality crashed down on him.

_Is he _hitting _on me?!_ Kurt glanced over his shoulder quickly to where Blaine had left then back to Sebastian. The thought of Smyte anywhere near him made him sick, but Blaine had just said he'd leave Sebastian if he cheated on him. Maybe Sebastian was just challenging Blaines authority over him. Still, Kurt was very tempted by the chance to show Blaine what an awful person Sebastian really was.

No, Kurt decided, for two reasons. One, he couldn't stand the idea of hurting Blaine like that. He'd felt that pain before and he couldn't let Blaine suffer it. He might not show it, but he was far too insecure to survive a blow like that. Even from someone Kurt was sure he loved less than Kurt and Blaine loved each other.

Two, he knew he could never get with Blaine if Blaine associated him with disloyalty and causing his break up. And he never wanted to be that sort of rebound.

"Blaine is in the other room." Kurt warned with a dry mouth. "And he just said what would happen."

"Doesn't have to be now." Sebastian reminded.

"Doesn't have to be ever." Kurt said, standing up and walking to the kitchen to get them drinks.

Blaine had returned when he did and they quietly watched the movie. Sebastian sat with his hand on Blaines leg which made Kurt want to be sick, especially after a few minutes ago, but he took a breath and focused on the screen.

_Would anyone be surprised if Sebastian did coke or meth? Maybe I could give him a bad batch he could O.D._ on. Kurt shook his head and remembered his time with Blaine, the memories that would be now impossible to recreate. He would fix this, though. As fast as he could before anything else became irreplaceable.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading! Please let me know if you want me to continue quickly so I know whether I should prioritize this more as holidays come to an end.**

**I hope you have been enjoying and I would love to hear what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Seduction**

2009

Kurt had been extremely depressed when Blaine and Sebastian had left together. He was even more upset realizing that the main person he wanted to talk to about it was one of the boys involved.

Kurt was cleaning the living room when Finn returned. He sat in the living room and watched Kurt organize for a minute before asking, "fun night?"

"Not as fun as I would have liked." Kurt answered honestly whilst remembering the unpleasantness of having Sebastian on his couch.

"Were you being too pushy?" Finn wondered. Kurt froze where he stood holding used napkins and the pizza box, rolled his eyes and turned to face Finn.

"We're not that close, are we?" Kurt asked.

"What?" Finn asked. "We're _brothers_." He said the word as if it was a reminder rather than a familial connection. Kurt groaned and held back the urge to roll his eyes once more.

"We're not as close as we were." Kurt grumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Finn wondered. "We're closer than we have been."

"I'm going to tell you something." Kurt decided, putting the napkins into the box and taking a seat on the coffee table to face Finn. "It's going to sound crazy, And you probably won't believe me, but I need to tell someone and you're probably the safest person."

The only way Kurt could damage Finns future more would result in him staying alive, so Kurt was willing to take that risk. Plus, Kurt wasn't sure he was currently Finn's favorite person anyways.

"Did you and Blaine have sex?" Finn wondered, somewhat wide eyed. He wanted to be supportive of Kurt finding someone, especially since Kurt had decided to dedicate half his time to Finn over the past month or so, but he also wasn't sure he was ready to talk about two guys having sex.

"No... No, I wish, I haven't gone this long without in a _while_." Kurt mumbled, confusing Finn a bit. "No, I am going to tell you something you can't tell anyone else, even if you think I'm crazy."

"Alright, man, what is it?" Finn felt this conversation was getting uncomfortable. Not knowing what would come was torture.

"You can't tell Racheal. Especially not her."

"Just spit it out all ready!"

"I'm not this Kurt."

"What?" Finn didn't understand him well enough to be surprised or doubtful.

"I'm... Kurt but from the year 2014." Kurt explained.

"I don't understand. Are you writing a poem?" Finn asked. "Shouldn't it rhyme or something?"

"Finn, I really need you to listen to me and believe me." Kurt snapped. "Think of a movie or something with time travel if that makes it easier for you! I am from 2014 and somehow I woke up here in my old body which is still a little uncomfortable." He complained while pulling at his own skin and clothing as if to show his point, "and I _was_ having fun here but now I think I have screwed everything up. I'm being bullied worse than ever, I'm not strong enough to fight it anymore, I don't know if or how I'll ever get home, and I need to because I think I've lost Blaine."

"So wait, you're saying you're from the future?" Finn asked. "Dude that's sick, okay, who wins the next superbowl?"

"How the hell would I know that?" Kurt asked in an exhausted tone. "And how would you know if I was lying?"

"Well, my Kurt wouldn't know the answer or the stats to even guess." Finn answered.

"I don't either."

"What happens to me? Can you tell me? Or are there time travel rules?" Finn wondered. "Do I become a major football star? Which university drafts me? And who do I end up with? Racheal or Quinn, because honestly I'm hoping it's-"

"Finn." Kurt snapped. "I'm making this all up as I go along, but I feel like I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Wait, what are you making up? Are you not really from the future?"

_What is happening right now?_ "No, I'm from the future. But I'm scared that if I tell you what's supposed to happen, I will wreck it more."

"What have you wrecked?" Finn wondered.

"At this point the first time, I was dating Blaine and we both went to Dalton academy, and I think Santana was fake-dating Korofsky to make Brit jealous or something, I don't remember and I've been avoiding seeing what exactly I've changed at McKinley just by being there, and bullying was down at McKinnley but now it's only worse and no one seems to believe me anymore, apparently because I've matured too much to let things bother me too easily, but they do bother me. This entire thing bothers me, and I miss my best friend and my fiance and if I don't get him back, I think I might die."

"Woah, you're engaged?" Finn wondered. "Congratulations, who's the lucky guy?"

"Blaine." Kurt snapped.

"Where am I in this future?" Finn wondered.

"I probably can't tell you that."

"Why not? Did anyone give you a rule guide?"

"Finn." Kurt groaned.

"Sorry." Finn said. "This is just a lot to take in."

"I know, and I'm sorry." Kurt said. "I am just so happy you believe me."

"Yea, I mean, it makes sense." Finn said confusing Kurt because how could any of this make sense? "You haven't really been acting like yourself. And you stopped giving me the space we agreed on."

"I know." Kurt shook his head, "And I'm sorry. I've just... missed having you as my brother. We don't live in the same place anymore and I never get to see you."

"I'm sorry, man."

"It's not your fault."

"I promise that in the future I will do more to make sure we can spend time together." Finn vowed.

"You don't need to promise me that." Kurt decided. "Instead, could you help me convince my dad that I need to go to Dalton?"

"Bro, you can't go to Dalton. We need you for nationals."

"Santana will get me back, but we need to get me there soon so that she has enough time."

"Why do you need to go to Dalton?"

"So the bullying can minimize at Mckinnley and I can get Blaine back."

"Aren't you a little more concerned with the fact that you actually time traveled?"

"I've adjusted." Kurt answered shortly. "And now I don't want to go back until I fix things. I can't be without Blaine."

"I mean... I can tell Burt that I've noticed people bullying you." Finn agreed.

* * *

As agreed, Finn started pushing Burt and Carol to move Kurt to Dalton due to bullying and harassment. They seemed to take him more seriously than Kurt, likely because he acted as a witness. Burt also associated Kurts growing interest in working out as a reflection of his feeling inferior at school. It had been more of a habit he'd maintained in 2014 that he wasn't sure he wanted to lose if the bullying wasn't going to stop and he didn't have Blaine beside him to protect him.

It was only two more weeks before Burt and Carol had lost patience trying to deal with McKinnley and agreed to send Kurt to Dalton. Finn was still hesitant about this but stood strong in his sense that Kurt should be allowed to go if it made him feel safer. The glee club had not been happy about Kurts leaving but Finn kept repeating that it was what Kurt needed, especially after Kurt had allowed himself to be cornered by Korofsky so Korofsky could forcibly kiss him and threaten to kill him, since that had been his dad's final straw the first time. It appeared to be this time also.

Just like last time, he had gone to Blaine for support over it, but now as Dalton student rather than at McKinnley.

"I'm sorry you had to transfer." Blaine said as he walked him to his class. He'd insisted on helping Kurt find his classes since Dalton was big and he'd easily get lost. Kurt had willingly allowed it despite not needing the help. "But I am glad that you're here."

"I'm glad I am too." Kurt smiled. "Though, I know I will miss my McKinnley friends."

"You can still visit them, right?" Blaine thought.

"Yes, I can." Kurt smiled. "This is my class."

"Oh." Blaine blinked and looked at the door. "Sorry I wasn't even paying attention. Good eye."

Kurt smiled as if satisfied with himself, which he was.

"I will see you at lunch?" Blaine asked. "Do you want me to meet you here so I can show you the way?"

"I think I remember." Kurt answered honestly, then felt a small pang of regret when he saw the small hint of disappointment on Blaines face. "But if you want to walk me to be sure I do, I would be very happy with that as well."

Blaine smiled widely and said, "Of course! I will be here right after class. Okay?"

"Okay." Kurt smiled.

Although this started as a way for Blaine to help Kurt find his way around the school, after the first few days Blaine started doing this simply out of habit, and Kurt didn't argue or question it because he was too happy to spend the time with Kurt to threaten it.

One week after Kurts first day of Dalton, Kurt was on his way to his car when he was stopped near the outside gym door by Sebastian.

"Hello, Kurt." Sebastians smile made Kurts stomach turn a little.

"Sebastian." Kurt groaned. "Sorry, I can't really talk right now."

Kurt moved to step around him but Sebastian stepped into Kurt's way, blocking him.

"Why have you been avoiding me, Kurt?"

"You make me uncomfortable." Kurt answered honestly and without hesitation. "Extremely uncomfortable."

"Well, that's very strange." Sebastian mused. "Most guys wouldn't hesitate for a chance with me."

"I'm not most guys." Kurt snapped. He missed being taller and quietly wondered how Blaine lived at this height everyday without complaint. Confidently, too. "Can I go now?"

"Not until you let me know what about me doesn't interest you." Sebastian pushed. "So I can improve myself."

Kurt groaned and rolled his eyes and said, "You have a boyfriend. Would you break up with him to have me?"

"No." Sebastian answered without skipping a beat. "That would be like trading a brand new Tesla for a 1992 Honda civic. It wouldn't be a beneficial trade for me. But that hasn't stopped anyone before."

Kurt suddenly felt sick to his stomach and a little dizzy. Was this really happening? This couldn't be happening.

"Besides, the attention can't bother you that much if you haven't told Blaine."

Kurt tried to steady himself and speak without feeling like he was going to vomit. _Blaine. Blaine. Blaine._ But he was thinking about Blaine, that's what made him feel sick. How could someone treat him like this? "I haven't told Blaine because he seems to really like you and I didn't want to hurt his feelings." Kurt snapped with as much power as he could conjure. "But if this doesn't stop, I will tell him. Now get out of my way."

Kurt marched passed him and towards his car, trying to hold back the vomit he was sure was coming. He threw up behind his face, cleaned himself up in it and drove home.

Carol was home when he walked in and noticed him looking very pale as he raced up to his room.

She followed him quickly, and asked, "Are you okay, Kurt?"

"Yes." He answered grabbing his things to take a quick shower. "I'm just not feeling well."

"Did school go okay?" She pushed. "Are you liking it?"

"School is fine, I'm just not feeling well."

"Would you like me to make you some soup? Maybe you should stay home tomorrow. You look green." She followed him around a few steps behind to make sure he was okay.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, "But thank you, Carol. I'm just going to take a shower."

"Alright." She decided. "I will just be downstairs if you need me. And I will make soup. You don't have to have it but you can if you want."

"Thank you."

After his shower, he sat down and tried to study but found the task difficult through this busy mind. Should he tell Blaine what Sebastian was doing? He'd been so concerned with keeping Blaine happy with him, that he had stopped worrying about what would make Blaine happy. Carol had brought him the soup despite his insistence he didn't want or need it, but it tasted rather good and did help his stomach a lot.

A little after 8pm there was a knock on the door downstairs. Kurt had ignored it knowing there were three other people in the house who could answer it, until he heard a familiar voice muffled downstairs ask "Is Kurt home?"

Kurt sat up immediately and walked to his door to open it just in time for Blaine to come marching through with clenched fists, a face of intense focus, and hair that had been pulled at despite the gel.

Blaine stood in the room looking everywhere but at Kurt with a body so tense it was radiating anger. Kurt instinctively shut the door, keeping them both inside.

"Do you have something you want to tell me, Kurt?" Blaine snapped in a hostile tone.

"Um." Kurt couldn't even begin to think of what Blaine meant. He tried to remember what events were occurring now from memory. Maybe they'd done something the first time that he'd forgotten about now. Nothing crossed his mind, though._ We have only sung one duet since my going to Dalton. Maybe that's it... No, because he's been pretty damn happy singing with Sebastian, who is pitchy, might I add, and can't dance, and his little meerkat face..._

"Something about you and my boyfriend maybe?" Blaine clarified glaring hate-filled daggers at Kurt. His body was trembling and Kurt momentarily wondered if he'd ever seen Blaine so angry at anything. Certainly he'd been angry but it had never been directed at Kurt. When Kurt didn't answer, Blaine continued, working hard to keep his voice down so as not to alarm the rest of the household. "How about explaining to me why you were hitting on _my_ boyfriend."

Kurt gaped at him wide eyed for a second, his mouth dropping open in shock. "I didn't..." But he was too shocked to form full sentences.

"What the hell, Kurt?!" Blaine snapped. "I thought you were my friend! Yet here you are trying to take the one person who makes me really happy away from me! Why? What did I do wrong?"

That woke Kurt up a little, he shook his head a bit and said, "I'm not trying to take your boyfriend from you. I would never do that!"

"Give it up, Kurt." Blaine spat. "He told me. _Everything_. You've been trying to get into his pants since day one, _admit it_!"

"No I haven't!" Kurt defended. "I have less than no interest in him." _Not even as a friend._

"Oh really?" Blaine snapped turning his head a little as he openly doubted Kurt. "So you didn't ask him if he'd leave me for you?"

Kurt froze for a second but replied, "not in that context."

Blaine stepped forward then and pushed Kurt back by the shoulders in an effort to knock him over. "Sebastian is mine, not yours. If you come near him again, I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell."

_This is a living hell._

"Blaine." Kurt snapped as Blaine turned to leave. Kurt grabbed him by the arm to stop him, turning him so he wouldn't leave yet. Blaine lifted his arm as if he meant to hit Kurt but Kurt grabbed his other arm fast enough to stop him. "Blaine, you have to believe me."

"Why should I?!" Blaine demanded pulling himself out of Kurts grasp with force. "I did believe you! I _trusted_ you! Why would you do this? Why _Sebastian_? Out of everyone else you could have had... Why him?! _Why_? You're a catch, Kurt! Any guy would be so lucky to have you, why Sebastian?!"

"I do not want Sebastian!" Kurt snapped.

"What did I do wrong, Kurt?" Blaine looked like he might start crying as he once more pulled at his hair. "Why would you do this to me?"

"Blaine, I didn't do anything!" Kurt argued. "Sebastian's a liar! He's been coming onto me since we met!"

"Funny how he said the exact same thing about you." Blaine spat. "You know, screw you, Kurt. I regret having met you."

"Blaine, stop." Kurt ordered grabbing Blaine once more but this time Blaine pushed Kurt away with ease, then tripped him so he would fall back but Kurt was faster and knew this trick from many days and nights with Blaine. Usually, his intentions were more sexual, but it didn't stop Kurt from almost instinctively grabbing Blaine and pulling him under him so they both fell onto the bed.

"Get off me you ass!" Blaine grumbled as he attempted to push Kurt off of him. Kurt knew how to wrestle Blaine and hold him down. Again, it was usually done in a consensual, sexy way but the skills transferred. Blaine thrashed a little more before getting uncomfortable enough to want to stay still. He was not unaware of Kurts body pressing him into the bed. "I trusted you! I _defended_ you! I said there was no way-_No way_-Kurt would do this to me. He wouldn't, not _Sebastian_, but you really said it, how could you!?"

"Blaine, you need to listen to me." Kurt snapped ignoring Blaines attempts to get out from under him. When he stopped fighting, he looked up at Kurt in shocked awe that he'd managed to pin him. "I am not lying to you. I don't want Sebastian. I hate Sebastian. I think he's the worst person I've ever met."

"That doesn't stop you from spending time with him." Blaine noted in annoyance that Kurt was still on top of him. He squirmed a bit but the feeling of Kurt pressing so deep into him as he moved under him was sending sensations through his body that he knew he shouldn't be feeling, especially now.

"I only tolerate him for _you_!" Kurt stated. "I'd be happy if I never saw his lying, manipulative, meerkat face ever again!"

"You're saying that so you can see him." Blaine accused but Kurt noticed the twinkle of hope in Blaines eyes that maybe this was just a very big misunderstanding.

"I would be happy to never see him again." Kurt replied. "So long as I could still see you."

"Then why would you ask him to break up with me for you?" Blaine wondered with accusation still strong in his voice.

Kurt didn't have a chance to answer because his dad walked in and said, "Uh... Kurt?"

Both boys looked over to Burt who stood awkwardly tall at the door, clearly expecting the boys to pick up on the hint that whatever they were doing needed to stop.

Blaine pushed Kurt off of him and this time Kurt let him. Blaine didn't say anything as he marched angrily out of the room, and probably the house.

"W-what was that about?" Burt wondered, but Kurt wasn't sure he could handle anymore arguments, accusations, or judgments for the night, and he didn't feel ready for a lecture. He realized as he sat up in his bed and looked at Burt that Blaine had probably never lectured Burt about giving Kurt the sex talk so this would be even more awkward for Burt who'd never even considered giving Kurt sexual advice or warnings.

_It was touching but I don't think I want to have that discussion again. Maybe I can just tell him the internet taught me everything._ But the moment had allowed them to bond in a way he found special, so maybe he should let Burt teach him.

"We were just having an argument." Kurt answered dully.

"Uh-huh... I used to have those arguments with your mom. Nine months later you came into the world."

"Gross, dad." Kurt complained.

"I didn't think I'd have to tell you this, maybe I should have, but you can't be playing those sorts of games with guys. Sex isn't a joke son, even with a guy."

"We weren't having sex." Kurt snapped with more irritation than he'd intended because he very much so wanted to have sex with Blaine again. He'd been deprived of his touch too long and oh-too-well remembered what it felt like to be inside him, or have Blaine inside him and he was really sure he needed that now. And the connection. He missed simply laying next to him and being free to kiss him whenever he felt the urge.

"I'm just saying, Kurt." Burt warned.

"Can we please have this conversation another time?" Kurt wondered. "I'm not in the mood right now."

"Alright." Kurt surrendered, probably from fear of discussing something he didn't understand. "But we will be talking about this later."

"Fine." Kurt groaned and rolled deeper into his bed.

Burt hesitated to leave, then asked, "I came here to make sure everything was okay. We heard a bit of shouting."

"We're fine." He determined. "It was just an argument."

"Was Dalton a bad idea?" Burt almost sounded hopeful.

"No." Kurt answered immediately.

"Well... that's all that matters, I guess."

Kurt struggled to sleep that night. He was too far lost in his thoughts of Blaine and their past. How could he win him back?

* * *

The next day Kurt slunk to school not wanting to see anyone. Maybe it was feeling rejected by Blaine, but he felt suddenly like an unwelcome intruder. He sat with a couple friends at lunch but none of the Warblers sat with him. He didn't know if this was because Sebastian and Blaine had told them or simply because they knew Sebastian and Blaine better, but Kurt felt heart broken all the same.

A couple days passed before Blaine finally spoke to Kurt again. At lunch, Blaine took mercy on him and came to sit with him, with Sebastian watching Kurt smugly while on Blaines tail.

"We've discussed it." Blaine determined as he took a seat beside Kurt and Sebastian took a seat beside Blaine. "And I still don't think you'd have tried to hurt me."

"I wouldn't!" Kurt agreed.

"It's a misunderstanding." Blaine nodded.

"I told Blaine I was willing to forgive you if you vowed to never attempt to break us up again." Sebastian explained suddenly with a threatening tone that only Kurt could detect. He was trying to show Kurt where he stood in the relationship, and it wasn't before Sebastian.

Kurt hesitated and looked to Blaine who watched him careful and hopefully.

"Alright." he finally decided.

"Good." Blaine smiled a little. "Then we can all put this behind us and move forward."

"How about to celebrate we check out this bar downtown tonight." Sebastian suggested.

"A bar." Kurt repeated in disapproval remembering the last time Sebastian had convinced them to go to a bar in high school. But this time, rather than consider Kurts answer before agreeing, Blaine smiled and jumped right on board.

"That sounds like an excellent idea!" Blaine smiled looking at Kurt with the expectation that he would agree.

"I... don't have a fake ID." He answered still thinking about him and Blaine in the back of the car. _I need to go,_ he decided_, to stop Blaine from doing something he will always regret._

Sebastian offered a smug grin but Blaine answered, "That's alright, Sebastian will get you one."

Sebastian lost his grin then and glared for a moment but eventually said, "Yes. I'll get you one."

Kurt was hesitant still, not trusting that Sebastian wouldn't try to have him arrested but Blaine came before that and needed to be protected.

"Alright." Kurt decided for no reason other than to babysit drunk Blaine.

Blaine smiled in excitement, patted Kurts back, and started talking about how excited he was while Sebastian and Kurt began a threatening staring contest that didn't stop until the bell rang.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please review for a faster update! :) :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Intoxicated**

2009

Kurt examined the fake ID Sebastian had gotten him in less than a day with intense scrutiny, looking for any sign that it might be fake and lead to his arrest.

"It's fine." Blaine promised. "See, I have one too."

Kurt, although fairly certain he did not want to go watch Blaine and Sebastian as a real couple, also remembered how intimate and willing Blaine could be while intoxicated, and didn't want to leave him prey to Sebastian. Sebastian, when Blaine was away, had once again cornered Kurt and threatened to ruin Kurts friendship with Blaine. Kurt then informed him that he'd rather lose Blaine forever than continue letting him be with someone who treated him so poorly.

Sebastian was unimpressed and after a few short words were passed through them, they separated.

Blaine grabbed Kurt by the hand and dragged him behind him towards the bar door, only letting go once they were inside. Just as they always had, they got in rather easily and Sebastian led them straight to the bar.

"What are you drinking, Kurt?" Sebastian wondered.

"Water." Kurt answered coolly.

"Water?" Sebastian mocked. "How sexy."

"It's fine." Blaine smiled. "At least we have a DD, right?"

"Yeah, sure, if we want to leave at midnight before his bedtime." Sebastian continued then said, "I'm kidding, of course, Kurt."

Kurt offered him a stiff smile but didn't reply.

When they'd had a couple drinks, the Blaine and Sebastian went out to the floor. Kurt had meant to but couldn't stomach the idea of watching them dance together. _At least I am fairly certain I won't have to see Korofsky here._

"Alone tonight?" Kurt turned to a surprisingly attractive man, probably somewhere in his mid-20's, with longer dark hair and bright blue eyes. "I can give you some company."

Kurt was going to argue that it probably wasn't appropriate for him to be with Kurt who was supposed to be a teenage, at least physically, but then he remembered that anyone in the bar was supposed to be 21. Plus, it wasn't like they were doing anything wrong. And Blaine certainly wouldn't mind. He was too busy with Sebastian.

_I haven't been with a single person since this whole thing has happened. And I mean... we don't have to have sex, but even if we do, I'm not currently with Blaine, and he _did _cheat on me once anyways, so this would just make us even. Plus, he has Sebastian._

"I would love that." Kurt smiled while trying to be his most attractive self. "I'm not completely alone, I came with friends." He pointed to Blaine who was dancing with Sebastian. "Or _a_ friend and his boyfriend."

"And they left you here all alone?" The man laughed.

"I left myself." Kurt clarified then paused and touched the man's shoulder. "Would you like to dance?"

"I would absolutely love to." He agreed letting Kurt take his hand and pull him to the floor. He wasn't sure how long they danced, the songs were in a constant flux of DJ mash-ups, and he wasn't checking his phone, but he was having enough fun that he was almost able to forget about Blaine dancing a few feet away with another guy.

Kurt was enjoying his time with the man, letting his hands touch his hips then push a little bit up his shirt to feel the man's rock hard abs. "Are you serious?" Kurt asked over the music. "How is this real?"

The man grinned and started exploring Kurts body also. Kurt had grown more confident in his body in 2014 but still hadn't maintained the same level of confidence in this time so he wasn't sure he liked the idea of being touched, but he had been missing the contact. _You've been working out. Don't worry. You're not as scrawny as you were._ He wished he had a shot or something to relax him a little but sobriety was important. He was there to protect Blaine.

They continued to dance getting closer and closer as he contemplated bringing the man home... No, he couldn't take him home, but they could go to his place. Even a bathroom was looking nice, and Kurt wondered momentarily where his inhibitions had gone.

He only separated from the man when an arm was put between them. Kurt looked over in aggitation but relaxed when he saw it was Blaine looking rather woozy.

"Blaine?"

"I think... I need you to come with me."

"Why, I'm in the middle of something."

Blaine looked up at the man, almost a foot taller than both of them, with perfectly sculpted features and breathtakingly blue eyes. Kurt wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, or his annoyance that Kurt didn't immediately come when he called for one, or something else, but Blaine gave the man a sharp, disapproving glare and a face another drunk person might confuse for a desire to fight.

"Blaine." Kurt snapped taking a step back from the man.

Blaine looked back at Kurt, his face still woozy. "I need... I need you to come to the bathroom and hold my hair back."

"I think you're gel will do that." Kurt noted.

"Kurt." Blaine whined and made large puppy-dog like eyes that Kurt couldn't help but surrender to.

"I'll be right back." Kurt groaned and the man laughed but nodded. Then Kurt allowed Blaine to drag him into the washroom where he went into a stall and lowered to his knees while leaning over a toilet.

Kurt walked in behind him and listened patiently as Blaine tried to make himself throw up. Nothing came. Kurt willingly wiped some of the sweat from Blaines forehead into his hair as if to help keep his hair from becoming a mess. It was a pointless task, he knew, but he was always willing for an opportunity to touch Blaine.

"I-I-I'm sorry." Blaine choked as he tried to eject the poison he'd been drinking. "You wer-word having fun with _that guy_ and I w-wrecked it."

"You didn't wreck anything." Kurt promised. "He'll still be out there when you're done... where's Sebastian?"

"_Ugh_..." Kurt wished his was making that sound in response to Sebastian but it was his trying to get out the alcohol. "He's getting us more drinks. He keepes getting us m-more drinks. I'm-I can't drink this-is much, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is that guy?" Blaine wondered, not slurring his words for a moment. "The one you're were dancing with?"

"I don't know yet, but I'd like to." Kurt smirked a little realizing that he talking about wanting another man with Blaine, and Blaine had no reason to argue or complain.

"You seemed to like him." Blaine noted still trying to look up at Kurt who kept turning his head down. He rarely got drunk enough to really screw up his words or feel sick. "Why do you like _him_?"

"He is very attractive." Kurt mused.

"And tall. Both Sebastian and him are tall. Is _that_ what you like, Kurt? _Tall guys?_" Blaine somehow seemed to make it sound like an accusation despite his slurring.

"I'm still growing, Blaine." Kurt noted. "They won't be that tall to me forever."

"You know, have you ever had sex? Because-Become-Cause you shouldn't have sex with a man you don't know. It's not clean. Or safe."

"I haven't." Kurt acknowledged because in 2009 he hadn't. "But I understand what I'm doing."

"Y-you're too young to undersand- -to understand, Kurt." Blaine snapped. "Be careful I'm sorry, I'm being so gross. I didn't want you to see me this way."

"I've seen worse." Kurt admitted, but omitted the part where Blaine was where he'd seen worse.

"I love you, Kurt." He groaned and lean back against Kurts legs looking up at him Kurt put a hand on his cheek and smiled in amusement. "Y-ou're my b-best friend. You know?"

"Tell me in the morning." Kurt suggested feeling a pang of pain inside him. _I want Blaine. No one else._

"I will." Blaine nodded closing his eyes as he leaned down heavier onto Kurt.

"Alright, get up." Kurt snapped, picking up Blaine by his armpits with minimal help from Blaine. "I'm taking you home before you pass out."

"I can't... I canna go home, my dad is home." Kurt didn't have to wonder what that meant. Blaine's mom was more accepting of Blaine going to a party and getting drunk. She didn't like it, but so long as he was safe she was okay. Plus, she'd probably sleep through his getting home so she wouldn't even notice. His dad was a completely different story. If Blaine wobbled in and hit absolutely nothing on his way to his room, his dad would be woken up and be _very_ unhappy that his son had come home drunk at midnight. Blaine would probably be grounded for months.

"What was your plan then?" Kurt demanded, then decided he didn't want to know. It probably involved Sebastian. That was probably why Sebastian was getting him so drunk.

Kurt dragged him out of the bathroom, supporting half his weight to do so. He took him to Sebastian first, who was talking with another attractive guy, less attractive than Kurt's, Kurt noted internally.

"Blaine needs to go home." Kurt said, already knowing Sebastian's affinity for staying out till the lights came on.

Sebastian, as Kurt suspected, was not impressed. "We just got here. It's not even 11."

"He can hardly stand up." Kurt noted.

"Imma-garb-a-baba." Blaine grumbled.

"I don't know what that means, but it's time for you to take him home." This was a gamble but one Kurt felt strongly about. Especially if he said the right things, Sebastians evil, manipulative nature would take over. "He needs to be in his own bed now."

Kurt was right. Sebastians eyebrow lifted slightly as the thought of Kurt taking Blaine home to get castrated by his father for showing up drunk was too opportune. Blaine would be so angry at Kurt the next day, Sebastian thought at least.

"Alright." Sebastian smiled. "I trust you. Take him home."

"You're not coming?" Kurt demanded as if insulted.

"I will take a cab home. He's safe with you, right?" Sebastian smirked.

"Fine." Kurt spat and started to lead Blaine outside.

"Wait!" Kurt froze when Sebastian spoke from behind him. "Just wait for me. Fifteen minutes."

"Why?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

There was nothing malicious or evil in Sebastians expression when Kurt turned to look at him. "Blaine planned to come to my house after. That's what he'd want to do."

"Alright." Kurt said feeling his stomach and heart drop.

"Fifteen minutes." Sebastian repeated. Kurt nodded and turned back for the door.

The moment they touched the fresh air Blaine picked up some of his weight and started walking more on his own as he leaned into Kurt.

"Jurt, you're m-y h-hero."

"uh-huh." Kurt nodded. "Get in the back of the car."

"No, why?" Blaine demanded.

"We're going."

"Not yet, I'm not done." Blaine argued.

"You can't even walk!"

"I'm faking. I just wanted to get you alone."

"Why?" Kurt demanded but was answered when Blaine grabbed him roughly by the cheeks and pulled him forward so that they were sharing a sloppy, drunken kiss. Blaine then wrapped his arms around Kurts neck and started leading him into the back of the car. Blaine was sloppy and unorganized in his drunken state so Kurts willingness was the only reason for his success.

Kurt centered himself over Blaines body as they kissed deeply and passionately. Kurt was just happy for that much as Blaine started thrusting his hips up into Kurt and began pulling at his clothing. It took Kurt a moment to remember what was wrong about this situation. He pulled away suddenly, listening pleasantly to the groan of disappointment that left Blaines lips as a result.

"You have a boyfriend." Kurt reminded.

"He's not here." Blaine argued as he tried to pull Kurt back to him. It was difficult for Kurt to fight him. Two sets of desires told him he should. His future self who knew what they meant to each other and saw nothing wrong with them speeding the process up, and his past self who was just so happy that Blaine appeared to really want him.

"Sebastian is inside." Kurt continued, leaning down to kiss Blaines neck a few times. Blaine moaned loudly as his fingers curled into Kurts hair in a weak attempt to hold him there. Kurt used all of his strength to pull away. He kissed Blaine once more on the lips then moved to sit up.

"He won't ever need to know" Blaine tried to pull Kurt back down to him.

"This is a very interesting side of you, and if and when I ever get back to my time, we will definitely be discussing it but for right now, Blaine, you are drunk and your boyfriend is inside and I cannot imagine you wouldn't regret this in the morning."

Blaine rolled his eyes and groaned loudly. "I won't regret it Kurt. I'm sure."

_So am I but that's not the point._

"I won't take advantage of you." Kurt decided.

"Is it because I'm not _Sebastian_?" Blaine snapped in disgust.

"What?"

"Why did you choose Sebastian over me?" Blaine wondered in sorrow. "What was wrong with me?"

"N-nothing." Kurt felt his pants starting to get tighter and found it extremely difficult not to cave into Blaine's requests. "But you have a boyfriend and you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you destroyed that."

"Sometimes I think... I sometimes I wish I met you first." Blaine stated. "We're a better match, don't you think? We get each other _so_ well and I... You're my best friend, Kurt. Sebastian is so _judgey_."

"Blaine." Kurt tried to find fresh air to breathe but found it impossible to smell anything other than alcohol and Blaine. He needed air to think straight. "I will do anything and everything you want. But you have to be sober to request it."

"Come on, Kurt, I won't mind in the morning, I promise." Blaine begged trying to pull Kurt back down to him while wrapping his legs around Kurts hips.

"You're first time shouldn't be like this!" Kurt snapped, pulling away from him once more, but now being a little more successful because of Blaines surprise. Kurt remembered their friend time in a situation very similar to this one and didn't want to make the same mistake in angering Blaine. He couldn't go home with Sebastian like this. Kurt glanced over his shoulder and didn't see anyone so he continued, "I really want you too, Blaine, but it isn't right like this."

Kurt pulled himself out of the car fully but stood blocking the entrance so Blaine couldn't escape. He didn't try to. Blaine sat up and looked up at Kurt with wide, curious eyes before reaching forward and attempting to unzip Kurts pants.

"Blaine stop!" Kurt ordered, pushing him away.

"Why!?"

"Because you have a boyfriend and it isn't me!" Kurt snapped. "And frankly, no matter how much I might have wanted this to happen, it is a little off-putting that you'd cheat on your boyfriend so easily and willingly."

"What's going on here?" Kurt turned and Blaines eyes widened to Sebastian as he walked towards the SUV with a skeptical look in his eye.

"Nothing." Kurt decided trying to unhook Blaines hands from where he'd tangled them in Kurts pants.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Sebastian spat grabbing Kurt by the collar and pinning him to the car. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

_I'm done with this dysfunctional relationship. It's clearly not meant to be, why am I enduring it? I can just wait for Blaine to realize his error in dating Sebastian. _"Can you get off me you narcissistic moron?" Kurt insisted, pushed Sebastian back. "Surprisingly, I was on your side, but every time I see you that gets more difficult."

"You were on my side, then why were you cornering my drunk boyfriend?" Sebastian demanded stepping closer again with clenched fists and a tense body. Unlike with Blaine, Kurt feared Sebastian might actually attack him.

"I put him in the car." Kurt snapped.

"Yeah it looked and sounded like that's what was going on."

Blaine was standing then and he put himself physically between Sebastian and Kurt, falling back into Kurt a little unstable. Kurt was willing to catch him but wanted to focus on Sebastian.

"Stop yelling at Kurt." Blaine ordered. "He wasn't doing anything, I was. But let me tell you why..." Blaine started to tip sideways so Kurt leaned and pulled him back up straight where he started leaning once more, probably unknowingly, against Kurts chest as if he were trying to use the car for support. "Why are you n-ever h-happy with me? Huh? _Never_. Nothing I ever do is good enough f-or you why?"

"Blaine, this isn't a good time." Sebastian stated in a calmly irritated voice. "We'll discuss it at home."

"N-no, no, we won't." Blaine snapped, "And you know, I don't think I'm going home with you, I'll go with Kurt."

"_Umm."_ Kurt said loudly enough to be heard because he wasn't completely sure he wanted to be involved in this much longer. Blaine's willingness was starting to give him an uncomfortable anxiety and he had no way of knowing if it was because his body knew he was in love with Kurt, or maybe Blaine had problems deeper than Kurt knew about that had never really been addressed. He hoped this was an isolated incident but his mind told him to be realistic.

Blaine turned a little to glance at Kurt, "Yeah, I'm going to go home with you."

"You're not thinking straight." Sebastian noted.

"That's be-cause I'm gay!" Blaine snapped. "But you just won't accept me anyways. I'm tired of always being judged by you! '_Blaine, you were so pitchy, we need to work on that,_' or '_why is there so much gel in your hair_' or '_why didn't you gel today_' or '_Blaine, two times two isn't three,_' y-ou know s-some of us can't be perfect _all the time_! And why don't you ever let me see your phone? You demand to see mine constantly, _constantly_, but if I even glance at yours you act like I just broke a privacy law. What are you hiding from me? And another thing, why do we a-always have to be doing something? Why can't we ever just sit down and watch a movie? I like to relax."

"I'm sorry, can we talk about this later?" Sebastian hissed through clenched teeth.

"N-no! We never talk about it! I always smile and ignore it but today I realized you are _just_ like my brother and I don't know that I like that... Why did you have to get me so drunk?"

"It was an oversight. I will not do it again, can you please get in the car?"

"Yes." Blaine snapped. "But not with you!"

Kurt pushed Blaine back into the back of the car where he lay down groaning about being sick. After closing the door he turned back to Sebastian who gave him the darkest look he could manage before walking around the car and getting in the passenger side.

"Hey, I said you weren't coming." Blaine snapped.

"I'm not going to leave you drunk no matter how aggressive a drunk you may be." Sebastian rebutted.

"There he goes judging me again." Blaine groaned and fell back as Kurt began driving.

_Teens shouldn't drink._

"It's not a judgment, it's an observation." Sebastian clarified.

"Whatever."

Sebastian instructed Kurt on where to go but that was the only thing they said. When Kurt arrived at Sebastians house, Sebastian tried to bring a reluctant Blaine with him.

"I'm going with Kurt." Blaine snapped. "I need some space."

"Blaine, you need to get out of the car." Sebastian remained surprisingly calm, Kurt thought, as Blaine pushed him away.

"_Kurt_!" Blaine cried.

"I'll take him home." Kurt decided in an exhausted, dead voice, mentally wondering why he didn't keep dancing with the man from the bar. Let these two destruct their own relationship.

"Kay, he is _my_ boyfriend. He planned on coming to _my_ house, and that is what he will do." Sebastian snapped angrily at Kurt.

"I don't care what plans you had, I just want to go to bed, and if he won't get out, don't make him. If he ends up sleeping in my car and makes a mess, he will learn in the morning when he has to clean it up." Kurt snapped back. He hadn't left the drivers seat.

Sebastian hesitated but said, "Fine. But in the morning don't complain to me when you don't wake up where you expected to."

When Sebastian closed the door, and Kurt started driving again Blaine sat up in the back seat of the car and leaned forward, "I'm sorry Kurt."

"What are you sorry for?"

"You were having a really good night and I ruined it."

"You didn't ruin it."

"Yes I did." Blaine moaned. "I wrecked everything. You had a really attractive guy who was into you, and it looked like you liked him too but I got in the way."

_You get in the way of every relationship that's not with you._

"It wouldn't have worked out after he realized I was still in high school."

"I g-ot jealous and wrecked it." Blaine wailed.

A small hopeful smirk crossed Kurts face then. "Jealous? What were you jealous of?"

"I'm the most terrible person!" Blaine cried but Kurt wanted to stay on the topic of jealousy.

"What were you jealous of?"

"You know, McDonalds would be a great idea. Kurt, go to McDonalds!"

"You hate McDonalds."

"_Psh_, no one _hates_ McDonalds. Ew, but I saw this documentary... oh no. Are we going?"

"We'll see." Kurt answered as a calm _No, I want to go home._

"Thank you for doing this." Blaine said.

"Of course." Kurt replied. "Why were you jealous of the man from the bar?"

"Oh him, why were you dancing with him? You know, I'm closer to your age, right?"

"You're not single."

"Well, I probably will be tomorrow, so if you want to go out then." Blaine mused.

Kurt laughed in response. "I don't think I want to be a rebound."

"Y-ou could never be a r-rebound!"

"Does Sebastian make you happy?" Kurt decided to ask.

"Yes." Blaine answered immediately. "No... I don't know, it's nice having a boyfriend."

"But are you really happy with him?" Kurt insisted. "Would you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"We're a little young for that, don't you think? Those kinds of questions shouldn't be a-sked until we're like... thirty. Oh, look, McDonalds, oh no you missed it."

"My bad, maybe the next one." Kurt said, trying not to feel too much joy or irony in Blaines statement about them being too young to know. That was usually his argument. _Maybe this whole situation is the universe telling me I was right. Giving me a second chance. I don't doubt loving Blaine but maybe we were supposed to be older first. Experience other things._

"Why don't you have a boyfriend, Kurt?" Blaine wondered. "Then we could double date."

"I don't want to do that." Kurt decided.

"Sebastian's not that bad, I'm just drunk."

"Kurt, I'm your friend, right?" Blaine asked.

"Yes."

"Your best friend?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Very much."

"Oh good, because I love you too." Blaine smiled and attempted to hug Kurt over the seat.

"When we get to my house, are you coming in or are you staying in the car?"

"Can I come in?" Blaine wondered.

"Yes, but you have to be quiet."

"_Shhh_."

"Yes."

"I'm going to take a nap."

"You do that."

The rest of the ride was rather peaceful. Kurt quietly sang to the radio for the rest of the trip. When they got to his house, Blaine was asleep in the back of the car.

Kurt crawled in somewhat over him and tried to quietly wake him but he wouldn't.

"mmm, Sebastian." He moaned making Kurts heart stop and fill with the heaviest and sharpest lead.

"Wake up, Blaine." Kurt snapped because he was annoyed.

"Err, I love you."

"Get up." Kurt ordered, pulling him out of the car and catching him just before he could collapse on the ground. "You need to be quiet."

"Please don't hate me, Kurt." Blaine moaned.

"I can't hate you." _I'm trying_.

Kurt led him into the house where he immediately ran for the downstairs washroom and started throwing up. Kurt followed him and knelt down beside him lightly patting his back.

"I'm sorry." Blaine choked when he had the chances. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't feel sorry." Kurt whispered. "Just feel better."

"I'm disgusting." Blaine whined.

"It's natural don't worry." Kurt assured him still petting his back. He didn't have a nice way of saying he'd seen Blaine with food poisoning so this was nothing. That would sound too creepy to admit, he was sure.

Blaine sat back when he was fairly certain he was done and sloppily wiped his face on his arm. _Well, _that _shirt is coming off before touching my bed._

"Thank you for always being there for me." Blaine smiled weakly.

"Of course."

"Am I really your best friend?"

"You're my best friend."

"And your mine."

"I'm yours."

Blaine smiled then and closed his eyes as if satisfied to go to sleep.

"No, no, get up." Kurt ordered pulling him up from his armpits and shoving his head under the tap while he flushed the toilet one extra time.

Blaine groaned but obeyed, rinsing out his mouth the best he could.

When he was done he stood and turned off the water. "Feeling better?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded looking more drowsy than energetic now.

Kurt led him upstairs to his room, pleased with how quiet he managed to be. Then when in his room, closed the door behind them and started to remove Blaines shirt.

It was out of habit that Kurt didn't explain to Blaine what he was doing but Blaine seemed to trust him enough and allowed him to.

Kurt moved to replace Blaines shirt with one of his own but when he returned Blaine had fallen on his bed.

Kurt pulled off Blaines shoes and socks and put them in the corner of the room, then sat him up and slid on the shirt.

"You take good care of me." Blaine observed. "I have to go pee."

"Can you do that by yourself?"

Blaine nodded the cocked an eyebrow up at Kurt, "unless you want to help me with that too?"

Kurt shook his head and opened the door for Blaine. "Be quiet though."

"Shh."

Kurt returned to his room and started getting ready for bed. Blaine was back when he was done.

"Can I borrow pants?" He wondered with a small pout.

Kurt nodded and passed him pajama pants which he shamelessly changed into. Kurt had seen it many times before and was not shy to seeing him now but turned to give him the privacy that he thought he had.

Blaine got into the bed and after turning off the lights, Kurt got in beside him, his heart suddenly racing because the thing he'd once thought was so trivial was happening again as something unique and special. Even if it was only platonic. He was in bed with Blaine again. Nothing sexy needed to happen. Kurt was refreshed by his presence.

He hugged one of his pillows so that he wouldn't end up hugging Blaine and making him feel uncomfortable. He could control himself while awake but not while sleeping.

"Kurt?" Blaines voice was muffled by the pillows.

"Yeah."

"Would you really ask Sebastian to leave me for you?"

"No." Kurt answered sternly. "Never."

"Would you ever ask me to leave him for you?" Kurt hesitated then, his breath stuck in his throat. "Because I would if you asked."

"Would you?" Kurt was afraid to feel the amount of hope he felt then.

"Yes." He grumbled. "I wish you were my boyfriend. We make a much better team."

"I agree."

"Would you ask me?"

"Ask me again when you're sober."

"I'm sorry if you hate me."

"Why would I hate you?"

"I ruined your night with that guy."

"You ruined nothing."

"I'll make it up to you." Blaine vowed into his sleep.

"Will you?"

"Yeah, we'll have sex."

Kurt choked on his own air when Blaine said that.

"Best friend sex, don't worry."

"Let's talk about it in the morning." Kurt suggested.

"Okay. We'll have sex in the morning. Just remind me, I drank a lot." Blaine groaned. "I want to be..."

But then he was asleep. Kurt found it took him an hour to calm down his mind enough to sleep also, but when he did it was the most relaxing sleep he'd had in the last couple months. He hoped desperately that they would have morning sex because he missed every part of Blaine and after being so close with him in so many places, he really needed the release. And he'd been craving the contact since he lost it.

He woke up and rather than get up he watched Blaine sleep in an unruly mess of himself and blankets.

_Oh, I forgot, he likes to take all the blankets._

For the first few moments, Kurt had allowed himself to think he'd returned to 2014 and everything was fixed and he had Blaine back. This was his Blaine and this time he'd give him breakfast in bed and serenade him all he wanted and he wanted to make the day all about having Blaine but but then reality hit him when he realized they were in the same room as yesterday. Watching Blaine sleep was the most relaxing way to start any morning. He was so beautifully relaxed and calm, Kurt couldn't help but want to love him. He wanted to reach forward and touch him but he didn't want to disturb him. Kurt understood why Blaine always insisted on making him breakfast and making him comfortable and it made his heart ache, because right now he wanted to do everything in his power to show Blaine how perfect he thought he was and thank him for loving him.

But he didn't. Not now, and not in that way.

_When he wakes up he'll want Sebastian._ Kurt wanted to be angry at Blaine for his drunken behavior, and refuse to trust him due to his attempted infidelity again, but he couldn't. Nothing he could do could stop him from loving the boy in his bed.

He closed his eyes so he could soak in more of these moments and didn't get up until Finn came barging into his room with a request to borrow something red. Blaine was woken by this also but struggled to open his eyes to the light. He looked around until he spotted Finn, then Kurt. When he saw Kurt he relaxed and fell back into the bed.

"Dude... what...?" Finn asked motioning to Blaine.

"I'll explain later, get-" Kurt hissed but didn't want to want to disturb Blaine.

"Burt and my mom are downstairs." Finn whispered. "One of them will come up soon, and..."

"Take them somewhere." Kurt ordered. Finn became awkward for a moment but gave him a thumbs up and closed the door behind him.

"Sneaking me out of the house like a whore?" Blaine asked into the mattress.

"No, I..." Kurt hesitated then, remembering his fathers reaction the first time he caught Blaine in his bed after Racheals party. "It's just less awkward."

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make things awkward for you." Blaine turned a little so he could see Kurt.

"You're not. It's just my dad... probably doesn't feel comfortable with me having a boy sleep over."

Blaine narrowed his eyes and asked, "What did we do last night?"

"You don't remember?" Kurt wondered. Blaine shook his head slowly on top of the mattress. "We did nothing."

"Oh." Blaine smirked and rolled his face back into the bed. "That's probably a good thing."

"W-what do you remember?" Kurt wondered feeling a little awkward to ask but hopeful none-the-less.

"Besides the aching throbbing in my head?" Blaines voice was muffled by the sheets. He rolled a little to look at Kurt. "Not much... I remember you were dancing with that guy."

"Oh yeah." Kurt smiled fondly as if he'd forgotten. "I never told him we were leaving."

"Then everything goes blank." He groaned and started rubbing his head. "I think, anyways. Did I get into a fight with Sebastian?"

"I wouldn't call it a fight." Kurt mused.

"Oh no." Blaine groaned and rolled back into the bed. "What else did I do?"

"What do you think you remember?"

"Did we go to McDonalds?"

"No."

"Oh." Blaine blinked. "Because I thought we went to McDonalds."

"You asked."

They heard the door downstairs slam shut and Kurt was momentarily amazed that Finn had actually managed to get rid of their parents without alarming them.

"But we didn't go?"

"No." Kurt shook his head.

Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You said I was your best friend." Kurt mused, hoping that might not be a disappointing thing for Blaine to hear.

"You are." Blaine answered without a second though. "And you said I was yours."

"You remember that?" Kurt grinned a little hopeful that he remembered more.

"You said it ten times, I was bound to remember at least one." Blaine mused with a small smile.

"I don't know, you drank a lot." Kurt laughed awkwardly because he wanted Blaine to remember different things he'd said.

He wanted to hug him and hold him close but he also didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

They lay there for a while, sometimes just staring at each other, sometimes with their eyes closed trying to sleep, when Blaines phone started ringing from in his pants across the room. Blaine raced over unhappily and answered it,

"Hello...?... No... Yeah... Yeah... I know and I'm sorry-... Okay but... Yes... I will... I don't remember... No... _No_...! Alright... Alright, fine... why are you yelling it's too early in the morning for yelling... What time is it...? Okay, I'll meet you... okay... okay... okay... yes... I'm sorry... alright... okay... see you there... bye-"

"Who was that?" Kurt wondered but he could tell from Blaines face who it was.

"Sebastian." He answered rather dimly. "I don't feel well."

"If you need to throw up again you can, just do it in the bathroom."

"I'll be fine, thank you." He groaned as he started changing back into his clothing. "I have to go, but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Thank you so much for bringing me here and taking care of me. I'm so sorry to have dragged you through last night."

Kurt shrugged, "It was fine. Don't worry."

Blaine paused for a moment and watched him as if trying to determine whether or not he was serious. Kurt met this challenge willingly. "We should get lunch tomorrow."

"Alright," Kurt nodded.

"And thank you again." Blaine, now dressed fully in his clothing from last night, leaped towards Kurts bed to hug him. Kurt was surprised, and despite the dirty clothing, he willingly accepted.

Kurt fell back into his bed and slept until Burt marched in two hours later to talk about the day they've been having and demanding he join them for the rest of it.

* * *

Kurt sat at a table in the Lima Bean waiting for Blaine to sit down after getting trapped in a conversation with the barista, who conveniently didn't realize he was gay.

Blaine was smiling when he sat down, and Kurt tried to give him his full attention.

"Are you feeling better?" Kurt asked.

"Surprisingly, yes." Blaine smiled brightly. "And I remember more of the night too."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him curiously which Blaine found a little concerning. "Unless I'm still forgetting something?"

"No, I just expected you to be hung over until Thursday." Kurt lied smoothly.

"Haha, well I'm not." Blaine laughed proudly and almost a little jittery. Then he became a little more somber while saying, "Apparently I said a lot to Sebastian. I guess I was holding in one or two minor resentments."

"Apparently." Kurt nodded.

"But he wouldn't even let me apologize." Blaine beamed a large tooth-filled smile. "He just wanted me to be more honest with him, and kept apologizing to me. I wasn't expecting that."

"Me neither." Kurt answered honestly and a little annoyed.

"I can't help but feel like I'm still forgetting things, though." Blaine mused.

"Hm." Kurt took a sip of his drink.

"Did I..." Blaine smiled a little awkwardly. "This might have been a dream but... did I-I don't know, profess my undying love to you or anything ridiculous like that?"

"What?" Kurt spat in an awkward laugh. _I wish_. "No, of course not."

"Oh, good." Blaine laughed awkwardly. "Did I do or say anything else I might want to be aware of?"

Kurt couldn't help but feel like maybe this was a leading question. Did Blaine remember? If he did, why wouldn't he just say so? Why dance around the topic? No, Kurt decided, he didn't remember. Kurt only wished he did.

"Not that I can think of."

"Hm." Blaine nodded then smiled a little. "You are my best friend, though."

"And you are mine." Kurt agreed, then smiled, "Oh, you did say you loved me."

Blaine smiled a little wider. "I do."

_Maybe I should just be happy with that. At least he's in my life. And he will always be my first love and first time, but maybe I don't have to be his. I can love him anyways._ Kurt thought _I can't risk having that if it's all I will get from him. I will just stay with him to pick up any pieces Sebastian may break, and I will be happy to do it._

"Anything else?" Blaine wondered.

"N-Nope."

"Okay." Blaine seemed satisfied.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! I hope you've been enjoying. The next chapter, I think I will do Blaine's POV.**

**Please let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

_**There is a bit of smut in this chapter for those who've been waiting ;)**_

(Blaines POV)

**Blaine**

2009

I don't know _what_ was wrong with me. I should be focusing on fixing things with Sebastian and helping the Warblers prepare for next years sectionals. Instead, I'm focused on Kurt. I can't get him out of my head and, maybe I'm in denial over something but, I'm really not sure why!

Everywhere I go, I look for him. Even places I know he won't be.

Last week my dad took me to a football game, and I was looking for Kurt in every seat. Not Sebastian, Kurt. And I kissed him! _Why would I do that?_! I mean sure I was drunk, but I was still completely aware of what I was doing. I just felt this tiny impulse to do it and let myself feed on that impulse until it was strong enough and I knew I could blame it on the alcohol. That's not a good excuse though, I did a bad thing.

No wonder he pulled away too, he probably thought I was the biggest, two-timing whore on the planet. But you know what, Blaine, you are a slut. No I'm not, I was just behaving like one. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! _Ugh_, and how you threw yourself at him... I wanted to be able to punch myself in the face. How could I be so stupid? How was he still able to look me in the eye? He must be disgusted by my behavior. I've drank before, and never acted like _that_. Why would I let myself do that?!

I was so focused on my mistakes of Friday night that I struggled to walk through the Dalton hallways without bumping into people. I was walking slower than normal but who could blame me?_ I'm in crisis_!

Sebastian has noticed me pulling away, I know he has, and he says he's going to work harder to make sure I'm happy, but it doesn't feel like anything other than promises. Words. Whether or not he means it is irrelevant, I don't love him, I love K-no. No.

I shook my head trying to reset my thoughts.

I really liked Sebastian when I met him, but recently I've been wondering why. We have very few similar interests and he wants to move _way_ faster than I do. Bitch please, you asked Kurt to have sex with you _multiple_ times. Yeah, But I was drunk. You knew what you were doing. And the worst part is, I woke up disappointed he'd said no.

Of course he said no, any decent person would, but I'm getting distracted. Lately I've been bringing every single thought back to Kurt, and I can't figure out why. I'm dating Sebastian, I should be thinking about him, right? But I think I only agreed to date him because I was so amazed that someone like him wanted to date me. I'd never had a boyfriend before and the idea of getting one was impossible to refuse. Plus he was so cool and adventurous and experienced and everything he did sounded so recklessly interesting and incredible. I thought building a relationship with him would make me like that too, but I just feel like a grandmother suggesting we not do things he wants to do, or quietly enduring the things I agree to.

And I don't think he's turning me into the person I want to be. I'm not any better version of myself when I'm with him. I don't like the way he judges people, and even when I'm doing it with him, I don't want to be doing it. I want to be encouraged to be a good or better person. I want to get drunk and know kissing other guys is wrong regardless of what I might want and I don't want to think, _what would Sebastian do_ and do the wrong thing! And I don't want to give my mother a heart attack when I don't come home because we decided to sleep at the beach, or in the car, and I want to be the sort of person who does things I want to do and not what looks cool.

Why can't I watch soap operas? Sebastian says their gay, but so am I? And sometimes I like to drink girly things without anyone making comments or doing my nails, and taking care of myself. I mean, sure I don't do it to the same extent that Kurt does, but maybe that's because I don't give Kurt enough of my attention. Plus, Sebastian loves cars. I don't. I pretend to because I know about them but they are just a reminder of my fathers attempted home-conversion efforts because my mom refused to let him put me in an institution. Maybe I want to watch musicals from the 50's. I mean, I definitely don't like them as much as Kurt but it would be something. I thought Sebastian was the coolest, bravest guy I knew but after meeting Kurt, I realized he was just the typical rebellious teenager and I don't think I want to be that way. Kurt's really brave.

And if I'm being honest, I don't think I trust him anymore either. I genuinely don't think Kurt would lie to me. I don't think he'd do anything to hurt me. Maybe he was into Sebastian, maybe he wasn't, but that doesn't change the fact he wouldn't actively try to hurt me. So why would he go after Sebastian? He says he has no interest in Sebastian but let's be real, I see how Kurt looks at him. It's nothing but tension between the two of them. And Kurt never denied saying he'd asked Sebastian if he would leave me, only that it was in a different context. What kind of contexts are there for that kind of question? And if it was so innocent why would Sebastian tell me? What was his goal in that?

I am not sure why I reacted as I had when Sebastian told me. I mean... of course I didn't believe him. Kurt didn't want Sebastian, but there was this small nagging voice in my head that said maybe he did and maybe that was the only reason he'd wanted to be my friend. I'd gotten angry enough to want to confront Kurt that day which Sebastian had argued against. And when I was confronting Kurt I realized that for some reason, I wasn't angry that Kurt wanted Sebastian. I was angry that he didn't want me. How could I be so petty and so vain? And when he pinned me down, I think I was done.

The way he so perfectly controlled my body shocked me. And even more, that I liked it. Sebastian had done things like that to me, but it was all sexy fun and a wrestle for us both to get on top. With Kurt, I really didn't mind him being in control. But that's insane! I don't want to be controlled, I want to be in control of what's happening... that's when I realized maybe it wasn't about Sebastian but Kurt. I trusted Kurt completely, enough that even if he'd wanted to break us up, it must have been for a good reason. And since then all I could think about was how comfortable it was to have him around me. When would I stop fighting that?

I walked into my English class but couldn't stop my mind long enough to focus. The worst part was that Kurt and I had English together so I had to sit beside him and pretend I wasn't completely absorbed in his proximity to me.

"Hey." Kurt smiled and it was a beautiful smile.

"Hello." I greeted as pleasantly as I could, but I was always feeling pleasant when Kurt was around. Well... without Sebastian. I know Kurt said he hated Sebastian, but the fear that he was lying was too strong.

"How are you?" Kurt wondered.

"I'm excellent." I smiled. "There's a showing of Shakespeare in the park tomorrow. Did you want to go with me?"

He looked at me as if that was the most amazing offer he'd ever heard, which is good because I'd been trying to find an offer he couldn't refuse. I needed to redeem myself for this weekend. Maybe I could just tell him I remember. Then he'd tell me what he really thought. But I was a coward, not brave like him, and the words refused to form. Maybe I could tell him tomorrow, after giving him the best day so that he would remember what good friends we were. Then maybe I could do some damage control.

"Of course!" Kurt smiled wider than I would have expected. I always loved that about him. I would ask him to do something he loved just a little but he acted as if it were magical. It filled my chest with joy and pride and made a smile cross my lips. His face turned more somber then, "But I cant. Jerry is helping me with math tomorrow."

"Oh." I was about to offer to help him with math, but he was one year higher and I hadn't learned what he had. I'd only gotten into this class because I happened to do all my English courses early so I could get an extra spare in senior year. "Maybe Wednesday then."

"Maybe, I might be visiting Mercedes, if she's not being held up at glee club."

"Oh." Is he looking for reasons not to spend extra time with me? "Is there a day...?"

The teacher started talking so he turned his attention to her. I was left sitting in a slightly depressed state trying to determine every thing I would need to atone for.

I understood if I made him uncomfortable but I still wanted to be his friend, if nothing else. Maybe it wasn't as forgettable for him. How could it be, Blaine, you idiot? You threw yourself at him repeatedly. Not only physically, but you practically begged him to have sex with you. Why would you do that? Why? Ugh, I regret everything. I should have stayed home. I think I'll be sick tomorrow. I can't come back until I'm ready to talk to him about it. And I have to accept that he might want nothing more to do with me.

The thought of being without him hurt and I couldn't understand exactly why. I hadn't known him long enough to become dependent on him, but maybe I was. He made me feel comfortable and safe and always accepted. He put up with things no one should and I kept putting him through more! How could he tolerate me?! How could I believe he wasn't trying to get closer to Sebastian through me? Why else would someone tolerate my behavior? And why was I so hung up on him?

Maybe this was lust. I mean... it could be. But there was nothing-no offense to Kurt-explicitly sexually appealing about him. He'd bulked up a little since we first met but not so much so that I should want to pounce him when he walked into a room. What the hell is wrong with me?

And if I was being completely honest with myself, I would be able to acknowledge the truth that I just... didn't want to be with Sebastian anymore. There was no spark or electricity or thrill. He was sexy, sure, much more obviously than Kurt, but maybe that's what my body was trying to tell me. If I was so much more drawn to Kurt than to Sebastian, then I couldn't very well be all that interested in Sebastian, right? I mean... that would explain why this has only been an issue for the past week or so. I met Sebastian and thought I'd never meet anyone better, but when I met Kurt I thought, "oh he's cute" in a platonic kind of way.

"Can I borrow a pen?" I glanced up in shock at Kurt who was reaching over as if I would just give him one. And of course I would, I just needed to get past the shock of being pulled away from my mind.

Oh my god, his eyes, how do they look like that-stop. No.

_Oh_, who am I kidding, yes. _Please_ Kurt, never stop looking at me. But when I gave him my pen, he went back to focusing on his notes.

I wasn't even sure how I could feel so much disappointment so deep inside of me. Would it be too inappropriate to masturbate thinking about your best friend? Maybe that's what I needed to do. He wouldn't know...

The thought of him Friday night dancing with that other guy... Ugh, it still makes me sick. I didn't think I would mind much, and I tried to convince myself that I was just angry he hadn't found someone else sooner so he could stay away from Sebastian, but that wasn't it, because I was willing to leave Sebastian with a group of guys actively flirting with him just so I could intercept Kurt. How had I gotten so... jealous? And what was I jealous of?

The idea that maybe I had feelings for Kurt was tempting but too terrifying to admit. If he didn't want me back, I'd die. Denial, if that's what this was, would be much safer. Plus, Kurt would make it obvious if he felt the same, wouldn't he? He was a hopeless romantic.

I couldn't just _want_ Kurt for his body. That would be insane. And rude. He means so much more to me than just sex. He's... He's so brave and tough and strong, and no one even notices because he doesn't look it, but he is. And that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of everything that he is to me... or in general.

I knew the answer, even if I tried to avoid it. And I tried to avoid it so I could keep dating Sebastian without being such a bad person. But I knew it was over with Sebastian. It's been over for weeks, I've just been hiding from it because... I'm scared that if I'm not dating Sebastian, Kurt will. And I don't want that. I can't stomach the idea of seeing that.

Kurt deserved better than Sebastian. I mean... Sebastian isn't a bad person, and he's smart and has a lot of potential but... I don't know, he's not good enough for Kurt. Kurt deserves the world, and whoever he ends up with damn well better know it! I know it. And he should too. Plus, Kurt wants romance and subtlety. Sebastian has neither of those.

_Ugh_, I can't believe you asked him to have sex with you! No wonder he won't look at you. He's probably disgusting with you. He's been disgusted with you since you attacked him in the back of his car. Then you stupidly requested he ask you out, which-thank god for Kurt-he was kind enough to forget about so that you didn't destroy your relationship.

At least I know now he doesn't feel the same. That has to be better than always wondering.

"Blaine." Kurt snapped in a little annoyance.

"What's up?" I asked catching my breath again when looking into his eyes. Calm down, you're going to scare him away.

"Do you want to be my partner?"

"Oh, yes." I stammered in confusion. "For what?"

"The assignment she _just_ assigned, weren't you listening?" Kurt wondered but he looked amused rather than judgmental which... how could he be so wonderful?

"Oh." What could I say? No, I was thinking about your eyes and how it felt to have your body on mine but also avoiding getting a boner? "I think I'm still hung over."

He laughed and shook his head as he started to stand. Was class over already? My god, what did I do? How did I lose an hour?

"Do you want to come to my house after school to work on it?" I asked thinking about trying to seduce him but keeping that in the back of my mind as much as I could. I couldn't screw up this friendship. If that's all he wanted from me, I would do my best.

"Sure. After Warbler practice." Ugh, why does he care more about that than me... Sebastian? Is that his chance to see him? I wished I could say that I was angry he was interested in my boyfriend, but realistically I was mad that he wasn't interested in me. What did Sebastian have that I didn't?

I started the Dalton fight club, which I invited him to, and I was top of my class, even if it was a different class than them. I was the lead vocalist, not him, so I mean... that says something there, and I'm a sophomore, not a junior like them, so... Maybe that was it, maybe he thought I was too young. I'm one of the most popular guys at Dalton Academy, too. Much more widely liked than Sebastian who is not the proper height for Kurt anyways. I'm just his size.

He's not nicer than I am, that's for sure. I mean, Sebastian has always been nice to me, but I've seen him be a dick at times too. Kurt wouldn't like that. He hates bullies. Maybe if I could get Sebastian... no. That would make me worse than Sebastian and then Kurt would never love me the same way. I liked that we didn't keep secrets... for the most part.

* * *

It was hard not to examine Sebastian and Kurt and how they interacted in Warbler practice. I felt a strong spike of anger every time they were within five feet of each other. And every time Sebastian glanced at Kurt, or Kurt looked at Sebastian, I wanted to scream at them to focus. Why couldn't they just stab me in the chest and get it over with? I could hardly even focus on singing, especially when I noticed Austin, a boy who usually swayed quietly in the background, not unnoticed by me, but definitely not to Kurt's standards, grab Kurt by the hand and make him his dance partner.

What the hell were the words to the song? What song was I singing? Why the fuck was Austin dancing with Kurt and _why_ did Kurt look so damn _happy_ about it?!

I shook my head and tried to focus so I didn't alert anyone else to my internal struggle. Wes had already noticed me screwing up words, and so had Sebastian, but of course he did, he was an expert on my screw ups. I mean... I know he said he'd try to change that but... what was the point? Did I want to continue caring what he thought? Not really.

"Should we call this early?" Wes asked me when the song was done.

"I think I'm just tired." I answered, a little honest. I avoided looking at anyone who might know otherwise. "I had a long weekend."

"Alright. We can continue tomorrow." He nodded and dismissed us.

I felt a hand on my lower back and felt the urge to cringe knowing who it was. It wasn't that I hated Sebastian or didn't want him near me, but every time he touched me it gave Kurt a reason not to, and a reason to pull further away.

If you dump him, I told myself, then you can ask out Kurt. Kurt wouldn't want to be a rebound though. Not that he would ever be to me but he might not see it that way.

I wanted a day away from everyone and everything so I could organize my thoughts and feelings. I clearly needed that. Kurt was my friend. But so was Wes and I didn't obsess over him like this. What was it about Kurt? I'd think it could be that we slept in the same bed but that was after. I smiled a little at the memory of waking up to his sleeping face, but cringed in horrified embarrassment knowing that I'd pretended to sleep so I could lay with him longer without disturbing our friendship. Ugh, _why was I such a terrible person?!_

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes." I lied smoothly. "I'm still a little hung over I think."

"Do you want to come over to my place. My parents are out of town again." His fingers played along my back, and it did feel good actually, but I felt sick knowing I wished it wasn't him doing it. Break up with him, Blaine. But I can't or I might lose Kurt. "Kurt and I have a project after school."

I glanced back at Kurt who was talking and laughing with Austin now. First Sebastian, now _him_?! You're going to make me catty, Kurt! I'm right over here! Can you just... _ugh, please_ Kurt why can't you just see me?

Sebastian gave Kurt a slightly sour look which gave me a little hope.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" Sebastian turned his attention back to me.

"What was that look?" I pushed.

"I just... don't understand why you're still spending so much time with him." He explained. "I told you what he did and what he said."

"And I told you I believe Kurt." I reminded. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"He asked me to break up with you so I could be with him." Sebastian reminded.

"Can you tell me what you were talking about when he said that, because I really don't understand."

"Nothing!" He gasped. "He just leaned into me and asked me to do it."

"But you said no." I clarified.

"Of course I did." He seemed insulted I would even ask.

"Do you want to date Kurt?" I wondered. "Do you have feelings for him?"

"Of course not."

"Then there really isn't much of a problem, is there?" I hoped he was serious but something about how he was acting made me fear there might be more to it than I thought and I really didn't want to lose Kurt to him.

"Alright." Sebastian surrendered but tried to stay casual. "But remember what I told you, right?"

"Yeah, of course." I laughed. "Anyways, Kurt is harmless." Unfortunately.

Sebastian nodded and leaned down to kiss me. It was nothing compared to kissing Kurt, but maybe that had been the alcohol talking.

After he pulled away, I glanced back at Kurt who was watching us with a wiry unpleasant expression, his eyes primarily on Sebastian as if he might be sick. Oh no. Why? I tried to keep my mind from imagining. I tried to pretend I didn't care but it was impossible. Was Kurt upset because he wanted Sebastian that bad? Or did my actions on Friday sicken him that much? I needed him to tell me, this was impossible to live with.

Sebastian slapped my butt which was... whatever, and I started walking towards Kurt and Austin. Kurt had smiled at me, noticing me looking, then returned to his conversation.

Sebastian had warned me that Kurt might try to break us up, but I honestly didn't mind that. I only cared about why. What did Kurt want from us breaking up? A deep seated hope inside me wished he would want me to love him. Maybe he wanted me, but if he did I had given him his chance on Saturday, and again on Sunday. He didn't take them. Or maybe Friday had ruined my chances. Maybe he thought I'd make a terrible boyfriend. Of course I would make a terrible boyfriend. I was currently a terrible boyfriend.

"Hey." I said probably interrupting.

Neither of them looked upset but Austin said he needed to go and promised to text Kurt later. They were texting now?! A little soon, don't you think?

"What was that?" I tried to be as pleasant and mocking about it as I could but my insides were burning to know.

"Oh, nothing, he just... wanted to talk." Why are you smiling like that, Kurt?! You never smile like that when I talk to you. Not unless you're... _*GASP*_ You're bashful! How dare you? How dare _he_?

"Oh? I know that smile." I smiled as if I wasn't dying. "What does he want to talk about?"

"What were you and Sebastian talking about?" I wasn't sure if this was a reflective answer or if he was changing the subject.

"You and me going to my house." I answered easily as he started to lead the way out of the class and out towards his car.

"He didn't mind?" Kurt asked.

"Why would he mind?" I asked, genuinely wondering.

Kurt shrugged though and didn't answer. I got into the passenger seat and took a deep breath smelling the sweet scent of Kurt and leather. I watched him get into the car and begin driving. It was hard not to smile watching him so focused on driving, but it was a large SUV and he wasn't massive himself. It was rather sexy, actually. I couldn't help but imagine him driving when we were older, even if for some unfortunate reason we were no longer in each other's lives. I could imagine him driving with children in the back on his way home to a husband who I prayed would love him more than anything, and my heart filled with more joy than I think I've ever felt.

All I want if for you to be happy, Kurt.

"Why don't people know how to drive?" He asked, getting ready to honk at someone but I instinctively pulled his hand away from the horn, as I have many times, and had to fight myself not to hold it. "I was thinking we could do our project on life in the depression."

"Why?" I wondered curiously. I would do whatever he wanted.

"Because Of Mice and Men is based in the depression." Kurt answered sounding a little annoyed. I doubted it was directed at me as much as the other drivers and the fact I hadn't yet truthfully explained my inability to focus.

"Would you date Austin?" I wondered.

He laughed a little awkwardly. "I barely know him."

"He seemed to like you."

"Do you think I should?"

"No." I answered without thinking. "I mean, if you want to then go for it but I don't think you should for no reason."

"It might be nice to date someone." He mused. "I haven't had a boyfriend yet. And I mean... I should explore my options a little, right?"

"You shouldn't start dating someone just to have a boyfriend." I informed him. "You deserve better than that."

"I'm starting to feel desperate."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath and glanced at me as if not sure how to proceed next. Then he did, "I'm tired of fighting for love, Blaine. I thought I knew my soul mate, but what if I was wrong? I can't keep fighting for something that's not meant to be, can I?"

My stomach felt like it was filled completely with boiling water. "You don't know what's meant to be. Who did you think was your soul mate?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does." I paused, "Is it someone I know?"

"Yes."

"Is he gay?"

"Yes."

"Is he single?"

"No." His eyes widened then and he locked his jaw to keep from saying more.

It was hard to form the words, but I managed to ask, "is it Sebastian?"

"Oh my god, Blaine!" He snapped in annoyance. "For the last time, I'm not interested in Sebastian."

"You could tell me if you were, you know. I'd understand." He gave me a dark glare so I surrendered. "Who is it then?" But he pulled into my driveway and didn't answer.

We were still silent when we got into my room. I got us snacks while he started opening our books and papers across the bed.

I tried my best to listen to Kurt's instructions on how to complete the project but I was too easily distracted. I gave minor pieces of advice carefully but let him take the lead. I was happy just to watch him and listen. When he asked questions, I answered willingly.

I realized as I watched him work, that maybe he wasn't just a friend. Not to me anyways. No, I could watch him forever and never get bored. I couldn't stop loving everything that he did or hearing him speak. How could I keep deluding myself? I didn't just want Kurt for sex. Sure he was appealing, but it was more than that. I wanted him. I wanted to be his and for him to be mine. Forever, if I could get him that long. He made me feel things I didn't know were possible. Looking at him somehow caused me both immense joy and agonizing pain. I wanted him in my arms forever. I never wanted to see him cry or hear that someone had hurt him. I loved him, and more than as a friend. How was I too blind to see that?

"This is going to take all night." Kurt groaned rubbing his eyes. "We don't even know what we're doing yet, and it's been an hour."

"Let's take a break." I suggested. "We can come back to this after we've done something that isn't school related."

"Like?" Kurt asked then looked at my clock. "I have to be home by ten."

"You can spend the night." I offered without thinking. He seemed just as surprised as I was. His eyes terrified me because they were wide and clearly held an emotion I wasn't certain of. "You know, to work."

"S-sure." Oh God, I made him uncomfortable, didn't I? He is probably scared to be in the bed with me again. I could sleep on the floor if he wanted... "I'll just text my dad."

Kurt closed his books and sat with crossed legs on my bed. He smiled at me widely and I wanted to kiss his beautiful lips but I knew I wasn't allowed.

"Are you happy, Kurt?" I wondered.

"Yes." He answered seeming a little curious about the question.

"Good." I smiled. "I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy, too." He paused then and added, "Which is why I would really like you to tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"I know you Blaine." He said with a strangely certain authority. "I know when something is wrong."

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" I asked looking at my hands to avoid seeing his face.

"Of course not." He said putting a hand on my knee. "Blaine?"

I felt tears starting to pool down my cheeks but didn't bother to hide them. "I am. I am a horrible person."

"Why would you even say that?" Kurt demanded with more force than I'd ever heard form him.

"I remember."

"Remember what?"

"Friday night." He pulled his hand away then and straightened up watching me with a skeptical composure. Please don't hate me Kurt. "I remember everything. I remember what I said and how I acted and I am so sorry. I know what you must be thinking of me, and I have no excuse for my behavior."

"Why'd you lie?" He asked.

"I... I didn't know how you'd react. And I didn't want you to hate me."

"There's nothing I could ever hate about you."

"I'm so sorry that I made you so uncomfortable."

"Did you mean it?" He asked suddenly, ignoring my apology.

"Mean what?"

"What you said?" What did he mean? What I said about leaving Sebastian or having sex with him or both? What part did he want from me. I think I was willing to give him whatever part he wanted.

"All of it." I answered, vaguely concerned I might have actually forgotten something I didn't mean.

I looked up at him but couldn't read his facial expression like he could always read mine. Effortlessly.

"Please Kurt, say something. Even if it is only to hate me." I begged.

I was rewarded, rather than punished though because he leaned forward and started kissing me. The kiss was deeper and harder than I remembered, but just as good. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his arms curl around my body with an iron strong grip that made me relax instantly. I let my body melt over his as our legs intertwined.

"Errm, Kurt." I moaned, my eyes remaining closed and relaxed.

"Blaine." He whimpered, his tongue moving softly along my bottom lip.

My arms tightened around him and we remained like that for a moment until I was able to will myself to pull away from his lips to start kissing his jaw and down his neck. He moaned as one of his hands moved down to my groin and started pulling at the zipper of my pants. Through my pants I could feel myself getting harder under him. Soon he'd be holding me, and me him and then we'd both take each other for the first time ever.

He pulled me out after a small rushed effort to open my pants with one hand and his warm hand cupped my cock, just holding it for a moment. Then he began rubbing and I let out a moan wondering how he knew how to touch me just right. His fingers played with me expertly, getting me hard fast. I bit and nibbled his neck as lightly as I could without getting too rough in response to the sensation between my legs but it was hard when I was already holding in my cum.

"Kurt." I breathed, pulling away and returning my lips to his while allowing my hands to unbuckle his belt and open his pants. He wasn't as hard as I was yet, but large and getting ready. I put his thick cock in my hand and started rubbing fairly hard, but only as hard as I would also like, letting my thumb roll over his tip occasionally so I could spread his pre-cum as if it were a lubricant.

After a few moments of that we started pulling at each others clothing until they were scattered around the room, then I lay down on top of him feeling his naked body pressed directly against mine. His warm, ready body waiting for me. I slid his legs apart with my own and positioned my hips between his legs feeling him just below my own stomach as I continued to kiss down his beautiful body. "mmm, Kurt."

I reached to my side drawer and pulled out a condom. Then some lubricant because I'd read online we'd need it. I slid the condom on and rubbed some lube over it before reaching down and circling his anus with my finger.

"Ask me for it, Kurt."

"Please Blaine." He moaned by his voice sounded a little off. Then I remembered why. "Blaine...! Blaine!" Then I was pulled back into reality. "_Blaine_!"

"Yes?" I asked, thankful I had a book on my lap covering my erection. I looked up at Kurt who, unlike my fantasy, was fully dressed and not begging me for inappropriate interactions.

"Where did you go?" Kurt demanded. He looked, not annoyed but bothered and a little worried. Maybe he should be since I _clearly_ couldn't control myself.

"I was... I was right here." I stammered, not sure I was ready to leave that fantasy. How am I supposed to fix this, though? I have a growing erection and have to sleep with the person who gave it to me without scaring them away. What if it doesn't go? This isn't okay, how do I stop this, how do I stop this?

"You zoned out for like... a minute or so."

"What did you say before?"

"I said I know that something is wrong." He said, flashing a hand towards me as if to prove his point. "What is it?"

"I... This might sound really weird but... I've been feeling really weird lately." I answered. Whenever Sebastian talked about sex, Kurt met him equally and unafraid. He told me he didn't like talking about it and was supposed to be afraid of it, but his actions always dictated otherwise. Plus, what was wrong with one friend asking another for advice? Since I desperately needed it and the internet would not be helpful with people around.

"Weird how?" Kurt asked probably because I didn't continue.

"I... Okay, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." He looked confused and a little concerned but very ready.

"It might be a little... awkward, or uncomfortable..."

"I'm listening."

Then I realized nothing about this had to be awkward. I have a boyfriend. One I probably shouldn't have anymore, but that point ignored. "Sebastian wants to have sex."

"Oh." He gaped at me for a moment and I think there was a little judgment in his eyes as he tried to understand what I meant. He'd gone a little stiff so maybe he didn't want to talk about this. "A-a-and h-ave you?"

"No, not yet." He seemed to relax a little when I said that.

"Good." He snapped which seemed a little out of character but I ignored it. "You shouldn't have sex until marriage. After marriage even, is it getting hot in here, I'll open a window."

I put out a hand to stop him and it worked. "I'm not sure I believe in that." I said with a tiny smirk. He looked so cute when he got flustered. How could anyone look so adorable? "And to be clear, I'm not sure I want to have sex with Sebastian either." So, you know... I'm free if you are.

"Oh." Kurt seemed to relax a little. Was he only worried about Sebastian? Because he's had a few partners, Kurt, he ain't saving himself for nobody. I calculated his reaction. He didn't seem completely uncomfortable with the sex talk, so I continued.

"But I still... I'm all for masturbation. I think it's good to express your sexuality in safe, healthy ways." That's what I'd read online anyways, and my mom agreed. "But I don't want to be that guy who has to do it every 12 hours to be a functional member of society."

He eyed me a little strangely, looking me up and down for a moment, and I felt a small pang of fear that he knew what was wrong. But he straightened his face and shrugged his shoulders, and I realized that if he knew and was hiding it to make me feel more comfortable, I think I was in love with him. How did he do that?

"I think..." He thought for a moment. "I think I screwed up." He admitted but I didn't understand what he was saying. Did he regret coming over? Regret saying he could spend the night? "You're... different... now and I don't know if I know how to fix that."

"What do you mean?" I tried to sound casual but I was shaking.

"I can't..." He looked a little run down. "Blaine... I think you have ketchup in your hair. I don't know how you got it there, but you should take a shower. I'll be downstairs making pasta. Okay?"

I blinked at him wide-eyed and confused. How could I possibly have ketchup in my hair? I haven't eaten a single thing with ketchup in four days at least, and I shower regularly, and touch up my hair more than that. And why did he want to go downstairs and make _pasta_? What a random thing, plus it could take an hour, maybe more with how detailed he likes to be. What the hell was he talking about?

"_Take a shower, Blaine_." He ordered a little harshly, getting up and leaving the room.

Why would I take a shower? I looked down in a moment of confusion and noticed the book on my lap and remembered. _OH!_ I jumped out of the bed and went to my bathroom and turned on the cold water. I couldn't touch myself with Kurt in the building, it would feel too wrong. Plus, if I kept my hair out of the cold water, it should be fine.

It took probably five or ten minutes, maybe more, for my body to get over itself, or at least to a point where if I didn't let my mind wonder, I should be fine. How could Kurt be so calm about this? Could I be this calm? Suddenly I hoped so.

Before getting dressed again I checked my hair desperately in case my hair somehow did actually have ketchup in it that I hadn't noticed. I re-gelled my hair quickly, there was no ketchup, got dressed and went downstairs.

"Thank you." I told him seeing him in the kitchen. I hadn't realized until I saw him, but a small part of me had feared he would run away. I remembered the conversation we'd had in my head. Maybe if I told him, he'd be that understanding. Or maybe he'd yell at me. Anything would be something. "Kurt..."

"Yeah?" He asked stirring what I assumed was pasta.

"I have something to tell you." He looked interested but calm and I didn't want to lose that. It's not like he couldn't get emotional at times. "About Friday."

He shook his head then. "How about we talk about something else?"

Did he want to forget it that bad? Maybe I shouldn't tell him. But then how could I apologize?

"It's real quick." I promised.

"I kind of want to forget about it, to be completely honest." He told me and something stiff in his expression and voice made it clear that he meant it. So it was that bad for him.

"Are you sure there is nothing I should apologize for?" I asked desperately. "Because I feel like maybe I should."

"Nope." He answered in a friendly but final tone. "Nothing significant."

That felt like a dagger to the chest.

"A-alright." I nodded. "But I _am_ sorry for how I acted. My behavior was inappropriate and unforgivable, I'm sure. It shouldn't have been your job to babysit me."

His eyes relaxed a little then and his smile turned a little more sincere. "I don't mind taking care of you, Blaine."

Those words impacted me more than he could have known and dug deep into my soul. I wanted him to take care of me, and I wanted to take care of him. But we didn't want to do it in the same way.

"Can you pass me the colander?" He asked and I did, slowly backing away from him to watch from a small distance as I tried to calm myself down.

* * *

We'd finished our project around midnight and would review it tomorrow to make sure it was good to hand in. He'd gone to sleep fairly quickly with his back turned to me which was fine by me because I wasn't sure I could look at him much longer and not break into tears.

How had this happened to me? Why?

I had convinced myself that everything was pushing me towards Kurt. He knew me almost better than I knew myself. He knew what songs to play to correct or enhance any mood I was in, he knew all my favorite foods and things without me ever having to tell him, he always had the right thing to say, and I swear sometimes I think he can read my mind.

I stared up at the black ceiling above me and tried to console myself. Maybe I wasn't making any of the right decisions. Maybe I was being too much of a coward. I wanted to be more like Kurt, but what would he do in this situation? He was always so wise, I'm sure he'd do the right thing.

I know what he'd do. He wouldn't have drunkenly kissed another guy while in a relationship with someone else, or repeatedly begged for sex, or been fantasying about his friend with said friend in the room resulting in what must have been one of the most awkward encounters of my life! He'd be honest and brave and he wouldn't hide because he never hides.

I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep much more than two hours in total but when I woke up seeing Kurt I couldn't maintain my smile. Until I remembered that he didn't feel for me the way I did for him. And he probably didn't want to.

My alarm signaled that we needed to get up. We didn't say much other than good morning and a short discussion over whether to eat here or stop at the Lima Bean. We chose the Lima Bean.

"What do you think you're going to get?" I wondered as we stood in line.

"I'm not sure I'm hungry." He answered.

"Oh really? I think I want that brownie. Or maybe that cookie."

"Isn't it a little early for that?"

"When are cookies healthy, Kurt? When are they healthy?"

He shrugged, "When you're right, you're right."

I continued to grumble, "People eat doughnuts for breakfast, that can't be healthy."

Kurt smirked but I think he was tired.

"Didn't sleep well?" I asked, a little concerned that my tossing and turning had woken him up.

"Yeah, it's fine." He shook his head a little then widened his eyes as if he could convince them to stay open. "I was just... overthinking, maybe."

"Really?" I replied a little too excited. I calmed myself to continue, "What were you thinking about?"

"I had a really weird dream." He answered.

Before I could ask me, Burt showed up with a coffee in his hand and said, "hey boys." There was something strange about how he was looking at us but I wasn't sure exactly what. "So strange running into the _both_ of you here so early in the morning."

I glanced at Kurt who was looking un-phased up at the menu.

"Blaine's house is on the way, I agreed to pick him up, right Blaine?" Kurt replied smoothly.

"Is that so, Blaine?" Burt looked at me with a small expectant smirk and clear disbelief on his face.

"Y-yeah, my house is on the way." To what? School? Sure, so is everyone's house. It's the starting point.

"Hm." Burt looked a little unsatisfied but I wasn't sure why. "How's Racheal? Feeling better?"

I glanced at Kurt who looked at his did now, eyes fully awake and face completely confident.

"Yeah. She's upset that I wasn't Finn though." Kurt noted in such a way that Burt relaxed a little.

"Rules are rules for both of you." He said. What did I walk into? "Are you coming home tonight, though?"

"Yeah, I think so." Kurt answered.

"Okay, have a good day at school then, Blaine, always a pleasure." Burt said to me and I smiled widely waiting for him to leave before turning back to Kurt.

I didn't have to ask because Kurt answered, "Carol saw you on Friday night and told my dad. Now we have a rule that I can't sleepover with boys and Finn can't sleepover with girls."

"So you told him you were staying at Racheals house." I clarified.

"Yes." He looked at me and smiled a little. I wish my heart didn't stop when he smiled at me.

"I didn't think you could lie." I praised, but felt a little nervous seeing how well he was able to lie to his dad. Maybe there was more, then, that he hadn't told me.

I couldn't say more because we'd gotten to the front of the line.

In the car I finally asked, "So what was your dream about?"

"What?" He wondered.

"The one that kept you awake?"

"Oh." He paused for a while then decided to answer, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Why not?" I pressured a little. "I tell you everything." Mostly.

He smirked a little but surrendered, "You'll think it's weird."

"No I won't." I promised.

"You're dating Sebastian." He started but I didn't even give that a moment to settle.

"I'm breaking up with him." I didn't expect to say it. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want that hanging in the air over us but there it was.

"What?" he glanced at me in shock.

"I'm... going to... break up with Sebastian." My heart was racing. How would he react? Was he happy? Was he sad? Did he know that I wanted him to myself?

"Why?" He sounded shocked. Did he think that was a bad idea? Would he not do the same? Did I put on a well enough facade to convince him Sebastian and I were solid?

"I've been thinking about it for a while." I answered a little untruthfully. I hadn't been taking the relationship seriously enough to consider ending it. It wasn't as if we were going to get married or anything. Now I wanted something real. "But Friday night was kind of my last straw. I don't want to be the kind of person who goes out and gets out of control. Alcohol isn't an excuse. And when I'm with him I always seem to be my worst self. It's not his fault, I know, but I'd think I need to re-grasp who I am on my own for a bit."

He stared at the road intently, slowly nodding his head.

"Do you agree?"

"Oh, yes. I think you s-should do whatever is best for you. When are you going to tell him?"

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "I keep putting it off."

"You shouldn't wait too long." He informed me with a bit of a rushed voice. "The longer you put it off, the more messy it will be."

"Tell me about this dream." I insisted wanting to change the subject back away from this topic. "I won't find it weird."

He hesitated but finally decided to say, "It seems a little stupid now."

"All dreams are stupid." I reminded. "I had a dream I was a pumpkin. What was yours."

He laughed a little but as he pulled into the Dalton Academy student parking lot, he said, "I'll tell you about it later."

* * *

**This was a long chapter and I wrote it in parts so please let me know if anything didn't flow smoothly or if I repeated things too often! I tried to make it all work nicely but rereading your own writing so soon after writing it allows you to skip over mistakes because you know what should be there rather than what is (if that makes any sense ;) ) .**

**Hope you have enjoyed! Please review to let me know what you think !**


	10. Chapter 10

**Kurt**

2009

Kurt returned home from school on Monday to find Carole, Finn, and his dad all sitting around the table waiting for him. _Oh here we go_, he thought in annoyance, wishing again he hadn't screwed everything up so that he could know what to expect.

Neither Carole or Burt looked happy and Finn was sitting with his shoulders slouched and a sorry look on his face.

"What's up?" Kurt asked as he walked into the room and dropped his bag on the floor beside his chair.

"I swear I didn't tell them anything." Finn said causing him to receive a dark look from his mom.

"Take a seat, Kurt." Burt ordered.

Kurt withheld the urge to roll his eyes and sat down.

"Kurt." Carole said in a hard but caring voice. "Is there anything you wanted to tell us?"

_I'm not actually 16 anymore and don't feel like being grounded for whatever rule or curfew I forgot applied._

"No." Kurt answered.

"Why was Blaine sleeping in your room Friday night?" Burt wondered. His voice made it clear there was no room for that to be tolerated.

"It was late and we didn't feel like making the extra trip." Kurt answered with an innocent shrug. He knew what Burt would say, and assumed that was the reason Finn was involved too. "What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is you can't have a guy sleep in your room with you!" Burt snapped.

"Why not?" Kurt wondered playing dumb the best that he could. "Finn does. Puck stays over once every two weeks at least."

"That's different." Carole said in a calm voice which was over showered by Burt yelling the exact same thing.

"It's different, Kurt and you know it." Burt snapped after sharing a look with Carole to verify she had nothing she wanted to add. "Finn having Puck stay over is not the same as him having Racheal or Mercedes or... or..." He looked at Carole who fed him a few other names of female friends they had "Santana, or Britney, or Tina stay over, and for you, having those girls stay over is not the same as having a boy stay over."

"Why not?" Kurt wondered.

"Doesn't Blaine have a boyfriend?" Burt demanded, a little calmer now that he had to think of a response other than "you're gay."

"Yes, so you know it is innocent." Kurt mused.

"No, that is not what I know. I know that you had a boy stay in your room, without telling us, and then you had your brother cover for you so you could sneak him out in the morning." Burt snapped.

Finn and Kurt shared a quick glance before looking back at their parents.

"It was a lovely day Finn, thank you for it, but did you really think we wouldn't know something was up?" Burt asked.

"I saw you and Blaine get home on Friday night." Carole admitted. "I didn't want to wake up your father then, and I didn't hear anything alarming." Everyone at the table made a face as she said that, "but I still needed to tell him."

"It wasn't hard to put two-and-two together after that." Burt agreed.

"We didn't do anything." Kurt defended.

"Do you think that matters?" Burt demanded. "How do you think that makes Blaine look? Or you? Do you really think people don't make assumptions about that sort of thing?"

"And imagine how Blaine's poor boyfriend had to feel." Carole added.

"Does he know?!" Burt inquired.

"I think so."

"You _think_ so? Kurt..." Burt groaned. "You can't be doing things like that."

"Okay." Kurt surrendered. _I'm 20 dad, I know you don't know that but I know what I am doing... mostly... This situation is still kind of new to me._

"Okay?" Carole asked.

"Okay, I'm sorry I let Blaine sleep over. I made him look like a slut and that was unfair to him. I won't do it again." Kurt tried, knowing it would fail, in a dull voice.

"_Woah_, I wouldn't go _that_ far." Burt decided.

"I won't have sleepovers with boys." Kurt agreed.

"Thank you." Burt nodded, then turned to Finn who was watching wide eyed, "And you?"

"I won't have sleepovers with Racheal... Or other girls." He decided.

"Thank you." Carole nodded then looked at Burt, "Is there anything else?"

"No, I think we are good here so long as they both understand." Both boys nodded. "Alright then."

When Burt and Carole left the table, Finn leaned over to Kurt, "You seemed very calm. Have we had this conversation before?"

"Last time it was just me and my dad." Kurt admitted.

* * *

Kurt had struggled to convince himself he was happy being Blaine's friend. _Maybe in collage, which I have to apply for again._

Although he'd had fun reconnecting with some of his old Dalton friends, English was certainly his favorite class. It was the one class he was able to get with Blaine. He almost debated failing all of his classes to get an extra year with Blaine, without Sebastian around.

That wouldn't work, though, Kurt decided, because he needed to keep this as close to the original as possible. Maybe it was impossible to go back to how things were.

Kurt was in English before Blaine which was unusual because Blaine's last class was closer. Kurt took his seat and immediately pulled out his phone to see if Blaine had texted him. He hadn't. A small pang of fear hit him thinking Blaine might not come today and hadn't even told him why._ Of course he didn't,_ Kurt thought in a state of misery. _We aren't close enough... I'm not a significant enough part of his day, and why would I be? And why should I be? I'm not Sebastian._

Kurt's spirits were lifted when Blaine wobbled into the room, almost in a daze. Kurt was far to happy to see him to wonder why. Besides, Blaine perked up once in the room and on his way to Kurt.

"Hey." Kurt greeted with a smile.

"Hello." Blaine's smile struck through Kurt's heart as he imagined all the times Blaine had been that genuinely happy to see him, only in a much different setting.

"How are you?" Kurt wondered trying to forget the years he'd spent with Blaine so he could focus on the present.

"I'm excellent." Although Kurt was thrilled that Blaine was so happy, he was a little disappointed that he wasn't the one who'd caused Blaine's happiness. "There's a showing of Shakespeare in the park tomorrow. Did you want to go with me?"

Kurt was so surprised by the offer that he almost choked on his own breath but he managed to smile and announce, "Of course!" before remembering he'd already made plans for tomorrow evening. "But I cant. Jerry is helping me with math tomorrow."

_If you ask, I will fail my test. It doesn't count for much anyways._

"Oh." Blaine thought for a moment but Kurt was somewhat relieved, somewhat disapponted that he didn't look at all bothered by Kurt's inability to spend extra time with him. "Maybe Wednesday then."

Kurt wanted to smile at the offer but remembered his plans with Mercedes. "Maybe," If he could think of a good reason to cancel on Mercedes, "I might be visiting Mercedes, if she's not being held up at glee club."

"Oh, is there..." But the teacher started talking so their attention was drawn to the front of the class.

Kurt was trying to desensitize himself to Blaine's presence so he wouldn't be so depressed knowing he didn't have such a strong connection to him anymore, so he wrote notes containing every- -often useless- -word the teacher said. To the point where his pen stopped working and he needed to borrow one from Blaine.

By the end of the class, the teacher was assigning them with projects due on Thursday only giving them tonight and tomorrow to work on them, but at least they got to be in pairs.

Kurt turned to Blaine, the only partner he ever wanted, and asked "Do you want to be partners?" Blaine was staring into space, as he had been all class, and didn't answer. "Blaine." Kurt snapped.

"What's up?" Blaine asked looking suddenly at Kurt with wide puppy-dog eyes that made Kurt want to pull him into his arms and never let go.

"Do you want to be my partner?" Kurt asked again, wanting to smile at the sight of his love's confusion.

"Oh, yes." Blaine answered immediately, then added "For what?"

"The assignment she _just_ assigned, weren't you listening?" Kurt couldn't maintain the smirk much longer as he wondered what could have had Blaine so preoccupied.

"Oh. I think I'm still hung over." Blaine tried and Kurt laughed only because he was so tense that it was the only thing he could do. Obviously it was a lie, he knew, but he figured Blaine would tell him in his own time. "Do you want to come to my house after school to work on it?"

"Sure. After Warbler practice." Kurt agreed.

* * *

Kurt could hardly wait for the Warbler practice to be over. He was unhappily aware of Sebastian's attempts to constantly block Kurt from getting close to Blaine which made the practice tedious and boring.

Blaine was of course the main singer, so Kurt just mouthed the words in the background, not caring to contribute more than his presence since it surely wasn't needed.

Then a boy Kurt vaguely remembered grabbed him by the hand and started dancing with him. Honestly, it was the sort of distraction Kurt was sure he needed. He smiled because finally he could think about something that wasn't Blaine or Sebastian.

"That was really fun." The boy praised when the song was over.

"Yes, it was." Kurt smiled in agreement.

"Why have we never danced together in here?" He wondered.

"I really don't know." And Kurt was fairly sure he'd never danced with this boy. He and Blaine had always gravitated to each other. Now he was too busy watching Blaine and Sebastian to notice much else. Maybe this could be a much needed distraction.

"You're Kurt, right?" He asked.

"I am." Kurt smiled a little bashfully. "I'm so sorry, I have the memory of a squirrel."

The other boy laughed rather loudly. "Austin."

"Right, I knew that." Kurt lied.

Austin seemed doubtful but never lost him smile. "Why don't we hang out sometime?"

"S-sure. That would be awesome." Kurt smiled knowing it would be an excellent distraction.

"Alright, let's call it a day guys!" Wes called suddenly. "We can pick this up tomorrow when we're all a little more rested."

"Oh, I guess that's it for today." Kurt laughed because he was feeling a little nervous, "But tomorrow we should sing a song together."

"We should. If you want to come over we could practice?" He offered.

"Oh, I'd love to but I'm going to Blaine's to work on a project. Maybe another day, though." Kurt suggested.

"That would be awesome! Here, I'll give you my number." Austin held out his hand for Kurt to give him his phone and put in his number. "Text me... I know this might be a little soon but, would you maybe want to go out on Friday?"

"Go out?" Kurt repeated in surprise. "As in...?"

"On a date?" He smiled. "Yes, if you are comfortable with that."

Kurt glanced at Blaine, as he naturally would, ready to explain that he already had a boyfriend but seeing Blaine kissing Sebastian made his blood boil and his heart clench. "Yes, I am."

They started building their plans for the weekend when Blaine walked over and said, "Hey."

"Ah, going to go study now?" Austin smiled seeing Blaine and gave Kurt a small flirtatious grin.

Blaine made a somewhat confused face as he listened.

"I will text you later, then." Austin promised.

"I can't wait." Kurt smiled, childishly happy that Blaine heard.

"What was that?" Kurt knew the tone in Blaine's voice and couldn't help but feel a little happiness that it was there.

"Oh, nothing, he just... wanted to talk." Kurt answered knowing Blaine's curiosity would drive him insane.

"Oh? I know that smile." Blaine grinned in excitement and Kurt momentarily wished he'd pushed to make him jealous rather than curious. _But why should he be jealous?_ "What does he want to talk about?"

"What were you and Sebastian talking about?" Kurt wondered assuming they were essentially the same thing.

"You and me going to my house." Blaine answered coolly.

"He didn't mind?" Kurt asked. He didn't know how much Blaine had told him about Friday night, but assumed it couldn't be much since Sebastian hadn't confronted him.

"Why would he mind?" Blaine asked, confusing Kurt a little.

They got into Kurts car and began driving home with Kurt quietly singing to a song on the radio until someone tried to stop him from merging.

"Why don't people know how to drive?" He moved to honk at them but Blaine took his hand to stop him. _Why do you always do that? Let me tell them they are stupid. _Kurt distracted himself from the bad drivers and from Blaine's warm touch by pre-planning their project. "I was thinking we could do our project on life in the depression."

"Why?" Blaine wondered but Kurt thought the answer was fairly obvious.

"Because Of Mice and Men is based in the depression."

"Would you date Austin?" Blaine wondered, Kurt wondered why he was interested. Did he want Kurt to find someone? Was he just curious? Kurt tried to shake out these thoughts. He just wants to be your friend. He was pretending he couldn't remember anything from Friday night because he didn't want Kurt to think he'd been serious. _Blaine _can't _drink enough to forget an entire night. He doesn't have that capacity. If he wants me to forget that he wanted me, I will._

Kurt laughed though, at the idea that maybe he could replace Blaine somehow. "I barely know him."

"He seemed to like you." Blaine observed.

"Do you think I should?" Kurt really wanted to know.

"No." Blaine answered and Kurt tried to stop the hopeful feeling inside. "I mean, if you want to then go for it but I don't think you should for no reason."

"It might be nice to date someone." Kurt considered, if he couldn't have Blaine, he also couldn't dwell on him forever. Especially since, as far as Blaine was concerned, they'd had no relationship. "I haven't had a boyfriend yet. And I mean... I should explore my options a little, right?"

"You shouldn't start dating someone just to have a boyfriend. You deserve better than that."

"I'm starting to feel desperate." Kurt was willing to take anyone who might distract him from Blaine. And Austin would work. He kind of gave him a bit of a Chandler vibe.

"Why?"

Kurt looked at Blaine and tried to forget that he loved him more than anything. That he was sure that Blaine was his soulmate even if the universe was determined to prove otherwise. But Kurt didn't want to risk making Blaine too uncomfortable to remain his friend by admitting his feelings before Blaine was ready, and he needed a break from constant disappointment and sorrow. "I'm tired of fighting for love, Blaine. I thought I knew my soul mate, but what if I was wrong? I can't keep fighting for something that's not meant to be, can I?"

Blaine looked curiously at him, "You don't know what's meant to be. Who did you think was your soul mate?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does." Blaine thought out loud "Is it someone I know?"

"Yes."

"Is he gay?" Racheal tested and proven.

"Yes."

"Is he single?"

"No." _Oh crap, why did I say that? He probably thinks I am an awful person._

Blaine struggled to respond and, considering their recent drama, Kurt shouldn't have been surprised that Blaine asked, "is it Sebastian?"

"Oh my god, Blaine!" Kurt couldn't understand why Blaine was unable to comprehend how much Kurt hated Sebastian. "For the last time, I'm not interested in Sebastian."

"You could tell me if you were, you know. I'd understand." Kurt glared at Blaine as he asked so Blaine continued, "Who is it then?"

Kurt refused to answer him and used his focus on parking out front of Blaine's house as an excuse as to why. When they were in his room, Kurt distracted them with their project which Blaine allowed Kurt to take charge of. After almost an hour of their working but never getting anywhere concrete, Kurt threw his hands in the air and complained, "This is going to take all night. We don't even know what we're doing yet, and it's been an hour."

"Let's take a break." Blaine suggested bringing a positive energy to Kurt's otherwise unhappy mood. "We can come back to this after we've done something that isn't school related."

"Like...? I have to be home by ten." Kurt noted, meaning that they'd need to get it done sooner rather than later.

"You can spend the night." Blaine offered and Kurt thought his heart might stop. Multiple fantasies passed through his mind, none would make his father very happy. Then his father came to mind. He'd just said no male sleepovers. Especially not Blaine. But this was for school, he knew he could use. Blaine continued as if trying to avoid confusing Kurt with what he'd asked for Friday. "You know, to work."

"S-sure." Kurt decided as he tried to think of what he'd tell his dad. "I'll just text my dad."

Kurt closed his books and smiled at Blaine while crossing his legs to be more comfortable.

"Are you happy, Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"Yes." Kurt answered, not sure of the question.

"Good." Blaine smiled. "I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy, too." Kurt said, "Which is why I would really like you to tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"I know you Blaine." _He almost looks like he did after callbacks._ "I know when something is wrong."

Blaine went into a train of thought as he considered his reply but didn't leave for a minute. Kurt watched curiously, wondering how Blaine was possibly still surprising him.

"Blaine." Kurt tried after about one minute. "Blaine!" Blaine'd heal tilted but not enough."_Blaine_!"

"Yes?" Blaine asked looking up as if no time had passed.

"Where did you go?" Kurt demanded starting to get annoyed because Blaine hadn't really been focusing all day. He'd ignored it at first, maybe Blaine was tired, but it had official reached a level of unusual.

"I was... I was right here." Blaine stammered, trying to act like everything was normal.

"You zoned out for like... a minute or so." Kurt objected, wondering what was troubling him _so_ much that he couldn't focus.

"What did you say before?" Blaine asked, mindlessly readjusting a textbook on his lap.

"I said I know that something is wrong." Kurt motioned to Blaine as if to show him that this behavior wasn't like him. At all. "What is it?"

Blaine thought for a moment then spoke. He didn't meet Kurt's eyes after the first few moments of speaking. "I... This might sound really weird but... I've been feeling really weird lately."

Blaine stared at Kurt's shoulder intently but didn't continue naturally so Kurt insisted, "Weird how?"

"I... Okay, can I ask you a question?" Blaine asked, grabbing the textbook on his lap and squeezing it in his hands as if it were a life preserver.

"Of course." Kurt wasn't sure he liked the direction of the conversation but was willing to have it anyways for Blaine. He didn't know about much that made Blaine nervous.

"It might be a little... awkward, or uncomfortable..." Blaine met Kurt's eyes for a fleeting moment before his eyes moved back down to Kurt's chest. _Is that the closest he can manage to looking at me...? Oh my God... Is he finally going to tell me he wants me? Can I ask him to break up with Sebastian, had he been serious about that?!_

"I'm listening." Kurt waited, watching Blaine struggle intently and patiently, hoping that maybe- -just maybe- -Blaine would want him.

Suddenly all of the awkwardness left his body and he met Kurt's eyes confidently, "Sebastian wants to have sex."

"Oh." _So... it's not about me... No, of course not. Why would it be? You're just a friend to him... Ugh, I can't believe I let myself hope for such a... I'm going to text Austin. I need something to distract me. I can't keep having my heart ripped out. _The realization that maybe Blaine was nervous because he felt guilty stopped Kurt's thoughts in the spot. "A-a-and h-ave you?"

"No, not yet." Kurt was able to breathe again which was new.

"Good." Kurt stated with more force than he'd meant to. Then clarified to not make things awkward, "You shouldn't have sex until marriage. After marriage even, is it getting hot in here, I'll open a window."

Kurt started to get up but Blaine stopped him with a motion so natural, Kurt wondered if Blaine was aware of it. "I'm not sure I believe in that." Blaine smirked. _No, no, no, no, Blaine, please believe in that, or something, you can't trust Sebastian, he'll be gone a week later or cheat on you, you can't handle that._ "And to be clear, I'm not sure I want to have sex with Sebastian either."

Kurt relaxed by this a bit, pleased that he wouldn't have to explain everything to Blaine that he'd needed to explain to himself after Eli. C. Maybe the hurt wouldn't be that bad, Kurt considered, because Sebastian and Blaine weren't as close.

"Oh."

"But I still... I'm all for masturbation. I think it's good to express your sexuality in safe, healthy ways. But I don't want to be that guy who has to do it every 12 hours to be a functional member of society." Blaine explained, and Kurt nodded for a moment until he remembered the last few times they'd had conversations like this and the first few times. Kurt glanced down at the textbook and noticed how securely Blaine held it over his lap. _Was he... No... He couldn't... that wasn't like him... But...?_

Kurt tried to remain calm as multiple options crossed his mind. He could offer to help him if he was having a problem... there... or he could just start kissing Blaine as he would in his time. But Blaine wouldn't like that, or at least a small part of Kurt rooting for Blaine's decency hoped he wouldn't._ Blaine doesn't have problems like that. He knows how to control himself... Unless I somehow managed to change that too. I'm so sorry, I broke you Blaine. _"I think... I think I screwed up." Kurt decided then that he had no clear idea how Blaine would react to anything he did because he didn't know this version of Blaine well enough. He'd scarcely cared to learn about him because he assumed he already knew him. Now he was being proven wrong. He couldn't assume Blaine's behaviors, or wants, or expectations. But how had a few months changed him so much? "You're... different... now and I don't know if I know how to fix that."

"What do you mean?" Blaine seemed a little nervous so Kurt decided to handle it the same way he would if it were Sam or Finn.

"I can't... Blaine... I think you have ketchup in your hair. I don't know how you got it there, but you should take a shower. I'll be downstairs making pasta. Okay?" Maybe he could correct himself if given the chance. Maybe he'd been repressing his urges? Or maybe he'd been thinking about it too much. Maybe he and Sebastian had been fooling around somewhere and Blaine still hadn't cooled down. Kurt shook his head because he didn't want to know.

Somehow, Blaine was oblivious to Kurt's suggestion and tried feeling his hair for ketchup despite having a clearly strong sense that there was none.

"_Take a shower, Blaine_." Kurt demanded in a tone meant to suggest there was no room for negotiation before standing and marching out. When he was outside the room he stopped, and fell to the floor against the wall of the hallway with tears falling from his eyes.

_I'm so sorry Blaine... I'm so sorry... I should have been here... I'm so sorry. Now everything's gone because of me._

He struggled to calm himself, and tried to listen to the muffled sound of the shower through the wall as if the falling water could sooth him. He wanted Blaine to sooth him, but his Blaine was gone.

It might have been in a moment of anger after the tears stopped forming, but Kurt pulled out his phone and first texted Racheal to ask her to tell his dad, if he asked, that he was at her house. Then he texted his dad saying Racheal was having trouble and needed him to stay over, to which he was fairly sure his dad doubted. Then he texted Austin. He would have preferred Chandler but he hadn't met Chandler yet. The thought of Chandler, if he did it right, was a significant distraction from the pain of the moment.

Austin replied rather quickly and flirtatiously, which made Kurt happy. Again, not to the same degree that had made him happy with Chandler, but he would live. Then he realized that he knew what school Chandler was from. Maybe... he'd never have to explain to Blaine why this was wrong... he could actually see if it might work out between them. For a bit anyways. He hadn't fully lost hope he could win Blaine eventually.

Kurt stood, wiped his face, and continued to text Austin as a distraction while he walked downstairs and started making gnoochi, only because it could be made fast enough that Blaine wouldn't realize Kurt had spent most of his time crying over him.

Kurt was liking the attention he got from Austin, but he knew that was the only connection they had. He'd still try the date with him, but he went onto Facebook on his phone and added Chandler, getting approved as a friend and a message, _Hey cutie, have we met?_

Kurt smiled at his phone, knowing how much this would bother his Blaine. But what other choice did he have? He couldn't sit in agony and watch Blaine forever! He needed someone to distract him. And maybe, if Blaine realized Kurt wasn't interested in Sebastian, he'd lower a wall and talk more freely with him. Maybe Finn was right, Kurt thought. Maybe he was coming onto Blaine too strong, and pushing him away as a response. He didn't know what this Blaine liked or how he thought. Kurt only thought he did.

**_We met a few weeks ago, you gave me your number but I lost it... I get it if you don't remember. ~Kurt. _**Kurt wasn't sure how he'd become so good at lying.

_**No, of course I remember! How are you? ~ Chandler**_

Kurt smiled a little to himself but luckily, just as he remembered, Chandler maintained a strong conversation that Kurt didn't need to moderate. He didn't have a boyfriend to think about. He could respond to Chandler how he wanted to, not that he hadn't abused a few small freedoms the first time around.

"Thank you." Blaine said announcing his arrival. Kurt put his phone down beside him and focused on the pasta. "Kurt..."

"Yeah?" Kurt asked.

"I have something to tell you." Kurt glanced at Blaine curiously and willing to hear anything Blaine might want to tell him. He craved it. "About Friday."

This stopped Kurt's heart for a moment. He shook his head as he thought of every possible thing Blaine would say. _No, I can't... I can't. Unless he's going to say he meant what he was saying, my heart can't take this. I'll break down again._ "How about we talk about something else?"

"It's real quick." Blaine noted.

"I kind of want to forget about it, to be completely honest." _I need to forget your body on mine, your lips on mine, you wanting me and asking for me. I need to stop overthinking why you refused to go home with Sebastian, I can understand why if you were that... ready but not to have sex with him. Smart choice. I applaud you for it but please..._Kurt tried to keep a neutrally pleasant expression on his face so Blaine wouldn't feel too bad. His Blaine, at least, would still be dwelling on everything he did wrong and demanding Kurt's opinion on what he'd done, _and_ what he was proud of.

"Are you sure there is nothing I should apologize for?" Kurt knew what he was talking about but rejected the small piece of hope that his Blaine was still alive somewhere in this one. If his Blaine was at all in this one, he was dwelling on what he did. Probably because he kissed Kurt. His Blaine wouldn't deny it, though. "Because I feel like maybe I should."

"Nope." Kurt decided because he couldn't take the heartache. He would allow Blaine his ignorance. "Nothing significant."

"A-alright." Blaine continued. "But I _am_ sorry for how I acted. My behavior was inappropriate and unforgivable, I'm sure. It shouldn't have been your job to babysit me."

Kurt couldn't help but smile, but again refused to feel the hope that his Blaine still existed. He would willing love this Blaine in his place, but would need to really get to know him better. "I don't mind taking care of you, Blaine... Can you pass me the colander?"

* * *

They talked as Kurt worked on their projects. Mindlessly almost, which Kurt repeatedly glancing at his phone so he could reply to Chandler. Blaine noticed but didn't comment, and Kurt wasn't sure how to read his face. If it was a desire to focus, Kurt knew this wasn't a problem.

But going to bed was a little awkward. To un-tempt himself with the memories of their future-history, Kurt slept with his back turned to Blaine. He didn't want to see him as he mentally relived every moment he could with his Blaine. He remembered every smile, every hug, every song, every kiss. He mentally wished Blaine was with him now. He imagined over and over that Blaine would suddenly put a hand on his shoulder, roll him over and say "hey Kurt." with a large, love struck smile on his face.

He wished what had happened to him would also happen to Blaine so that, even if they had to relive their younger years, they could relive them together. He was fairly certain that behind him Blaine was struggling to sleep also, but he didn't want to roll over and confront him. He wanted to quietly imagine his Blaine would come to him.

_I'll wake up and Blaine will be there. I'll wake up and Blaine will be there._ How had he gotten into this situation? Was he supposed to be doing something to get out? How could he know?

Neither Blaine nor Kurt slept much that night and rather than stay up to talk together, they lay quietly in bed contemplating the other. In the morning, although both were partially awake when the alarm went off, both waiting until it rang to get ready for school, then decided to go to the Lima Bean since they both needed caffeine more than food.

Kurt tried desperately to see Blaine as an original rather than a younger version of Kurt's soul mate, but it was difficult, especially when he acted cute, clueless, and innocent as he was that morning.

"Didn't sleep well?" Blaine wondered and Kurt momentarily feared that he'd woken Blaine up. Or maybe it was just fairly obvious by his face that something was wrong.

"Yeah, it's fine." Kurt answered honestly. _He should know me if I want to know him. _"I was just... overthinking, maybe."

"Really?" _How could he have so much energy?_ "What were you thinking about?"

"I had a really weird dream." Kurt decided thinking maybe he could tell him about their future if he framed it as a dream or story rather than trying to pass it off like a fact. _But... Finn understood rather easily..._

Blaine didn't have a chance to push further because Burt arrived, which Kurt thought was a little well timed, and greeted, "hey boys. So strange running into the _both_ of you here so early in the morning."

_Oh, dad, you are oh so obvious. My story won't change... Plus, I'm an adult now whether you know it or not, and I won't lower myself to teenage level... immaturity is expected of anyone under 25... And I'm being stubborn not immature._

"Blaine's house is on the way, I agreed to pick him up, right Blaine?" Kurt replied without a second thought knowing Blaine could easily destroy the lie if he was allowed to speak first.

"Is that so, Blaine?" Burt looked at Blaine expecting him to be honest, and he probably would have been very transparent if the question hadn't confused him.

"Y-yeah, my house is on the way." Kurt thought it was very obvious that Blaine didn't understand where is house was on the way too, but wouldn't correct Burt.

"Hm." Burt pushed, expecting Kurt to falter, "How's Racheal? Feeling better?"

"Yeah. She's upset that I wasn't Finn though." Kurt replied casually.

"Rules are rules for both of you. Are you coming home tonight, though?" Burt asked, apparently accepting what Kurt had said.

"Yeah, I think so." Kurt answered. He wanted to look to Blaine to know for sure but didn't want his dad to start investigating where he'd been last night.

"Okay, have a good day at school then, Blaine, always a pleasure." Burt surrendered before leaving.

Once he was out the door, Kurt answered the questions he was sure Blaine would ask, "Carol saw you on Friday night and told my dad. Now we have a rule that I can't sleepover with boys and Finn can't sleepover with girls."

"So you told him you were staying at Racheals house." Blaine understood.

"Yes." Kurt smiled a little, but felt hope creeping back into his mind and pushed it away aggressively.

"I didn't think you could lie." Kurt noticed something in Blaine's voice but wasn't sure what it was so he left it.

Back in the car Blaine asked, "So what was your dream about?"

"What?" Kurt had decided he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"The one that kept you awake?"

"Oh." Kurt shrugged, not wanting to scare Blaine away with talk of engagement and their long lasting love they'd been sure would last for ages. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Why not? I tell you everything." Kurt really hoped that wasn't the case because he had really started feeling like he didn't know Blaine at all.

Kurt smirked and wished he'd phrased it as something other than a dream. "You'll think it's weird."

"No I won't."

"You're dating Sebastian." Kurt noted. And surely it wouldn't make him feel comfortable to have Kurt conveniently forget that.

"I'm breaking up with him." Kurt almost thought he'd imagined the words when Blaine said them. He waited a moment to replay them in his head then gasped, "_What_?"

"I'm... going to... break up with Sebastian." _He's_... the hope suddenly flooded back into Kurt with a force he wouldn't have allowed and he couldn't maintain it.

"Why?" He needed to know this. He wasn't sure exactly what his voice sounded like to Blaine, and he wanted to be sympathetic, but it was hard when Kurt was so unbelievably happy... But maybe he'd found someone else. Someone who wasn't Kurt either. Kurt tried to remind himself of that knowing how painful it would be if and when the hope was pulled suddenly from him, or smothered.

"I've been thinking about it for a while." Blaine explained. "But Friday night was kind of my last straw. I don't want to be the kind of person who goes out and gets out of control. Alcohol isn't an excuse. And when I'm with him I always seem to be my worst self. It's not his fault, I know, but I'd think I need to re-grasp who I am on my own for a bit."

_OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!_

Kurt tried to control himself, remembering how long after Jerome... Jeda... Jeremiah Blaine had taken to realize he had feelings for Kurt, and that was after knowing how willing Kurt was. He couldn't expect any different and now Blaine would need even more time. And Kurt didn't just want to prep him into being his own boyfriend. Plus, how could he know Blaine would react the same... he still could have a back up planned.

"Do you agree?" Blaine wondered sounding a little unsure which made Kurt's stomach turn. He could still back out.

"Oh, yes. I think you s-should do whatever is best for you. When are you going to tell him?" _Do you want me to tell him with you? I can tell him for you if you really need. Can you record what he says and does? Screw you, Sebastian._

"I'm not sure, I keep putting it off." Blaine replied.

"You shouldn't wait too long." Kurt answered more for himself than Blaine. "The longer you put it off, the more messy it will be."

"Tell me about this dream." Blaine attempted but Kurt couldn't focus on that. "I won't find it weird."

He didn't need to tell Blaine anything. He didn't need to convince him they were meant to be. "It seems a little stupid now."

"All dreams are stupid." Blaine stated almost excitedly. "I had a dream I was a pumpkin. What was yours."

Kurt laughed, nervously happy as he pulled into school. "I'll tell you about it later." But he didn't need to anymore. Not if Blaine could really end it with Sebastian.

Kurt continued to text Chandler, and occasionally Austin when he texted him, as a distraction from Blaine. He knew waiting idle would drive him insane, and he couldn't keep texting Blaine about it because it made him too nervous. Occasionally, though, Blaine would text him for advice on how.

_**Do it like a bandaid... Just rip it off, get it over with ~ Kurt**_

_**He says he's had a really bad day. Should I wait? ~Blaine**_

_**The longer you wait, the more excuses you'll come up with ~ Kurt **_

_**Thank you xo ~ Blaine**_

Kurt had to take a breath and turn to his homework because he couldn't stomach the feelings he was having. Although he'd spent this part of the year at McKinnley, the homework covered generally the same topics and was therefore repetitive and didn't take too much of Kurt's focus.

By the end of the day, Kurt was fairly certain they hadn't broken up. In Warblers practice Kurt danced, and sang a song, with Austin but after informed him that he thought it would be better if they remained friends. And after school he practiced for his math test as planned while checking his phone every three minutes for an update from Blaine. By the end of the night, he surrendered all hope and went to bed with tear stained cheeks, angry that he'd even fantasied the idea of him and Blaine again so soon.

He was not depressed when he went to school, but also not happy. Burt had informed him that McKinnley had opened a _Bully Whips_ group led by Santana and Korofsky and the school wanted to talk to them about returning. Kurt, beaten down and rather preferring the bullying to the constant reminders of what he'd lost, agreed to the sit down.

Kurt had actually gotten Finn to give Santana the idea so that he could return sooner, and informed Finn that Korofsky was gay which Finn had a hard time comprehending and, Kurt feared, keeping it a secret. He'd told Finn to leave the tiniest hints for Santana to pick up, and to not actually tell her. He'd originally tried to have Finn leave Santana the hints without Finn knowing what he was hinting, but Finn kept missing the point.

Kurt avoided Blaine and waited for the end of the week when he could meet at McKinnley and hopefully return. He wasn't sure if Korofsky had changed as much, and frankly he didn't care. Right now, he was feeling like Korofsky could kill him and it would be doing him a favour.

Kurt was waiting in the courtyard for Mercedes to text him when glee was over. It might run late but Kurt didn't care. He was willing to wait. He needed a shoulder to cry on and she'd always been one of his first choices.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kurt didn't have time to look up when he was pushed into the school wall and held there by his collar. He looked up, ready to complain but realized he was face to face with a very angry Sebastian. "You told him to dump me? Did you really think I'd be okay with that?"

Sebastian lifted his fist to punch Kurt who spoke faster than he could swing, "Have fun getting expelled."

Sebastian hesitated then, enough that Kurt could try to push him away but he was shoved into the wall again.

"What the hell did you say to him?" Sebastian demanded. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Sebastian." Both Sebastian and Kurt looked over Sebastians shoulder at Blaine marching angrily over. "Stop it. Kurt had nothing to do with this. It was my choice."

"Oh, the hell he had nothing to do with it. You wouldn't break up with me." Sebastian spat at Kurt who waited casually against the wall Sebastian held him to.

Blaine pushed Sebastian's arms away then looked up at him angrily. "I said we should try taking a break for a while, but now I'm thinking it should be a clean break up."

"What the hell did he say to you, Blaine?!" Sebastian demanded. They'd attracted a small audience.

"_Nothing_!" Blaine snapped. "But I'm sick of always trying to be to your standard. And I'm tired of always doubting my place in your life and I don't like who I am with you, and beyond that, I don't actually need to explain why I don't want to be with you anymore."

"You're expect me to believe Kurt had no part in this?!" Sebastian demanded.

"No, but you know what?" Blaine asked then turned to Kurt, grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss that shocked Kurt to his core. Not that he minded it of course, and it woke him up a little inside, though he wished it didn't. "And, we've slept together... _twice_. Let's go."

Blaine grabbed Kurt by the hand and dragged him towards the parking lot, with Kurt trailing behind saying, "In a platonic way." To the spectators, hoping to salvage Blaine's reputation a small amount.

* * *

**Sorry if the end of this chapter seems a little rushed. I was trying to get it out fast and will update. But please let me know what you liked and didn't like so I can fix it in the updates! Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter will hopefully be soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Smut**_

**A****ftermath**

2009

Kurt didn't say much as he and Blaine sat in the car. Blaine was glaring at the road ahead with his arms crossed over his chest. Most of the drive was silent but then Blaine started venting.

"I can't believe he would do that!" He snapped. "I told him I wanted privacy and he announced it to the whole school!"

"It wasn't the whole school." Kurt noted quietly.

"Don't defend him, Kurt." Blaine spat.

"I'm not." Kurt breathed.

"I don't understand how he changed so much! When I met him, he was the calmest person I could have known. But how dare he do that to you?! And how little he thinks of me?" Blaine looked at Kurt then, "Did you know, he told me I wasn't going to get a second chance with him. Why would I want to? Does he really think I need him so much in my life?"

Kurt didn't answer. He was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to.

"And another thing, I think he cheated on me. He didn't admit it but he kept reminding me of these other guys who'd wanted him who he rejected, and apparently one had a really good mouth, and I _don't know_ what that means but it sounded dirty, and we started dating shortly after he got to Dalton so how else would he have gotten the time to get together?" Blaine noticed the direction Kurt was driving then and said, "I don't want to go home."

"W-where do you want to go?"

"With you." Blaine snapped, then added quickly, "If that's okay with you."

Kurt hesitated. Should he take this as an opportunity to be with Blaine? Or should he at least comfort him in a time of need? But this time was supposed to be his to get Mercedes's help... _Can you really think more about yourself than what Blaine needs?_

"I'll need to text Mercedes." Kurt decided. "And tell her you're coming."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's phone quickly and started moving through it. His tense posture changed suddenly and his eyes widened. "Who's Chandler?"

"Oh... I met him online." Kurt answered.

"You guys... text a lot." Blaine mused.

"Are you going through my phone?" Kurt wasn't insulted as much as surprised.

"No, he just sent you three messages... about how great your butt is." Blaine noted.

"Can you tell Mercedes that we're bringing Blaine?" Kurt asked, suddenly worried that he might have said something to her something about Blaine, but he was fairly sure he had not.

"Do you want me to text Chandler back, also?" Blaine wondered.

"If you would like." Kurt answered after a moment of hesitation. "Do you know what to send?"

"I think I get the idea." There was a little bit of a harsh undertone to his voice but Kurt shrugged it off as anger at Sebastian.

* * *

Mercedes acted thrilled to see Blaine, not realizing that Blaine had been the one to answer her "prep-boy" comment when learning he was coming. Blaine smiled regardless and greeted her happily. They'd decided to meet at Bread Sticks where

"Are you in a good place to join our pity-party, Blaine-Warbler?" Mercedes wondered.

"More than ready." Blaine nodded stepping passed her to take his seat. Kurt sat beside him, closer than maybe he should have out of habit but Blaine didn't seem to mind.

Mercedes interrogated Blaine about his break up with Sebastian, all the while acting like Kurt hadn't told her as much as he could manage over the phone, and pretending she'd heard very little about Sebastian from Kurt at all.

"Well, I'm glad I finally got to spend some time with Kurts new bestie." Mercedes grinned, giving Kurt a sharply suggestive look. "Especially since it might be the last time I get to see you."

"Why's that?" Blaine wondered.

"Well, I just assumed with Kurt coming back to McKinley, you guys would spend a little less time together." Mercedes answered, dodging their glances expertly.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked.

"Mercedes." Kurt hissed.

"Kurt, what is she talking about?" Blaine inquired.

"The principal is setting up a meeting Friday so that I can return to McKinley." Kurt answered, giving Mercedes a dark glare as he did.

"W-what about Korofsky?" Blaine wondered.

"He and Santana are starting a bully whips program to prevent bullying." Mercedes explained.

"That's ridiculous!" Blaine snapped. "Korofsky was the main problem! They expect him to have stopped and decided to go anti-bully in one month?"

"Well, Santana is helping him." Kurt explained while feeling a little touched that Blaine was acting so defensively in his behave.

"Wasn't Santana one of your friends?" Blaine continued. "Why is she helping him?"

_Because I want her to_, "Because she missed me." Kurt replied.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kurt!" Blaine tried. "I mean, I know you've missed your friends a little but Dalton doesn't allow people to transfer in and out every few months. If it doesn't get better, Dalton might not let you back in!"

"I think it will get better." Kurt said, mostly certain. He also hadn't expected Blaine to have changed so much, so maybe he couldn't judge anything.

"So you're really thinking of going?" Blaine asked and Kurt wished he couldn't see passed Blaines cool, slightly judgmental expression and into the pain behind his eyes. Why would his leaving be so bad? He wasn't leaving Blaine. "I mean... I'm happy for you. I want you to be happy. But what if it isn't safe?"

"My dad will be watching, I have friends there who know now that it was serious, and I still have you, right?" Kurt answered putting a hand on Blaine's thigh from habit more than anything else.

Blaine glanced down a moment but didn't stop him.

"Does Chandler go to McKinnley?" Blaine inquired a little hotly.

"Who's Chandler?" Mercedes asked but was ignored.

"What does this have to do with Chandler?" Kurt demanded.

"I just think it's a little funny how you start talking to this guy and next thing I know you're moving back after."

"I guess I don't need to exist anymore, guys." Mercedes groaned.

"I'm going to a meeting about moving back a-and wait a minute... are you jealous?!" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"Why would I be jealous?!" Blaine snapped. "You don't even know this guy! He has none of the history we do."

"We have history?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Blaine insisted, ignoring the question.

"Because it all happened so soon." Kurt skidded around the truth. "And you were so busy with Sebastian and honestly, I didn't expect you to mind much."

"Of course I mind, Kurt! Yo-... You're my best friend."

"You're mine." Kurt responded. "And that won't change. _If_ I go back, I'll see you as much as I can." _But I'm going back._

Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt's but didn't reply any verbal form. Kurt glanced down at the arm Blaine hugged loosely and noticed it was placed very high on Blaine's thigh with his fingers wrapping into Blaine's inner leg. Kurt was about to move his hand until he realized that Blaine had not. He looked up at Blaine both curious and skeptical, but Blaine met his eyes with a calmness that confounded and intrigued Kurt.

They managed to pull away from one another's eyes though, and return their attention to Mercedes who watched them both interested and annoyed.

"What is going on in you're life, Mercedes?" Kurt wondered. After a few moments of careful consideration, she started going.

* * *

The drive from Bread Sticks was quiet and Kurt wasn't sure where he was going. He didn't think, only drove, but Blaine didn't seem to mind. Kurt finally stopped at an empty parking lot with a slight view of Lima. Neither said anything for a minute. The only sound was the quiet echo of the radio.

Kurt was the first one to speak, but all he could say was "you-" before Blaine turned to him, grabbed his face, and pulled him into an almost desperate kiss. Kurt didn't argue or push away from him. Kurt moved his hands down Blaine's body to his hips where he intended to pull Blaine onto his lap, before remembering they were in a car and the steering wheel would get in their way.

Blaine didn't share this concern. He pulled Kurt over so that he was perched over Blaine's lap and wrapped his arms around him tight enough to hold Kurt to his chest.

"Blaine." Kurt moaned in protest over his lips, letting his body relax a little over Blaine's and allowing himself to melt into him.

"No, Kurt." Blaine objected, deepening his kiss as he started removing Kurt's jacket. Then his vest, before returning his hands to the back of Kurt's neck, and to one of his arms.

Kurt was afraid of letting Blaine go too far into his own fantasies because he didn't trust he'd be able to emotionally handle loving Blaine once and letting him move on. Kurt wanted to, very much, but wanted to be smarter. Still, he'd experienced it before and he wanted it again. After every kiss he'd think just one more, as he allowed himself to imagine what being with Blaine again would feel like. His body responded rather quickly to the thoughts, which Blaine willingly accepted as approval.

He began pulling off his own shirt but Kurt put up his hands to stop him, pulling his mouth away from Blaine's just enough to give them separation.

"Why?" Blaine breathed, opening his eyes a little to look up at Kurt. "Why not?"

"You _just_ broke up with Sebastian." Kurt answered just as breathlessly.

"It was over long ago." Blaine argued. "This is not a rebound."

"Blaine..." Kurt groaned, shifting his weight to get off Blaine. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hips and held him in spot leaning upward so their faces would be close again.

"Kurt... I don't want to wreck our friendship." Blaine clarified.

"Neither do I." Kurt agreed. Part of him wanted to pull away, part of him wanted to push closer.

"But I also can't keep myself from telling you this. So please, if you cannot feel the same, just forget I said anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"I like you, Kurt, and not just as my friend. I mean, of course I like you as my friend, but you mean so much more to me than that. I have never felt about anyone the way I do about you. I'm sure I'm not your ideal boyfriend. I know you could do a lot better but I promise, if you gave me a chance, I would do everything in my power to make it worth it."

"What are you asking me?" Kurt asked because his mind had become too fuzzy to think straight.

"Will you go out with me?" Blaine wondered with a certain voice, his fingers digging nervously into Kurt's hips.

"Yes." Kurt answered without giving it a moment of thought. Maybe, he realized after, he should have but his instincts didn't see a problem in their being together.

"Really?" Blaine's face brightened in relief, disbelief, and excitement.

"Yes... Yes, of course." Kurt pulled Blaine to him once more and kissed him.

"I-I don't usually do this on the first date." Blaine stated against Kurt's lips. "Just to be clear."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kurt replied, pulling off his shirt as he kissed Blaine. Blaine's lips then began sliding side ways until the point Kurt's cheek met his jaw and lower ear.

"I really don't." he vowed in Kurt's ear before biting it lightly and kissing down his jaw to Kurt's neck.

"_Trust me, I know_." Kurt groaned dropping his shirt to the floor. "Let's get in the back. There's more space."

Blaine was about to argue but Kurt had already climbed into the back so Blaine followed. Once in the back, Kurt immediately started pulling at Blaine's pants, to Blaine's surprise and pleasure. He didn't mind and started pulling off his own shirt and bow tie.

"Kurt." Blaine groaned in protest as Kurt started kissing down his stomach. Kurt looked up, curious and a little annoyed that Blaine was now stopping them, but he knew the look on Blaine's face fairly well. Kurt repressed the urge to roll his eyes and moved before Blaine could speak to the front console of the car where he'd put a couple condoms just before going to the bar Friday night, just in case. Clearly, he'd been right to do so. Blaine closed his eyes and let his head fall back after watching Kurt rip open a condom with his teeth, and holding it lightly between his lips as he moved over Blaine's hips, opened his pants and rolled it on.

Then he lowered his face back to Blaine's stomach and kissed his abs down to his hips, then he continued to kiss the V of his hips as he pulled Blaine's already open pants down to his knees and let Blaine kick them the rest of the way off. Kurt started pulling at his boxers until Blaine's erection was free of them. Then he lowered his lips to Blaine's base and started kissing him. Blaine groaned, looking up again to Kurt leaving a trail of kisses up his shaft. Blaine absentmindedly put a hand onto Kurt's head as Kurt wrapped his lips around Blaine and started lowering himself with a confidence that made Blaine blush.

He was almost speechless as he watched Kurt, who swore he'd never done anything, and never even watched porn, seemed to expertly fit Blaine into his mouth and start bobbing his head. First a little slowly but then gaining momentum. "Oh-my-god-Kurt!" Kurt thought it almost sounded like a question which made him smirk as he looked up to see Blaine's shocked yet satisfied expression. "What the-... Kurt..."

Blaine's reaction gave Kurt the inspiration to suck faster and deeper than he had been as Blaine's moans filled the car. "God, I wasn't expecting... how... _Uhhhh_"

Kurt waited until Blaine was fairly close to his orgasm to pull away, making Blaine whimper loudly in disappointment. Kurt sat up over Blaine and smirked down at the breathlessly flustered boy. Kurt wiped his mouth on the back of his arm before lowering his face back down to Blaine's and kissing him heavily. Blaine reached forward and grabbed Kurt's condom covered cock rubbing it lightly at first, then a little faster.

"We need something." Kurt told Blaine.

"What?" Blaine asked, a little annoyed that they had enough space between them to talk.

Kurt hesitated then made a face that worried Blaine for a moment, especially as Kurt pulled away and started going through everything in the front of the car.

"What are you doing?" Blaine wondered, a little upset that Kurt had become distracted by something that wasn't him.

"Something we can use as lubricant." Kurt answered.

Blaine laughed, "Why would you have lube in your car?"

"I don't know,"

"Is it really that important?"

"I don't want to offend you Blaine, but it's been a really long day, and you haven't showered yet so I can't say I really want to lick your asshole."

Blaine hesitated with a growing smirk on his face, then pulled Kurt back so he was sitting in the back seat and lowered his face to Kurt's waist. Then he put his lips over Kurt and started to explore him with his mouth. Kurt was surprised but pleased by this none-the-less, and sat back to enjoy as Blaine figured out what he was doing.

Blaine glanced up at Kurt almost nervously was he tried to mimic what Kurt had done a minute before. He hoped Kurt would be as satisfied as he had been, and based on Kurt's deep groans of enjoyment, he was. Kurt leaned against the car door as Blaine's head bobbed over his pelvis and one hand resting on the back of Blaine's neck while the other reached for support from the back of the seat.

Blaine lifted his head suddenly, and spit a few times on Kurt's tip before putting his mouth back over him. After another moment he sat up and looked at Kurt curiously. Kurt, breathing heavy, took a moment but then put his mouth back onto Blaine's and leaned him back so he was laying under him. The kiss didn't break as Kurt opened Blaine's legs and positioned himself between. Then he lifted Blaine's hips slightly and placed his tip at Blaine's entrance.

Kurt pulled his lips away from Blaine's just enough so that he could still feel his breath. "Ready?"

Blaine nodded, keeping his eyes mostly closed as he tried to drink in all of Kurt. "Yes."

Kurt thought for a moment that maybe he should ask again if this was Blaine's reaction to breaking up with someone less than six hours earlier, but he knew they were mean to be together forever, and he didn't mind starting a little early.

Kurt held up Blaine by his hips slightly while leaning back in to kiss him and easing himself into Blaine slowly. Blaine gasped over his lips but Kurt continued. Once half-way inside he started lightly thrusting in and out at half of his length to allow Blaine to get used to him. Kurt continued kissing him as his head started falling back and he started groaning and gasping over his lips. Then Kurt started kissing Blaine's jaw and down his neck as his hips very light thrust a little deeper into Blaine.

Blaine released a loud cry as Kurt did, and dug his fingers deep into Kurt's back as he tried to pull them closer together. Kurt looked up to make sure it was a cry of pleasure, and when he was sure it was, he reached between their bodies to grab Blaine's erection and start rubbing him. Kurt whimpered, missing the feeling of Blaine wrapped around him. Kurt started slowly pushing himself a little deeper into Blaine, hearing Blaine cry out in response.

Kurt continued thrusting and rubbing him until Blaine came, shooting onto their mostly connected chests. "_Oh_ God, Kurt, _please_!"

Kurt continued kissing Blaine, holding out for as long as he could before pausing to enjoy his orgasm.

"Oh my god." Kurt groaned, letting his body collapse on top of Blaine's without pulling out or worrying that Blaine wouldn't be able to hold him.

They hugged one another for a while, allowing themselves to get comfortable with the others proximity and enjoying together the shockwaves of their shared pleasure. Neither spoke, or wanted to ruin the bliss they'd found.

Blaine was the first to make a sound, groaning in disappointment as Kurt finally pulled out of him. He pulled off the condom and tied it up before putting it aside. Then he moved to the front of the car again and grabbed another condom. Blaine watched with highly invested eyes as Kurt opened it and slid it over Blaine.

"What are you-" But Blaine stopped because he understood. Kurt pulled him up so they were sitting face to face and started kissing him again.

"You ready?" Kurt asked over Blaine's lips but it was a very different question than last time. Blaine nodded as Kurt leaned down to take Blaine into his mouth as Blaine had with him. When his cock was hard and wet enough, Kurt sat up and positioned himself over Blaine's seated lap.

"How have you never done this before?" Blaine wondered in disbelief.

"You're my first, Blaine." Kurt vowed. "I just feel very comfortable with you."

Blaine nodded in either acceptance or agreement, Kurt wasn't sure, and groaned as Kurt started lowering himself. "Oh my-_Kurt_!"

Kurt started riding him slowly, forgetting for a moment that this body wasn't as used to Blaine as he thought he was. He didn't mind getting lower faster, though, remembering fairly clearly what this felt like. He rode Blaine with hesitation but confidence, wanting to pull away a little to focus but Blaine held their bodies together, taking more lead now and pulling Kurt's face into his.

Blaine met Kurt's thrusts being a little less careful than Kurt was, and smiling as Kurt gasped into his mouth.

"_Blaine_..." Kurt moaned. "B-B-_la._.."

"You feel so good." Blaine panted, kissing Kurt all over his face.

"You feel so good." Kurt agreed nodding and letting his head fall back so Blaine could have easier access to his neck. Kurt wanted to also tell Blaine that he loved him, something that always made his Blaine smile, but this Blaine might not view it with the same joy.

"_Kurt_!" Blaine groaned as his body tensed but he continued being ridden by Kurt.

"Please." Kurt begged as he continued to ride Blaine harder. He was certain they could go longer if Blaine could last just a little longer. "Please, Blaine."

But Blaine, not sure exactly what Kurt was asking for, started rubbing Kurt's erection which had softened but was coming back against their stomachs.

"Kurt, I'm going to... _uhh_." Blaine tensed, then relaxed but Kurt continued riding him and after a moment, Blaine weakly continued also, until Kurt also came.

Kurt pulled off of Blaine so he could discard of his used condom, then they lay together, kissing lightly, not speaking. They didn't think there was anything that needed to be said that could ruin the blissful moment.

They continued to let their hands slowly explore the other's body as their lips remained connected and their eyes shut in relaxation.

"We need to go home." Kurt breathed after what felt like an hour. He sat up and started to pull on his pants again.

"It's only... how is it 10pm?" Blaine asked looking at his phone.

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine, surprising him a little. The surprise worried Kurt for a moment. _Maybe it does mean less to him than it did to me_.

But Blaine leaned once more into Kurt and started kissing him. Hopelessly and desperately.

"Blaine... Blaine... Blaine..." Kurt protested, finally laughing and pushing Blaine off him, "We do have to go."

"You're amazing." Blaine breathed with large love struck eyes. Kurt smirked at him as he pulled on his shirt again. "I can't believe we just did that... we just did that.."

"We did." Kurt agreed, again a little concerned because his full heart was in the act but he had no guarantee how much of Blaine had gone into it. _Blaine doesn't do anything half-heartedly,_ Kurt tried to convince himself but then the hard reminder hit, _he did Eli. C. Then he claimed that mean nothing. Maybe I'm his Eli. C... I'm not sure I can stomach this._

"Do..." Blaine had started pulling on his shirt also and combed his hands through his hair. "Do you still want to go out with me?"

Kurt looked at him suddenly, curious as to what he meant. Blaine looked at him with a nervous concern in his eyes. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"I just mean..." Blaine looked down and shook his head, then pulled on his pants before looking back to Kurt. "I'd understand if you didn't... or if you thought... I mean, I get it... if you think..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kurt asked shaking his head slightly as he watched Blaine stumble over his own words.

"I understand, if you just wanted to be friends. If you didn't want to try dating me because..." Blaine explained looking down.

"When did you become this insecure?" Kurt asked, mostly himself. Blaine looked up in shock but Kurt ignored that and closed the distance between them, kissing him with a hard passion. He'd hardly pulled away when he mindlessly said, "I love you, you idiot."

Blaine froze and now it was Kurt's turn to feel like maybe he'd gone to far. But when he opened his eyes to look at Blaine, he didn't see any fear or repulsion, only curiosity. "Do you?"

"Yes." Kurt answered honestly. "I've loved you since the first day I met you. And every day since. And now."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked, pulling away a little so he could see Kurt's face clearer. It had gotten dark outside the car, so his expression was only visible due to the lights from their phones. "Because hormones do weird things to people and we just had sex so you might not be sure,"

"I've never been more sure about anything, Blaine." Kurt answered, "So unless you don't want me-"

"I want you." Blaine stated immediately making Kurt smile bashfully. Kurt's phone buzzed and Blaine glanced down at it. His smile faded and he picked up the phone, "But I do want this to stop. Right now."

"What?" Kurt asked grabbing the phone and glancing at the screen to see three text messages and a missed call from Chandler. "Chandler?"

Blaine made a face as if to say _obviously_, which made Kurt laugh.

"There is nothing funny about your conversations with him." Blaine stated seriously.

Kurt laughed nodding, "I was only talking to him to make you jealous." He explained honestly, "And because I needed someone to distract me from you and Sebastian."

"You _did_ want to break us up?" Blaine asked as Kurt got out of the car and back into the front seat. Blaine followed sitting in the passenger seat while waiting for his answer. "Yes?"

"Yes." Kurt answered with slight hesitation. He still wasn't certain of his position with this Blaine and with him so close, he didn't want to scare him away with too much honesty, too fast.

"But not because of Sebastian." Blaine clarified.

"No, it was mostly because it was Sebastian." Kurt admitted making Blaine feel momentarily uncomfortable. "At least I think so. I'd like to think I would just be happy to see you be happy. Maybe I'm just selfish, though. But Sebastian is a terrible person, Blaine, and you deserve so much better than him."

Kurt explained as he started driving out of the parking lot.

"Why wouldn't you just ask me out then?" Blaine wondered. "Just be honest."

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I told you I wanted you to ask me!" Blaine argued. "I said I'd leave him for you if you asked."

"When?" Kurt wondered, glancing at Blaine who bit his lip and stared out the window. _Oh, right._ "You _do_ remember!?"

Blaine hesitated, not wanting to answer.

"Blaine."

"I remember... parts..." Blaine answered. "And I remember saying that."

"Why not just tell me?" Kurt demanded.

"I didn't want to wreck our friendship." Blaine answered. "And I tried, you didn't want to talk about it anymore."

Kurt hesitated then shook his head and started laughing.

"What?" Blaine snapped, but Kurt couldn't reply over his laughter. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing." Kurt laughed, then turned his laugh into a cough until he stopped. "Nothing's funny."

"Kurt..." Blaine started, then stopped and asked instead, "Why were you trying to make me jealous?"

"Why do you think?"

"And you thought some guy I don't know named _Chandler _would make me jealous?!" Blaine asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I don't know what it is about the guy but you seem to consistently hate him." Kurt mumbled in equal surprise. _You've never even met him._

"I didn't expect to have sex today." Blaine stated, changing the subject.

"Me neither." Kurt admitted. It had been in all of his fantasies but he didn't expect it to really happen. Blaine grabbed his right hand then, and pulled it to his face to kiss each finger. Kurt smiled to himself as Blaine did this, silently relieved that they hadn't lost the fragile moments of passion.

"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine said suddenly, still holding Kurt's hand.

"What for?"

"For always being there for me. I don't think anyone has my back like you do."

Kurt smiled at him, and pulled his hand over to kiss it. They quietly listened to music as they drove and Blaine hesitated when Kurt pulled out front Blaine's house.

"You still want to go out with me?" Blaine asked.

"I still want to go out with you."

"How about tomorrow night?"

"Sure." Kurt decided but then paused, "Or maybe not."

"Why not?" Blaine asked suddenly nervous.

"Maybe you should have a few days to process your break up first." Kurt thought. "Without me around. To make sure you understand what you're feeling."

"You're not a rebound, Kurt." Blaine stated heavily.

"I know." He didn't. "But I think it's smart to let you process first before jumping into something new."

"I think we already took the jump, Kurt." Blaine noted with a small flirtatious smirk which made it hard for Kurt to want to be serious.

"I'll see you at school." Kurt grinned. Blaine leaned forward and kissed him, then jumped out of the car, waved him goodbye, and went into his house.

Kurt was lost in a momentary relief that maybe he'd fixed the future. Maybe, he'd wake up tomorrow morning with his Blaine back in his arms and maybe he'd fixed everything. That hope was instantly diminished when he looked back and noticed Sebastian getting out of his parked car a little down the street from Blaine's house and walk to his door.

* * *

**Thank you for reading... I was having a really hard time deciding whether I wanted Blaine to also come back to the past (after Kurt had messed things up), and try to fix it, not knowing Kurt was also from 2014. Or if I wanted to keep it just Kurt. So I've decided to just make an alternate ending which I will post after this one and it will start roughly the same but then go differently. **

**Then I can focus on one story line at a time and stop changing my mind ;)**

**Please comment and review to let me know what you think so far!**


	12. Chapter 12

(Blaine's POV)

**Stay With Me**

2009

_Woah_.

I certainly hadn't expected today to go like _that_. Maybe in a fantasy or three, but never in real life. When I closed the door behind me, I leaned against it and smiled like an idiot. My dad's car was in the driveway and I could hear the living room TV on so I would be sure to avoid that room. Surely he would not want to know what made me so insanely happy today.

"Blaine?" He called from I would assume the couch.

"Yeah, dad." It was hard to keep the smile from my voice. I still struggled to move anything else. My body was stuck in a state of complete bliss. Maybe, if I turned around now, I could could reach Kurt before he'd gone too far. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see him now. And I was certain I could go a few more rounds also.

My dad's voice kept me grounded in reality. "There's dinner in the fridge. You're mom went out so if you need something, you should text her before she gets back."

"Alright, thanks dad." I called, then giggled quietly to myself as I started heading for my room where I would pleasantly replay the night over and over until I fell asleep. I would analyze every word and every touch with a level of obsession I would never admit to Kurt. Did Kurt really love me? Or did he mean in a more platonic kind of way? Either way, it appeared I had the potential to change that.

I stopped walking when there was a knock on my door. My heart started racing immediately, my my stomach turned in excitement as I bounced back to the door shouting for my dad, "I've got it!"

But I was filled with shock and disappointment when I opened the door to see Sebastian. A little annoyed, also.

"Why'd you come home so late?" He asked in a voice dead of emotion. He looked down with none of the confidence he usually carried, and if I didn't know better I might think he'd been crying.

"It's ten-thirty." I replied.

"You're usually home by nine." Sebastian mused.

"Are you my mother?"

"I'm sorry for whatever I did. And I am even more sorry for how I reacted at school. I shouldn't have. I was impulsive and rude, and I should have controlled myself."

"Thank you." I decided. "But you could have texted me that."

"I wanted to say it in person."

"You could have said it tomorrow." With the people you embarrassed me in front of.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"That's why they invented phones."

"I didn't think you'd pick up my calls."

"You didn't try."

"I'm sorry." He gushed.

I looked away a little annoyed that he'd come and tried to wreck my bliss, but my time with Kurt had been so great I don't think Sebastian could do anything to wreck it.

"What did you want to talk about?" I wondered.

"Can I come inside?" He requested.

"I think it's best if we stay here." I wanted Kurt. I didn't hate Sebastian, and honestly, other than for my embarrassment, I wasn't angry with him, or uncomfortable with him. But I also wasn't sure if Kurt would be comfortable with us being too close right now, and I wanted to work on making Kurt as comfortable with moving forward as was possible.

"Why?"

"My dad's home."

"We've all been in the house before." Sebastian noted.

"It's different now."

"How?"

I hesitated, but decided to let him in. It was better than having an argument in the doorway. Sebastian started for the stairs towards my room but I stopped him by saying, "Wait."

"What?" He asked turning a little.

"We can talk here." I suggested.

"I was thinking a little more private." He motioned to the living room with noise still coming from it.

"The kitchen." I offered.

"Your room." Sebastian stated.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"Why not?" Sebastian inquired before turning and marching up the stairs.

I groaned, rolled my eyes and decided to follow, stopping at the base of the stairs to look at the entrance to the living room where my father now stood with his arms crossed over his chest while leaning against the door frame.

"What's that about?" He wondered.

I'm not sure what possessed me... maybe I wanted support, maybe I just needed a witness to feel comfortable, or maybe it was just so I could make it more real for myself, but I answered in a dull voice, "We broke up."

"Why's he in your room, then?" There was no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.

I made a dramatic gesture in raising my shoulders to tell him that I didn't know.

He bit the inside of his cheek once while nodding lightly. "Alright." He said, "Call me if you need me."

"Thank you." I said, honestly feeling a little relaxed. I wasn't exactly sure how he would take us breaking up, or if he'd even care.

"Does this mean... Sebastian's a good looking kid. If you're not into him, is it maybe because you're not really...?"

"I'm still gay, dad." I snapped, turning to go up the stairs.

As I started turning, though, he called my name once more. I glanced back at him and he looked a little stiff and concentrated. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said in surprise he asked, and feeling a little proud that I was so alright, because I knew why and he was the reason for the butterflies in my stomach. "Yeah, I am. Thanks dad."

"Okay." He nodded, turning back to the living room, "Your mom should be home soon anyways."

I think that was his way of saying I should go to her for boyfriend advice.

I followed Sebastian up the stairs to my room where he shut the door behind us.

"Keep that open please." I requested taking a seat at the end of my bed.

"Why?" Sebastian asked in annoyance. "We close it all the time."

"I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"Who would get the wrong idea?" He demanded, but there was no fire or anger in his voice.

"Sebastian." I sighed in defeat. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't understand." He snapped, still more desperate than angry. "I thought we were good."

"We were."

"Then why?"

"I don't like who I am when I'm with you." I told him for probably the fifth time today. "It was fun, but you said it yourself, you're not good at serious and now I want something serious."

"I'd be serious for you!"

"I don't want you to be... I want to explore different options. I'm tired of always feeling _tired_ after spending time with you."

"All I've wanted to do was make you happy." Sebastian said, lowering to his knees in front of me so we were eye to eye. He put his hands on my knees and I instantly started to push them away but he fought to touch me. "I'm sorry if I failed, but I can change."

"You notice how we're in my room right now?" I demanded, standing so it would be impractical for him to keep touching me. He continued to keep his hands on my legs as he looked up at me, and I wanted to smirk and giggle thinking about Kurt in that position. I wished suddenly that I'd invited him inside. Surely an argument between the three of us would not make my dad comfortable, but then I could use him as my reason for not wanting this without betraying any trust or privacy. We've barely talked about anything. What would he be okay with me telling people? Especially Sebastian? A small part of me, which I tried to push away, feared that a small part of Kurt really did want Sebastian, but I brushed it away. I couldn't doubt now. "Do you notice how the door is closed? Or how your hands are still on me after me pushing you away?" He pulled his hands back then.

I continued, "You don't respect me, Sebastian, or what I want. You say you want to make me happy but then you do whatever it is you want despite what I ask for, and sure I went along with it for a while, it made me explore outside my comfort zone. But my comfort zone is still valid and you act like it isn't! I don't know what else to tell you Sebastian. I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Is this about Kurt?" Sebastian asked suddenly, looking a little ill.

"What would this have to do with Kurt?" I demanded, but yes, it had a little to do with Kurt. My other points were still valid, though.

"I've seen how you look at him." he made a face as he stood up. "How... excited you get when he walks into a room. Was I supposed to not get defensive? Was I supposed to stay at home and ignore the fact that you _never_ looked at me like that? I'm sorry that I acted out, and that I got upset but try to see this from my perspective! It is hard to watch your boyfriend _lusting_ after another guy who he also wants to spend more than half his time with because they're such _close_ friends. I'm sorry, but no, I won't stand on the side and let you do whatever you want with him. If that means pushing you outside your comfort zone, so be it."

"Don't you hear what you're saying, though...? If this is about pride, you can be the one who breaks up with me. I don't mind."

"I don't want to break up at all!" Sebastian shouted a little, stepping closer to me and grabbing me a little too tightly by the elbows. "I want you to see how good we are together, and how good we could be."

He pressed his body into mine, then, and I think I understood well enough what he was suggesting. I recoiled but he held me and I couldn't move my arms past his grip to fight him off me. Honestly, I was still in the mood, just not for him.

"Sebastian..." I groaned but didn't have to say much else because my dad walked in then and interrupted. He examined us both fairly quickly, maintaining a neutrally uninterested expression on his face.

"Sorry, Sebastian, I think it's time to go." He decided. "I don't know about you but Blaine has a curfew and we've already passed it."

Sebastian let go of my arms and I wasn't prepared for the amount of relief that passed through me.

"That's alright, Mr. Anderson." Sebastian nodded. "See you tomorrow, Blaine."

Then he passed my dad who gave me one last glance, saying "Go to bed" before shutting the door.

It took me a few minutes to move again. It was difficult to process but I focused on my time with Kurt just before coming home. I changed slowly, examining myself in the mirror carefully as if something major would have changed about me. There were a few small red marks on my neck and shoulders... I don't remember him putting them there. And I was covered in scratch marks but I didn't mind because they were a very welcome reminder.

Who knew Kurt could be like that? The way he took control... I always imagined I'd be in control, especially with Kurt who is so... _Kurt_. But he was an animal who seemed to know exactly where to touch me and how and when. And there was something in his eyes... like he was ready, and prepared. As if he'd done it all a million times before. You'd think I'd be annoyed... feel a little cheated of the awkwardness and nerves of seeing his first time, but I wasn't. I didn't doubt I was his first if he said so, but _man_... I wanted to be his second and third, and maybe nineteenth and twentieth also.

I lay back in bed and messaged Kurt asking,

_**How many days do you want to wait before we go out? ~ Blaine**_

The reply was fairly quick so I didn't have time to be nervous.

_**Five days ~ Kurt**_

_**Five?! ~ Blaine**_

_**How am I supposed to go five days without you!? ~ Blaine**_

_**Especially now that I know what I'm missing... ~ Blaine**_

_**Haha... five days is fair. But I miss you too :* ~ Kurt**_

_**Can we at least talk through the 5 days? ~ **_**_Blaine_**

_**I think it would be best to limit things as much as possible ~ Kurt**_

_**Why?! D: ~ Blaine**_

_**I just want to make sure you are sure ~ Kurt**_

I groaned in annoyance and let my head fall back, then I turned off my light and glanced back at my phone. How could he think I wasn't sure?

_**I am sure ~ **_**_Blaine_**

_**VERY sure ~ Blaine**_

_**Please ~ Kurt**_

_**Fine... ~ Blaine**_

_**Only to make you happy, but I will see you in five days and I will have planned a date so extravagant it will blow your mind ~ Blaine**_

_**I have other things that might be easier to blow... ~ Kurt**_

I covered my mouth to stop my from laughing hard enough to disturb my parents. I think my mom had gotten home and my dad had told her about Sebastian because I could hear them lightly arguing about whether or not she should come talk to me.

_**Oh, gladly... very gladly ~ Blaine**_

_**How are you so good, tho? ~ Blaine**_

_**Am I good? ~ Kurt**_

_**You're amazing! ~ Blaine**_

_**Do you have any point of reference to compare it to though? ~ Kurt**_

_**Do you? ~ Blaine**_

_**You're my one and only ~ Kurt**_

_**Will you tell me how your interview at McKinley goes? ~ Blaine**_

_**I will on Monday ~ Kurt**_

_**Why Monday?! ~ Blaine**_

_**Five days ~ Kurt**_

"Oh my god!" I groaned but shook my head.

_**Fine. Five days. ~ Blaine**_

_**But I'm going to spend those five days thinking about what I'm going to do when I finally get my hands on you after our EXCEPTIONAL date ~ Blaine**_

_**Which is apparently Monday Night? ~ Blaine**_

_**Yes, Blaine, Monday night would be fine ~ Kurt**_

_**I have to go. Goodnight xox ~ Kurt**_

I think my heart dropped a little. I don't know what I'd been hoping for but it was a little more passionate than_ Goodnight xox_.

_**Goodnight :) ~ Blaine**_

Maybe I was giving his sexuality too much credit. Just because he'd had confidence in the moment, didn't mean he had it now. Maybe I was pushing him too far, too fast. Or maybe he was thinking the exact same thing as me. Maybe he was scared of scaring me away.

_**It may be hard to get comfortable with your teeth marks in my shoulder. **__**:) ;) **__**~ Kurt**_

_**When did you give me hickies? ~ Blaine**_

_**You're right... five days will be hard ~ Kurt**_

_**We should shorten it ~ Blaine**_

_**Goodnight ;) ~ Kurt**_

_**You already said that ~ Blaine**_

_**Now I mean it ~ Kurt**_

_**OK. Goodnight :) ~ Blaine**_

_**Goodnight ~ Kurt**_

It was hard to sleep but I finally did.

In the morning I found it almost impossible to dodge my parents curious glances in my direction. When I got to school most people pretended they hadn't heard, but when I wasn't looking I was fairly certain they were watching me.

Dodging Sebastian was a tiny bit difficult since he was hunting me and he knew my entire schedule, but I managed for the most part, except one small interaction which thankfully only lasted 14 seconds.

I thought my day could actually be somewhat normal until I was walking towards my locker and saw Kurt talking to a group of guys, laughing and being happy together... I wanted to join them but I'd promised Kurt five days. Five days right now felt like five years. And what about Kurt? My hormones weren't out of control but I was fairly certain that it would not take me very long to become very interested in his proximity.

He glanced over smiling, until he saw me then his face went a little stiff. He smiled at me politely before returning to his friends.

Ugh, this is stupid. I don't need five days to get over Sebastian. I'm over him.

"Blaine." Shit. I'd been so preoccupied with my thoughts on Kurt that I stayed at my locker a second too long. I turned to Sebastian who approached me looking at his watch. "Don't say you don't have time to talk to me, you have six minutes and your class is ten steps that way."

"I don't have anything to say to you." I told him honestly. "I'm willing to be friends if you are."

"I don't just want to be your friend." Sebastian told me, taking a step closer so that his body pressed against mine and held me to the lockers. "Tell me what you want and I will give it to you. I swear. If I forget, remind me. I won't think less of you for it."

Then he lowered his face to mine and started kissing me. I was rather irritated by this, especially since I'd still been feeling Kurt's lips over mine and his were destroying that sensation. I pushed him off me, glancing around but most people had gone to class.

"Don't do that again!" I snapped, pushing him further back, sure that the school wouldn't get too upset since I was defending myself from assault. Sebastian seemed a little surprised. Good. "I'm not yours! You can't touch me. Stay away from me if you can't control yourself, _got it_?!"

"Blaine, I'm sorry," Sebastian tried with his hands up in the air as if I was the threat to him. I might be, I realized, if he did it again. "Chill. I didn't think..."

"No, you didn't!" I yelled. "Because like I said last night, you don't respect anything I say or do! I said it's over, so it is. There is no negotiation. No take-backs. It's over. I'm done. If you can't acknowledge that, I will get a restraining order."

"Blaine, calm down." He said looking around for witnesses. No one was hanging around for this one. Also, class had probably just started.

"No. Do not touch me again. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good." I snapped, then turned and marched for my class. My teacher asked if I'd been the one yelling in the hallway. I answered obviously not, and took a seat in my spot and tried to focus. I wanted to text Kurt. I wanted to talk to someone and he seemed like the best choice.

By the end of the period, I couldn't stand it any longer. I found him at his locker, and pulled a book out of his bag, then leaned against his back as I pretended to pull the book out of his locker.

"Here you go." I told him with a wide smile, mostly forced on my face, as I pressed my hips into him. He turned a little, not annoyed but also not impressed.

"It hasn't been five days, Blaine." He told me.

"Five days? What are you talking about? I'm just grabbing your book. It's the neighborly thing to do."

"Mhmm." Kurt raised his eyebrows then dropped them as he took the book from me and let his face come close to mine. The funny thing was, people at Dalton considered Kurt and I so close already, that nobody questioned this. Maybe Sebastian had had a point about that... still, I wouldn't change my mind for anything. "And do you grind yourself against your neighbours often?"

"Only the one's I think are cute." I grinned.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked genuinely surprised.

"You don't look at me like that unless something is bothering you. What is it?"

_Wow_. Is something bothering me? "I've-I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Kurt said but held a hand up to stop me from getting too close to him. I was somewhat discouraged but stopped. "But that's not what this is... Does it have something to do with kissing Sebastian?"

"What? No." I felt like the blood had left my body and my breakfast was in the back of my throat. "H-he kissed me. I didn't want him to. I pushed him away... How did you know?"

"I was standing down the hall!"

"I pushed him away, I swear!"

"Why was he at your house last night?" Kurt wondered then. I'm going to have a heart attack and die.

"How...?" That didn't matter. "He wanted me to take him back."

"And?"

"I refused. I don't want him, I want you."

"Did you tell _him_ that?" his face and voice were emotionless. it was hard to tell if that's what he wanted.

"I didn't tell him anything..." I answered. "I didn't know what you would want me to say."

"Well, what would you want to tell him?"

"That I'm yours and that's not going to change."

He smiled then and I think he was going to kiss me, but he looked around and thought better of it. Would people really care, Kurt? Put your face on mine. They'd probably think we were being bros...

Something in his expression changed then, I'm not sure why, and his face softened, "Is that what is bothering you? Sebastian?"

I hesitated but finally nodded. I didn't want to actually consider Sebastian was bothering me. I mostly wanted to ignore it, forget it, and move on.

He closed the space then and hugged me tight, and I pressed my face into his shoulder and wrapped my hands around him. Then I realized, as he hugged me, that I felt safe. I hadn't for the past hour. Maybe longer if I was being really honest. I didn't like that Sebastian wasn't accepting no, and I don't think I ever did. But now that we weren't hiding behind the excuse of 'he's my boyfriend,' I could see it a little more clearly. The colours were clearer now. "I didn't feel safe... he won't leave me alone."

"Let's tell someone then." Kurt snapped, holding me a little tighter which made my body want to relax more into him. "He can't do that."

I shook my head a little. "I told him to stop. If he still doesn't, then we will."

"Blaine." Kurt complained but I held him tighter and it seemed to stop the argument.

"Kurt, I want to get my mind off that now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and there was something else I wanted to suggest."

"What is that?" He wondered, "Can it wait until after the five days?"

"I've just... been thinking that maybe the five days shouldn't start yet." I said pulling away a little to see his face. He raised a curious brow at me so I continued before he could argue. I glanced around but saw no one close enough to hear us. Lunch had started so most people would be in the cafeteria. "We had sex." He made a face but he didn't look annoyed so I continued. "It was good."

"It was." He nodded a little hesitant.

"And after I felt so good, I wanted to do it again!"

He smirked a little but regained his serious composure.

"So really, if your point in waiting five days is so that I can have a clear head, I think we need to postpone. We need do it again. Have sex, I mean. Because right now, I don't have a clear head. I want you. And I don't see that changing."

"And maybe if we do it again, we'll get over any honeymoon phase that might be attached." He nodded in understanding.

"Yes, exactly." I agreed, shutting his locker and leading him towards an empty classroom.

"You do make a fair case, Anderson." Kurt nodded allowing me to put him in the class, and shut the door behind us.

"I do." I agreed as he stepped towards me, wrapping me in his arms and kissing me. I let him pin me to the wall and replace the unpleasant thought of Sebastian with himself.

His lips remained over mine as he started pulling at my blazer. I dropped it on the floor. Then he began pulling at my tie, so I dropped it on the floor. After that he was opening my shirt, which I kept on but open for his hands to explore my body as I removed his blazer, and also dropped it on the floor.

"Do you have anything?" He asked over my lips.

"I came prepared." I nodded pushing him back hard enough that he would stumble back before giving him a seductive stare, reaching into my bag and grabbing a condom and a small bottle of lube. Kurt gave me a slightly concerned expression to which I replied, "we weren't prepared last time."

"So you had absolutely no intention of waiting give days." There was no anger or accusation in his voice.

"I was." I stated, "But yesterday was so sudden, I realized you never know."

I watched him for a moment, letting him take the next step. Luckily, it was towards me. He grabbed on of my wrists and the condom and asked, "just one?"

"I had one day notice." I replied, plus, I never needed them with Sebastian. Not having them was generally my excuse for not having sex. He looked at it, then put it back in my hand. I think he was letting me choose. I put the wrapper between my teeth like I watched him do last night in such a way I found too sexy to resist, and pulled it out. Then, like he did, I held it in my mouth as I opened his pants. He raised another eyebrow so I winked at him and watched his face melt. It was impossible not to smile in response.

I pulled him out of his pants and lowered to my knees, taking him in my hand and kissing him all over. I hadn't actually tasted the skin of his cock last night, only the condom. "Kurt," He glanced down at me "I want to make you happy."

"I want _you_ to be happy." He replied, looking a little annoyed suddenly, but I ignored that and put one of his balls in my mouth as I rubbed his cock with my spare hand. He tried to muffle his moan so that no one would come investigate.

He was rock hard when I pulled away and slid the condom onto him.

"Blaine," He protested, but I shook my head and rubbed some of the lube onto him. It might have been too much since it was lathered on him and on my hands equally. I wiped off my hand on a paper towel I'd luckily had in my bag since I didn't want any evidence on our clothing, and lowered my pants to my knees.

He turned me around and bent me over the teachers desk. I lifted my ass to be a little more accessible to him. He played with it for a moment before positioning his tip on my anus and sliding it slowly in.

I bit into my arm to keep from crying out rather loudly.

"Oooh, my god, Blaine." He breathed a little breathlessly, leaning over me as he slowly thrust himself deeper into me. I felt my ass spreading open much smoother than it had last night, probably thanks to the lube, or maybe because it was more ready for him. I didn't care why.

He lay almost completely over me, letting his weight pin me to the desk as I started rolling my hips and ass onto him. Kurt leaned over a bit so that he could see my face, pulling me up a bit to kiss him. It was hard to stay quiet when I wasn't biting into something. I could feel my own cock getting harder as his started to reach my prostate, and _uuuhhhh_, it felt so good. The excess lube made a wet mess around my hole and his balls when he finally got all the way into me, and he had to hold my mouth shut to keep me from crying out.

He started moving faster, thrusting himself balls deep inside me as I tried to keep up. I didn't mind how hard he held onto my mouth to keep me quiet. I actually kind of liked it. Then his free hand wrapped around me and started rubbing my hardening cock which one of my hands joined him in doing.

"Do you think we'd get expelled for this?" Kurt asked suddenly, with his lips by my ear. My eyes started rolling back as the two overwhelming sensations took over me. My ass and my dick both craving him.

I shook my head to answer no to his question, but honestly... probably. Suspended at least. I wouldn't think about that, though. It was unlikely we'd be caught. I don't think...

"Does it feel better than yesterday?" He breathed in my ear, biting my ear softly. I nodded, my ass tightening around him as he continued to hump me. "Good." He purred.

He started riding me a little faster and pulling harder on my cock so I pulled my hand away and let him have it to himself. I was too distracted by my own pleasure to care anyway. One of my hands grabbed the wrist that was holding my mouth as if for a handle bar, while the other reached behind me to the back of his neck to pull his face back to mine. His lips touched my hairline, then my forehead, as he started kissing and lightly biting me. He slipped in and out with a smoothness that made me want him deeper. More of him. I moaned his name into his hand as he continued to take my body until I came. I came first, but then he did a few moments after. After a few final thrusts, he pulled his hand away from my mouth.

I immediately began panting and moaning, trying to stay quiet.

"You're right, Blaine." Kurt breathed, pulling me back up and turning me as much as I could with him impaling my ass. "Five days is a long time. I want you now."

I smiled at him excitedly, kissing him.

He pulled away smirking a little, "But it's still a reasonable request."

I sighed and looked him in the eyes. "Whatever _you_ want." I decided letting him pull out of me so that I could turn to him completely. "I just want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm comfortable, I just..." He started straightening my shirt and re-buttoning it. "I don't want you to make a decision you don't mean because you are suddenly feeling lonely."

"I wouldn't do that."

"You don't know what you'd do." Kurt disagreed, removing the condom, tying it, and throwing it under other garbage in a large trash can. Then he pulled up his pants and started cleaning the mess I'd made on the desk while I pulled my clothing back on. "And frankly, neither do I. I don't want to rush into anything."

"What do you consider this?" I inquired, smirking flirtatiously at him because I couldn't maintain my smile. He hid the dirty napkin under more garbage before looking back to me.

"A gross oversight on my part." But I don't think he meant that. I think it was one of his over-thinking, trying to offer proper responses that stopped him from being completely- -or remotely- -impulsive. "I should have waited until..."

"Until?" I inquired readily, not losing my large smile.

"I suppose nothing is in order anymore." He sighed, lost in thought. I wanted to hug him... and hold him... and sing him every one of his favorite songs.

"Be my boyfriend." I requested without thinking. Then I wanted to panic. Surely, he wouldn't run away screaming. He wasn't that timid. But what would he think?

"Blaine." Kurt breathed with wide eyes. I allowed myself to image he was so overwhelmed by the happy request despite knowing exactly what he'd say. "You've been single for 11 hours."

"It's closer to 22 now." I clarified.

"Still not long enough."

"Will you be my boyfriend if you go to McKinley?"

"How is that different?" Kurt demanded.

"I don't want to lose you." I answered honestly. "And maybe if you're surrounded by different people, you won't be so preoccupied with what other people think about us dating. Cause no one there will know about me and Sebastian."

I was certain his concern was based more towards what other's would think than what I did. I'd made it fairly clear that I wanted him. Even before breaking up with Sebastian.

He laughed, stepped forward and kissed me once. "Four days."

"Three."

"Four."

"Two."

"That's not how... three."

"Fine" I agreed in annoyance. "But feel free to call me for a booty call."

"I'm almost tempted to delete your number for four days." Kurt mused. "That offer is too tempting."

I grinned and gathered my things. "How do I look."

"Not like you had sex. Me?" Kurt asked spinning.

"Like you had the best sex of your life but don't want anyone to know it." I laughed at the facial expression he wore in response to that comment.

"Goodbye, Blaine." Kurt said to me, slapping my ass a little too hard, but I certainly didn't mind. "See you in four days."

"I will be holding my breath until I see you again." I responded watching his pleasant face leave the room.

* * *

**Alright, I'm thinking two more chapters maybe? Yes? Please comment and review to let me know what you think.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Date**

2009

Neither Kurt nor Blaine were completely certain how they'd survived the three days apart. Blaine hadn't realized how much he'd grown to need Kurt around him to feel comfortable, and Kurt wanted to know whether Blaine still had feelings for him, or if the bliss had disappeared.

Apparently it hadn't because Sunday morning Blaine arrived on Kurt's door with flowers in his hand and a box of chocolates.

"What's this?" Kurt asked smiling widely and vaguely wondering why he'd doubted whether this Blaine and his were the same person.

"For you." Blaine smiled widely.

Their date began with brunch, then a walk through town, until they got to the lake and Blaine had them hike an hour until they reached a small clearing where he'd set up a projector, a screen, a large blanket, a guitar, and a basket of food.

"When did you set all of this up?" Kurt wondered eating some bread from a to-go order from Bread Sticks that managed to still be warm.

"The Warblers brought this stuff here ten minutes before we got here." Blaine answered a little bashfully. "As sort of a goodbye present, since you might be leaving."

He looked down at the plate of pasta in front of him as he lay on his side with Kurt sitting across from him. He'd been avoiding asking Kurt about the meeting on Friday, but this time would be as good as any, he supposed.

Kurt hesitated, then said, "I have to. They need me for Nationals."

"That's not a good reason to do anything." Blaine mumbled to himself, mostly.

"And because I miss them." But Kurt was exaggerating that part a little. He'd gotten used to being away from them in New York. And although he did enjoy seeing them, he was able to tolerate the distance. Racheal and Santana were a little different, but they'd both gone back to being teenage girls without filters and Kurt didn't mind waiting for them to calm down a bit. He was surprised to miss Sam. Maybe it was that he didn't have someone to blame all his problems on... or maybe because he no longer saw his old difficulties as problems, so no longer needed to hate Sam as a response to make sense of things. He didn't have any frustration at Blaine that he wouldn't acknowledge, and he missed seeing how happy Blaine and Sam made each other.

"So you're going?" Blaine wondered.

"Friday will be my last day at Dalton." Kurt nodded. "But I'll still see you all the time."

Kurt put a hand on Blaine's and Blaine took it willingly.

"I'm happy that you will be happy." He decided.

"Thank you." Kurt then looked around the table. "If the Warblers knew about this, wouldn't Sebastian?"

"Relax, we didn't tell him." Blaine grinned eating one of the cronuts he'd found. It was supposed to be a movie snack but instead it was a mid-dinner break. "I didn't want him to be uncomfortable."

"Or poison our food?"

"He wouldn't do that." Blaine said with the certainty of someone who hadn't witnessed Sebastian almost blind him with a rock-salt slushy.

"What movie did you bring?" Kurt asked hoping the distract himself from the fear he had about the psychopath he was sure was hunting them.

"I brought all your favorites and you can choose." Blaine offered, showing six different movies Kurt often talked about loving.

"Blaine!" Kurt beamed in excitement, "Oh come on, Blaine, this day can't be all about me. You decide what you want to watch."

Blaine shook his head smiling. "Pick, Kurt."

"Ugh... okay... that one." Kurt decided picking the original Moulin Rouge. "Oh, but we've watched this recently."

"Not this one." Blaine protested. "This is the original."

"I thought you didn't own that."

"I got it for you."

"Do _you _want this one?"

"I want whatever you want." Blaine smiled.

"Ugh, fine, I'll put it on." Kurt decided. "And if you don't want to watch it, I can distract you another way."

"What other way?" Blaine asked. "oh..."

The movie started and Blaine opened the box of snacks for them. When Come What May came on they sang along to one another which, for Blaine was sweet and playful, but Kurt felt it shatter his soul. He loved this Blaine. He didn't feel like, if he never got back to 2014 without reliving the years, he would be unhappy. But he missed his Blaine. He missed their history, their problems, he missed knowing every single thing Blaine was thinking as soon as he looked at him. He missed the certainty he had knowing Blaine wouldn't leave him, and knowing his Blaine wouldn't cheat on him again. He missed knowing he was the only thing that would truly matter to him. He had returned to uncertainty, and had managed to made it even more unclear.

But Blaine had chosen him a second time. He'd willingly loved him. So maybe Blaine had also been right when he'd said they always returned to each other, and always would. Maybe he didn't need to be nervous, because no matter what he knew he had Blaine. Even if the story was wrong.

When the movie wasn't completely over yet when Blaine had rolled his head into Kurt's lap and put his fingers into Kurt's pants. Kurt put on a second movie as a background noise as Blaine cupped his mouth around Kurt's cock and began sucking hard. Kurt responded by reaching over and opening Blaine's pants. He felt Blaine's reaction over his cock as Kurt moved, forcing Blaine to move with him an choke a little.

_How much did Blaine love me?_ He wondered, thinking back to their first time dating. They never had sex. They never talked about it. Blaine never pushed him, and _clearly_ it was something Blaine really wanted. They'd had a million make out sessions but nothing ever went below the belt. For most of it, Kurt had always thought it was a mutual decision to wait, like he had with Sebastian._ So he wanted me, not Sebastian... that's comforting. But why wouldn't he ask me sooner if he needed it this bad? Was I really so prudish?_ Kurt knew he knew the answer. This Blaine was willing to throw himself completely at Kurt, not that he minded. So how much had Blaine been willing to wait for him the first time around?

Kurt allowed one of his legs to rest on either side of Blaine's face, keeping his cock in Blaine's mouth as he did while Blaine waited patiently for Kurt to settle on a position. Kurt settled when he was straddled over Blaine's face with his erection in Blaine's mouth staring down at Blaine's body. Kurt lowered then to Blaine's newly exposed genitals and put them in his mouth, moving his hips lightly into Blaine's mouth as Blaine did the same to him.

They moved rather slowly, allowing one another to enjoy the sensation, while moaning over each other, causing vibrations to make them both harder. They continued to hump each other's mouths like this for a few minutes before rolling over so Blaine could be on top of Kurt. Blaine didn't mind when Kurt finally found his orgasm in the back of Blaine's throat but pulled his mouth away so that he could speed up a little as he focused on fucking Kurt's mouth.

Kurt let his eyes roll back as Blaine continued thrusting. After his orgasm, Blaine put on a condom and added the lube he'd been sure to bring. Then he removed Kurt's pants down to his knees and opened his legs while Kurt watched willing and excited.

"Are you ready?" Blaine wondered as he put himself into position.

"Yes... please." Kurt asked looking up at Blaine with wide eyes as he waited.

"_Aaarg_... _Ughhh_, Kurt." Blaine groaned as he slipped his dick into Kurt's ass. Blaine lifted Kurt's knees so they were almost by his head and held them there as he started, first slowly, thrusting into Kurt.

"_Ah_, yes, _please_... Blaine, yes!" Kurt moaned letting his head fall back as Blaine slowly sped up. Kurt closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Blaine inside him, slipping much easier due to the lubricant. Future Kurt's body had become accustomed to random attacks from Blaine without proper preparation. 2009 Kurt's body was still learning and enjoyed the patience.

Blaine started moving faster and harder, allowing himself to thrust in to his base. After a few deep thrusts, he stayed balls deep and stayed there as he reached forward to bring Kurt up to him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and rode him as hard as he could manage before they both relaxed and fell into a softer, slower motion. They remained intertwined for a while, until Blaine came. Then Blaine, without thinking much, lay Kurt down and grabbed another condom which he placed on Kurt, then he added lube and sat down slowly onto Kurt's erection.

Kurt groaned and held Blaine's hips, watching as his one day future husband rode him, both moaning loudly. After a minute, Kurt let his head fall back as Blaine put his hands on Kurt's chest for support as he slowly circled his hips. Kurt panicked, though, when he opened his eyes and swore he saw someone standing in the trees.

"Blaine..! _Blaine_!" Kurt pushed Blaine off of him and pulled up his pants, turning around to look back at the forest.

"Kurt? What is it?"

"I saw... I thought I saw..." Kurt shuttered but shook his head before looking around. "Someone."

"Sebastian?" Blaine asked, looking around too. "I didn't see anyone."

"It wasn't Sebastian, it was... I couldn't tell."

"Maybe it was just a hiker." Blaine suggested a little breathlessly. "Or a shadow... we can go now, if you would feel more comfortable. We still have one last place on your best date ever."

Kurt was shaken, and a part of him wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he nodded to Blaine and helped him put away the projector, the blanket, the baskets, and the screen.

"What is this?" Kurt asked, picking up the guitar.

"I was going to play you a couple songs." Blaine answered, seemingly unaffected by their leaving early. When Blaine noticed the look that crossed Kurt's face, he added, "I can just do it in the car. Just as romantic, right?"

Kurt painted a smile onto his face but he couldn't help but feel ridiculous. No one was there. No one could have hidden that fast if they were. Still, he wasn't comfortable staying. Probably, as Blaine had somewhat suggested, because he feared what Sebastian might do.

"I had the Warblers park my car off a trail six minutes this way." Blaine explained and led Kurt the opposite way from where they came.

It took them only five minutes to get to the car. They silently packed up the car, with Kurt occasionally apologizing.

"Kurt, it's really fine!" Blaine laughed. "We were off track anyways. I'd planned on us going back to my place to... finish. We were only supposed to watch one movie then I was going to sing. I can do that while you drive."

"I don't know where I'm going."

"I'll tell you." Blaine promised. "But I'll be right back, I just left something in the field. Stay with the car."

"Don't go back alone." Kurt begged.

"I spent the entire day here yesterday by myself making sure it was private. Five more minutes shouldn't kill me and you really don't look comfortable so I'd rather you stayed in the car."

"Blaine."

"It's fine." Blaine laughed, kissing Kurt once. "This is Lima, Ohio. They don't even _shoot_ horror movies here."

"Blaine..." Kurt protested again.

"Kurt," Blaine started with groan but then grinned, "I didn't start the Dalton fight club so that I could get my ass handed to me if and when I need to defend myself. I _let_ you tackle me, that's it."

Blaine winked at Kurt as he turned and disappeared down the path. Kurt was almost tempted to follow but he was certain that Blaine had a point and wanted to allow him to prove his point. _But what if he's wrong._ _He's not... but what if he is, he's not... is he_?

Kurt waited impatient and nervous despite his desire to not be, while leaning on the car.

"Hey Kurt." Kurt turned immediately to the voice who'd once haunted his nightmares. Although he knew he got better, it was difficult to overlook the past few months. Korofsky stood at the end of the car with his hands in his pockets. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"I don't mind keeping it that way." Kurt snapped. He looked away from Korofsky, then turned back to glare at him suddenly. "What are you doing here?"

"Someone called me and said we should meet." He answered a little bashfully. On Friday he'd been apologizing to Kurt in a similar way he had originally, so Kurt didn't doubt he was on the path to changing, but he still wanted to keep him at arms length. "They're not here yet."

"A friend?" Kurt asked only to be nice. He continued to watch the path Blaine had walked down waiting for him to return.

"Yeah, something like that." There was a small hint of joy in his voice that Kurt was happy to hear. "It's someone I met at a bar... Scandals... do you know it?"

"Yes." Kurt answered. He looked back when he felt Korofsky lean against the car beside him.

"I was telling him about you." Korofsky stated.

"Telling who?" Kurt wondered, measuring his distance and preparing to step away if needed.

"The guy. About how you... made me realize who I really am."

"I'm glad I could help you." Kurt answered feeling a little more relaxed towards Korofsky but not for Blaine. "What is his name?"

"Sebastian." Korofsky smiled. Kurt felt his heart shatter.

"Sebastian told you to come here?" _Why? What's his plan? And where is Blaine?_ None of the cars in the area belonged to Sebastian. Maybe he'd just sent Korofsky to scare them.

"Yeah, I'm a little early, though." Korofsky admitted with a sly grin.

"Don't get involved with him." Kurt suggested. "He's not a good guy."

"Do you even know him?" Korofsky asked, a little turned off.

"Smyte? Yes. He's evil and you deserve better." Kurt snapped, glancing over his shoulder but Blaine hadn't returned yet. He pulled out his phone but there were no texts or calls. _Maybe I should go after him. I could... bring Korofsky_. _Ugh, what is wrong with me today? Why would I be afraid? Especially if Blaine needed me?_

"There's only one person I know who could be better." Korofsky noted nervously, putting a hand forward as if to lightly caress Kurt's face, but Kurt recoiled immediately. Dave looked a little disheartened by this so Kurt allowed himself to step back into his original position. He put his hand over Korofsky's where it rested on the car.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said. "But there is someone else."

"I know." Dave sighed, pulling his hand away and looking at the ground. "I saw..."

Kurt didn't think much of that comment at first, but then paused and felt his body frozen in position. "Have you already been hiking?"

"Yes." He answered. "Sebastian said I'd really enjoy the trails."

"What did you see?" Kurt almost demanded.

"Nothing worth talking about." Korofsky mumbled. Kurt felt like his heart had become stuck in his throat. _I'm going to be sick... No... I was imagining it... UGH! THANK GOD we kept most our clothes on._

"Dave." Kurt tried to keep as much friendliness in his voice as was possible. "You will find someone very special one day. But it's not me."

"I know." He mumbled a little awkwardly. "I just... You're the only one who seems to accept me."

"Many people will accept you." Kurt stopped, and groaned a little annoyed, then added, "besides, what do you want from me exactly? Do you want to come out? And parade me around as your boyfriend for the school to see?"

"Hell no!" Korofsky snapped, then caught himself. "But... maybe in private..."

"I'm not interested in private." Kurt argued.

"I can tell." Dave snapped.

Kurt sucked in a deep breath and tried to remain calm. _Thank god this didn't happen when I was actually 16... I would have died._

"I'm with Blaine." I decided. _It would be too soon to be able to explain that Blaine was the love of my life and that I needed him with me if I wanted to survive_. "That's not changing so long as I can help it."

"I know... I get it... I just..." He shook his head once and looked into Kurt's eyes. "He better know to treat you right. Or I'll be waiting."

Kurt offered him a stiff smile and nodded.

"Who'd better treat him right?"

Dave looked up in shock, and Kurt turned around, suddenly filled with relief and joy, as he often did when he saw Blaine. He was standing behind Kurt with his arms crossed over his chest and a dark glare painted on his face.

"Blaine." Kurt greeted with an enthused voice. Blaine glanced at him and offered a warm smile before turning his attention back to Korofsy and stepping forward so that he wasn't directly between the two other boys, but so she could easily put himself between them.

"Hello." Blaine stated, not hiding his dislike of Korofsky. Dave was not surprised by this. They'd only met twice, but their two meetings had been similar to the meetings Kurt had remembered them having originally. Blaine's face made it clear that he wasn't looking for a fight, but he'd fight one if needed.

"Hey, Blaine." Dave said with a small, awkward smile. "I heard about you and your boyfriend. I'm sorry about that."

"Thanks." Blaine muttered. "I heard you were starting a _bully whips_ club."

"Yeah." Korofsky smiled with a twinge of pride that made Kurt a little happy. "I'm hoping maybe the school can be a little safer. I know I did a lot to make people feel unsafe there. I really want to correct that."

"That is very respectable." Blaine acknowledged with a small smile. Kurt wished he could see all of Blaine's face so he could know if the smile was sincere or not. "I'm glad you're turning yourself around."

"It was good seeing you, Dave." Kurt smiled, "But Blaine and I have to be going."

"Oh." Korofsky blinked in surprise. "I didn't... okay... It was nice seeing you both."

Kurt offered him a stiff smile and moved to get into the passenger seat.

"You're driving." Blaine reminded, getting in himself after giving Korofsky one last smile and getting in the car.

Blaine spoke again when they had left the parking area.

"What was that about?"

"What do you mean?" Kurt wondered.

"When I got there he was talking about someone treating you right. Who?"

"You." Kurt answered glancing to see Blaine who made a face in response.

"Do I not treat you right?" Blaine wondered.

"No." Kurt grinned, "It was just a general statement."

"What was he doing here?"

"Meeting Sebastian." Kurt answered without thinking about how Blaine might react to that. Blaine snapped his head towards Kurt and gave him a hard stare as he tried to comprehend what exactly Kurt had just told him.

"Sebastian, _my_ Sebastian? Sebastian Smyte?"

"_Your_ Sebastian?" Kurt asked feeling a little tense suddenly.

"You know what I mean." Blaine grumbled. "Maybe you were right." His voice was a little sour.

"Korofsky saw us." Kurt informed him.

"What?"

"When I said I thought I saw someone, it was him."

"I'm going to kill him." Blaine hissed through clenched teeth.

"No..." Kurt thought. "We are going to learn from our mistakes and be more careful next time."

"_Next time_?!" Blaine snapped, "Kurt, _next time_ he comes anywhere near you when you are in any sort of indecent state, I'm going to kick his head off! You _do_ remember him trying to force himself on you in a change room, right?!"

"It was just a kiss." Kurt argued. Besides, he'd needed to lead Korofsky on a little more than he had originally to get him into that situation again. He wasn't very comfortable with the idea of Korofsky watching them for however long he was, either, but now that it was all clear, it didn't seem so horrible. At least it wasn't someone who would maliciously hurt them.

"It doesn't matter!" Blaine stated. "If he can't keep his hands or his eyes to himself, _especially_ if he can't _control_ himself, then I am going to make him."

"Thank you." Kurt smiled at him feeling genuinely touched. Blaine put a hand over one of his.

"You mean a lot to me, Kurt, and I never want to let anyone hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable." Blaine said and Kurt felt himself shutter as he internally wondered if that meant he wouldn't cheat on him this time. _Why would I bring that up? Did that need to be brought? Why'd I do that?_

"I know." He smiled lovingly at Blaine. "So where am I going?"

"turn left at the next light."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine returned to Kurt's house at nearly midnight but Kurt just wanted to drape himself over Blaine and never leave his side.

"I can't wait until we don't have a curfew." Kurt noted, mostly out of experiencing the pleasures of freedom. His face was pressed lightly against Blaine's and his arms were draped around his neck.

"I'll miss you." Blaine told him with his lips in his hair.

"I will see you tomorrow, won't I?"

"I will miss you until then." He felt Blaine smile and silently relished in being short enough that Blaine could almost dominate him. "Goodnight."

Kurt pulled back and kissed Blaine on the lips. "This is the best day anyone could have given me."

"The first of many, I promise." Blaine smiled. His eyes darted downward suddenly and he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Who is it?" Kurt almost demanded, surprised anyone would call him at that hour.

"My mom," Blaine answered in a slightly saddened voice. "I have to go." He kissed Kurt one last time and walked him into the house before saying one last goodnight and returning to his car.

* * *

Kurt was awake an hour early and ready for school. He couldn't remember ever being so excited to see Blaine, but maybe that was because he was no longer waking up next to him. _Shouldn't I have learned to be away from him after all these months?_

Although he texted Blaine, what felt like a million times, he didn't receive an answer and it was making him nervous. Blaine always answered.

And when Blaine wasn't at school for the first half of the day, he became a little anxious. Rather than suffer through not knowing, he skipped class and drove to Blaine's house just in time to catch Cooper walking out the front door towards his car.

Kurt relaxed a little seeing him, knowing it was likely Cooper that was keeping Blaine away. But Kurt had never seen Cooper so stoic. He jumped out of his car with as much speed as he could wanting to catch Cooper before he got into his own car.

"Cooper." Kurt called, forgetting he wasn't supposed to know who Blaine's brother was yet. Cooper froze in the spot and turned to Kurt in surprise. "Where's Blaine?"

"Who are you?" Cooper asked in response but his voice was more somber and cold than how he usually spoke to Kurt.

"Kurt." Kurt answered walking up to Cooper. "Hummel. Blaine's boyfriend."

Cooper's face softened a little. "You were on a date with him last night."

"Yes."

"Do you want to get in?"

_What? Why_? Kurt gave him a curious stare before asking, "Where are you going?"

"The hospital." Cooper answered but continued before Kurt could speak. "To see Blaine."

Kurt was fairly certain his world stopped spinning for a moment but he didn't feel it as his mind informed him of all the good reason's Blaine was at the hospital.

"Is your grandma sick again?" Kurt asked, not entirely sure if he had the timeline correct but also not caring.

"Blaine was in a car accident last night." Cooper said, not taking time to consider what Kurt said. "He hasn't woken up. Are you getting in or not."

It felt like a no-brainer. Even though he hadn't fully processed Cooper's words, Kurt got silently into the car with Cooper and didn't speak another word until they were at the hospital.

"Where was his car accident?" Kurt demanded. "Is he okay? What happened? Did someone hit him? Did he hit someone else?"

Cooper didn't answer as he led the way to Blaine's room where his parents were waiting. They sat up as Cooper entered, then looked to Kurt who couldn't take his eyes off Blaine. He was laying in the bed sleeping with tubes attached to his mouth and I.V.'s in both hands.

Kurt immediately forgot about Blaine's family in the room and walked towards the bed. He heard talking behind him, including his name. Someone was introducing him, he assumed but didn't care.

He wanted to know what had happened to Blaine. Why he was like this?

"Sebastian is in the waiting room." Kurt heard someone say. He turned suddenly and saw that Blaine's father had left but Cooper and his mother were watching Kurt carefully.

"Kurt, honey." Kurt tried to remember how many times he'd met her in this timeline. A few, but only as Blaine's friend. He wasn't sure how much Blaine had told her after.

"I want to stay with him." Kurt decided not needing to consider it, but a little relieved that he'd decided to leave school when he did.

She hesitated but allowed it. "Sebastian will want to see him." She warned.

Kurt ignored her because he didn't want to think about Sebastian, or Blaine in a coma after a car accident, or the cuts on his skin, or the fact no one had called him as they would have in his time. He took a seat beside Blaine and rested his head looking up at Blaine's sleeping face before starting to hum.


	14. Chapter 14

**Waking Up **

_2009_

Kurt held Blaine's hand and never let his eyes leave Blaine's face as Sebastian entered the room. He didn't want to acknowledge Sebastian or have him anywhere near him, or Blaine. He wanted to be alone with him. He wanted to be back in 2014 where none of this had ever happened and doctors weren't whispering behind the backs of Blaine's parents.

He wanted everyone in the room, the hospital, and the country to know that Blaine was his. And he belonged by his side. Much more than Sebastian Smyte ever could. He wanted these things but the reality seemed to differ.

Sebastian spoke to Kurt, or maybe it was Blaine he spoke to, but Kurt ignored his words and pushed them beyond his own thoughts. He thought of all the memories he'd had with Blaine. Many of those memories were beginning to fade from his mind even as he thought of them.

_This is my punishment._ Kurt thought, _For ever doubting that Blaine and I belonged together... This is what I get... my life with him could be gone forever._

The doctors wouldn't say Blaine was going to be fine and Kurt had experienced enough hospitals to know what that meant for Blaine's odds.

"Do you hear me?!" Sebastian snapped, prodding Kurt in the back of the shoulder so that he'd give him the attention Sebastian so clearly required.

"What?" Kurt asked in a tone that answered Sebastian's question for him.

"This is your fault!" Sebastian snapped bitterly. When Kurt looked up finally, he noticed that Sebastian's regularly styled hair had been pulled into multiple directions and his cheeks were puffed and strained as if he were about to cry. "If you hadn't told him to dump me, he wouldn't have been anywhere near that truck. He'd have been home like he should be now!"

Sebastian turned and swung his arm at Kurt, punching him hard in the jaw. Kurt rocked back a moment but felt too numb to feel anything. He wasn't angry, or shocked, confused, or annoyed. He just wanted to watch Blaine until Blaine woke up.

"You're really something, Kurt." He could tell by the tone in Sebastian's voice, this wasn't a compliment.

"Go away, Sebastian." Kurt groaned in annoyance. "I don't have the energy for this."

"This is your fault." Sebastian snapped, disregarding Kurt's request. Kurt honestly didn't feel like Sebastian was wrong. This was his fault. He hadn't met Blaine when he was supposed to. He'd not made a priority of Blaine until it was too late. Then he'd practically thrown himself at him. He knew Blaine better than anyone. He was willing to dive head first into a love he felt was worthy. He gave all of himself to the people he loved. Kurt hadn't stopped him, either. He hadn't given any sign that they should move slowly. Obviously, Kurt should have known that something would go wrong... that something would happen to Blaine because of Kurt's inability to settle himself. He should have done it all again. He should have given them a chance to make it to the end together. Now they may never.

"You're right." Kurt decided.

"What was that?" Sebastian demanded.

"You're right." Kurt repeated. "This is my fault."_ He shouldn't have had to work so hard to impress me_, Kurt thought, _I didn't need any of this. I knew I loved him. I should have let him know he had me. I should have found him sooner rather than later. Given us more time, not less._

Sebastian stared at him for a paralyzed moment, trying to understand the trick.

Before he could respond, Blaine's mother entered the room.

"The doctors need to see him now. You can wait in the waiting room." She said somberly.

Without saying anything, Sebastian and Kurt walked outside and into the waiting room. Kurt sat but Sebastian continued to pace.

"That's not going to make anything any better." Kurt mumbled.

"What will?!" Sebastian demanded.

Kurt looked up curiously, then. He'd never taken into consideration- -but why would he- -that Sebastian might actually, genuinely care about Blaine. His willingness to cheat on him made it difficult to imagine he would, but he had no obligation to be at the hospital anxiously waiting with the rest of them. In fact, it would probably be rather awkward since Blaine's father gave Sebastian a hard glare every time he passed.

Kurt had texted his dad explaining where he was, and Burt seemed to understand.

"Not that." Kurt answered.

"Here, boys." They turned to Blaine's mother who watched them both carefully She had two salads and two forks in her hands. They accepted them willingly. "There wasn't much else."

"Thank you." Kurt said before starting to eat.

They ate in silence then sat tediously until a nurse came out of Blaine's room. Everyone in the waiting area rose. "He is awake. You may see him but... He hasn't stabled yet. Take this time as an opportunity."

Although she danced cleverly around the meaning in her words, their meaning was devastatingly clear.

Blaine's mom, dad, and brother raced into the room. Kurt and Sebastian both knew better than to interrupt the small family moment. They sat silently once more watching the door. When it seemed like Sebastian was going to disregard the etiquette of the situation by barging into the room to see Blaine, Kurt stood and got in his path.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kurt demanded.

"Something you are too scared to try." Sebastian spat bitterly, but paused when he realized Kurt was in his way. Sebastian still held the food container and the fork in his hands. It wasn't a plastic fork like one generally got at the hospital cafeteria or with take out which made Kurt think that maybe Cooper had been getting things to make the family more comfortable while at home. "What if he dies in there? What if we never get a chance to see him again because they took too long!?"

That hit Kurt harder than he wanted to show Sebastian. His heart, which he'd so carefully sheltered from feeling what they were going through, broke instantly at his words. He felt every crack and tear as if it were in slow motion but managed to not break down. He'd had more practice than Sebastian, and especially the 2009 Kurt whose body he stood in.

"If he dies," Kurt wasn't sure if his voice broke or if it only felt like it did. "Then his family has the right to see him last." He said it, but he wasn't sure how much he meant it. Blaine was his family. They were engaged... supposed to be married. Supposed to spend everyday together for the rest of their lives. They weren't supposed to end like this.

"You don't know what you're saying." Sebastian decided pushing Kurt out of his way. Kurt pushed against him which resulted in the fork cut across Kurt's forearms leaving two small cuts on each arm. Kurt looked down a little shocked but returned his glance quickly to Sebastian who he shoved back with more force than was probably necessary.

"Leave them alone!" He demanded. The door behind him opened then, and he turned to see the family leaving Blaine's room. Cooper had tears in his eyes, so did his mother. His father looked sickly pale and wore an expression Kurt couldn't decipher.

"He wishes to see you." Blaine's father said to Kurt before turning and walking down the hallway alone. His wife called for him but he didn't respond.

Kurt sucked in a hard breath which felt heavy enough to drag him through the floors. He walked as fast as he could, which might have only been one step every few seconds, into Blaine's room.

Blaine's eyes were closed when he finally entered the room and Kurt felt a momentary pang of fear. Then Blaine opened his eyes to look at Kurt who instantly relaxed.

"My mom says you're probably going to sleep here." Blaine said. His voice wasn't as strong as it usually was, but it also wasn't weak.

"I am." Kurt nodded with certainty. He hadn't put an actual thought to it before, but now that it was in the air, he knew it was probably true. Kurt couldn't have left if he wanted to.

Kurt made it to the bed and took a seat in the small chair he'd sat in before. He put a hand on Blaine's and felt his entire body fill with electric currents.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine." Kurt stated, letting his face fall onto one of Blaine's legs and finally letting tears fall from his face. Blaine responded by putting his free hand into Kurt's hair.

"Why?" Blaine sounded almost amused. Kurt didn't need to look up to imagine his facial expression. "I was the one not looking at the road."

"None of this should have happened like this. We shouldn't be here. We shouldn't-"

"Kurt. you can't control what's going to happen. And you can't predict the future."

"I could." Kurt stated and Blaine replied with a pained laugh. Kurt looked up then with bloodshot, tear filled eyes. "I could, Blaine."

"Could you?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Yes." Kurt nodded, "It's my fault we're here. That this happened to you. I shouldn't have let anything change."

Blaine looked curious now, "What changed?"

Kurt shook his head then and asked, "What did the doctors say?"

Blaine's face became a little somber but he answered with very little hesitation. "It's a good thing I woke up. Apparently I had a couple seizures last night and they were ready to pull the plug." Kurt felt as if his heart had shattered once more. Blaine attempted to sit up to comfort him but couldn't force much to move other than his arms. "But I'm awake now, so they don't have to worry about that anymore."

He sounded optimistic but Kurt couldn't be. "What else did they say?" His parents and brother hand't been crying because everything was looking good.

Blaine hesitated then for a moment, worried he would upset Kurt more but Kurt gave him a hard glare that told Blaine that keeping him out wouldn't make the situation any better. "I have a busted lung. I don't need an iron lung or anything, and it's not the doctors main concern. A few other things are damaged but they _should_ heal." Kurt forced his face to remain neutral "I'm hemorrhaging. And they said they are going to put me back to sleep to better control my condition... I said I wanted to see you first."

"Where is the hemorrhage?" Kurt asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"_Blaine_." Kurt begged through an almost locked jaw.

"Tell me about your fortune telling abilities." Blaine insisted with a small smile.

Kurt hesitated but shook his head. "You'll think I'm crazy."

"Better crazy than boring. Tell me."

"I'm not Kurt." Kurt mumbled. Blaine raised an eyebrow at him then. "Well, I am, but not this one." Blaine watched him quietly but didn't interject. Kurt took a deep breath and added, "We're... engaged." He said the word slowly as if giving himself time to change it if Blaine showed the wrong response.

"Sure." Blaine shrugged. "I'd rather marry before I died anyways. We might have to go to Canada to do it legally, though... I think they have a better medical plan anyways."

Kurt smiled for a brief moment and it lifted Blaine's spirit a lot. Then Kurt turned more serious again.

"We aren't engaged yet. In the future. We're engaged." Kurt explained. "I'm from 2014. I don't know how I got here. I don't know if this is some kind of dream, but it feels too real and has gone on too long in too much detail. I am not sure it is."

"So in 2014, we're engaged." Blaine nodded a little looking lost in thought. Then he shrugged again and smiled, "So I survive this."

"This never happened, Blaine!" Kurt snapped. "None of this happened! You've never been in a fender-bender, let alone a hospital bed!"

"How can you say you're from the future if you say the present never happened?" Blaine didn't seem confused by his own words and Kurt was too lost in his own head to care exactly what was said.

"I screwed this all up. When I woke up in my old body, I screwed everything up." Kurt explained and continued before Blaine could contradict, "We should have met on the Dalton staircase, months before we ever did. Sebastian shouldn't be here until next year, and _you_ said nothing was every going on between the two of you but now I _really_ want to yell at you for that one." Blaine made a slightly surprised face, blinked a few times, but silently allowed Kurt to continue. "But, in your defense, given the chance you did choose me even when you didn't have to and that means a lot to me. We certainly didn't have sex so fast. You can thank my experience level and my love for you for that one, the first time I made you wait until senior year." Blaine blinked again in surprise before allowing a small growing smile to appear on his face. "By the way, I knew Cooper was your brother when you, me, and Sebastian were talking about it. Honestly, before I knew I would have been in the exact boat Sebastian was. But I met him when he picked you up from McKinley, not when he brought me here to see you." Kurt ignored the look on Blaine's face. He couldn't tell if it was love, appreciation, or sadness on his face and he didn't want to know. "When I got here, I didn't take any of this seriously, Blaine. I wasn't even completely sure it was real. I didn't- -I don't know how I got here. I was so lost and scared and I know now that meant I should have just found you sooner, not later. I am so sorry, Blaine, because none of this should have happened like this. Everything I did should have been to make us better and stronger, not just ignore everything we had in the beginning."

Blaine was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "Did you propose to me or did I propose to you?"

Kurt smiled a little, feeling a small pull of relief but not allowing himself to get too excited just yet, "You proposed to me."

"How'd I do that?"

"You got all of the glee clubs in the area to meet at Dalton and preform for me, and you asked me in the staircase."

"Did you like it?"

"Honestly..." Kurt hesitated. "I... loved it... but after... I was a little worried that you getting so many people involved was your way of forcing me to say yes."

"Would you not have?" Blaine asked curiously.

"I... don't know."

Blaine took the deepest breath he could manage and asked, "Did you not want to marry me?"

"Blaine..." Kurt hesitated and felt his eyes start to water again. He understood why he could talk to this Blaine more honestly than his own. This one didn't have the emotional attachment to be truly hurt by anything Kurt could say. "I have never wanted anything more than how much I want to spend my entire life as your husband. I am so sorry if I ever made you feel like that was not the case. I'm sorry for every doubting you, and for ever letting you feel like you were losing me. I'm so sorry this happened, Blaine."

Blaine watched him for a moment, curiously. Then he said, "Did I like cronuts in the future?"

Kurt laughed once, "Yes, you did."

"What school do I get into?"

"You follow me to NYADA."

"What's that?"

"A good performing arts school in New York."

"We live in _New York_?!" His eyes brightened in excitement. Kurt smiled in response.

"Yes."

"Alone?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes." Blaine repeated curiously.

"More recently, you've been letting your best friend _Sam_ stay with us and really... It's like you never want us to have alone time." Blaine raised an eyebrow curiously so Kurt clarified, "Every time we get close, he just walks in and doesn't realize maybe he is out of place."

"But you changed the timeline." Blaine clarified.

"I tried to put it back. Clearly that didn't work." Kurt motioned to Blaine laying in the bed.

"Sebastian wasn't my first boyfriend?" Blaine asked. "Who was?"

"I was your only boyfriend." Kurt answered and Blaine smiled. "And our courting was much more subtle. Honestly, I really didn't think you liked me at all in that way."

"I liked you." Blaine said with a certainty Kurt found flattering. "I can't imagine why I wouldn't."

"You were interested in another guy. Jeremiah."

"Not Sebastian."

"You didn't meet Sebastian until after you came to McKinley."

"I go to McKinley." That seemed to be the part of Kurt's story that Blaine believed the least.

"I asked you to, and you did." Kurt clarified.

"So I never dated Sebastian." Blaine thought about that for a while, during which time Kurt watched him carefully.

"He nearly blinded you, once." Kurt added suddenly. Blaine turned his attention back and looked curiously skeptical. "During a Micheal Jackson dance-off. He threw a rock salt slushy in your face."

"Why would he do that?"

"He was aiming at me. He didn't think you and I should be dating, but you got in the way so it hit you instead."

Blaine smirked a little, "I don't think I would have been as calm as you were, then. If I'd gone back in time and seen the two of you together."

"It's my fault you were with him. I shouldn't have changed anything." Kurt explained.

"Were you... why did you wait?" Blaine wondered. "Why did you doubt me?"

"You're the only one I've ever been with." Kurt explained. "I've never explored other options... Or none that... Maybe it didn't feel real because it wasn't with you. And you always seemed so sure of us, but you'd also been with more than just me. I hadn't. I was... scared that I might not know enough to really be sure."

"I thought you said you were my first boyfriend."

"I was."

"Then who else would I have been with?"

"You cheated on me." Kurt said with a surprising amount of ease. He watched the words compute in Blaine's mind and his eyes widen as a result. "When I first got into NYADA and moved to New York. You were still at McKinley."

"I wouldn't do that." Blaine said but his voice shook. "I'd never-"

"I thought so too." Kurt mumbled, looking away from Blaine. "But you did. And I think maybe I wasn't as over it as I thought I was."

"I'm sorry, Kurt." Blaine said. "So sorry. I swear I wouldn't..."

Kurt shook his head and looked back at Blaine.

"Who was it?" Blaine's voice shook as he asked.

"Some guy you met on Facebook."

"No."

"Yes."

"How... And you forgave me?" Blaine asked in disbelief, his mind busy trying to understand how that could have happened.

"I have now." Kurt decided. "After... I don't care what mistakes you've made... or will make. I just want you. Sometimes your judgment is wrong. Clearly mine is too. But I can't live without you and I don't want to."

Blaine smiled then and let out a small laugh. "That sounds funny."

"Why does that sound funny?" Kurt wondered.

"You're my best friend." Blaine smiled. "But we've only been together like that for... a short while... at least for me."

"Do you believe me?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"I don't want to believe that I cheated on you." Blaine started.

"It wasn't your fault." Kurt decided before Blaine could continue.

"How _wasn't_ it my fault?" Blaine demanded.

"I should have made you more of a priority. I should have been a better boyfriend."

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I shouldn't have done that. I don't think long distance relationships can't work. I shouldn't have done anything that would hurt you, or us."

"I love you." Kurt stated without thinking.

Blaine smiled at him and after a few moments he said, "I love you."

"Do you?" Kurt asked curiously.

Blaine nodded, "And clearly I am meant to... or you are the most heartless manipulator I could know. If I've fallen for you twice, and you've chosen me twice... Why didn't you take this as a chance to explore the other options you felt you needed to?"

"I only want you, Blaine." Kurt decided. "And if there is no way for me to get home, or to fix things, and I am meant to relive these next few years, having you by my side is the one thing I refuse to change."

Blaine smiled, "I don't mind that you changed some things."

"You're in a hospital bed, hemorrhaging." Kurt snapped.

Blaine laughed and shook his head as much as his injuries would let him. "I don't mind. I'm sure the future version of me wouldn't either. You took the time you felt you needed in a place where I wouldn't feel bad about it. You still chose me. You changed some things, sure, but that's not what matter. I was still your first, and I've experienced other things. I promise I won't cheat on you this time. I will do everything in my power to stop whatever possessed me to do it the first time. I'll tell you every time I'm so much as tempted to consider it... wait... does this mean I will never get to meet sixteen year old Kurt?"

"I tired to be as much like him as I could."

"What's different?" Blaine wondered curiously.

"You had to force me to learn about sex." Blaine seemed amused by this. "I refused. We weren't even dating. You just _insisted_ I be prepared."

"_Oh_, I was _prepping_ you." Blaine grinned with excitement.

"What?"

"It's how predators prepare younger people so they can have the kind of relationship they want without having to argue about it when the younger person is ready. I think that's how it works."

"I'm older than you."

"But not wiser." Blaine mused.

Kurt laughed and kissed his hand.

"No, you are much, much wiser... most of the time."

"Most?"

"You can be a real baby someday's." Kurt mused.

They both laughed but smiled and relaxed.

They spoke for a short time longer before the doctors returned. Blaine occasionally thought of questions which Kurt willingly answered. When the doctors came they advised them all to make these moments count with Blaine. The operations would be dangerous and after putting Blaine into a medically induced coma, there could be complications.

Kurt was allowed by his and Blaine's parents to stay at the hospital that night and hold Blaine's hand while he slept. He could hardly believe any of this was real. He couldn't believe he'd told Blaine and Blaine had believed him. He watched him sleep, ignoring the drowsy feelings of his stinging eyes. "I love you Blaine. And I won't leave until you wake up."

* * *

_2014_

He wasn't sure exactly how he'd gotten into bed. Maybe someone had moved him. It wouldn't surprise him if they had. He was probably in their way. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on his folded arms resting over Blaine's legs.

Now he was in a warm, comfortable bed feeling like the sun was somehow shining on him. Maybe it was, through the windows in the corner. He didn't open his eyes as he rolled only to hit a hard body laying next to him. He froze, almost afraid to open his eyes, especially as the body wrapped their arms around him.

He opened his eyes because he knew he needed to and froze at the sight of Blaine. Blaine hand tucked his head into Kurt but when Kurt rolled away a little, he could see Blaine clearly. The cuts and the bruises were all healed.

Then he glanced around the room and felt a shutter of comfort as he felt instantly at home in his New York apartment. _This must be a dream._

But it felt as real as everything else.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"Mm... Kurt..." Blaine groaned, rolling closer towards Kurt.

"_Blaine_." Blaine opened his eyes and propped himself up instantly at the sound in Kurt's voice. It was clear from his eyes that Blaine hadn't fully woken but he was alert enough to focus his limited attention on Kurt who sounded as if he'd just been wondering in the rain alone and hungry for the past three days.

"What's wrong?" Blaine demanded, glancing around suddenly as if perhaps the problem was somewhere in the room. Had they been robbed? Had Sam brought in a pack of raccoons thinking they were stray kittens again? Nothing struck him as obviously concerning so he glanced back at Kurt who watched him with wide, hesitant eyes. "What...?"

"Blaine..." Kurt sat up and took Blaine's face in his hands. He felt real. He then leaned forward and kissed Blaine who, although willing, was completely surprised. Kurt didn't open his eyes as he slowly pulled away from the familiar kiss of the love of his life. He didn't want to risk losing him again. He kept their faces close enough that they could feel each others breath. "Please... Please tell me this is real."

"Of course this is real... Kurt?"

Kurt slowly allowed his eyes to open but turned his head towards the wall behind their bed. If he was going to lose this again, he was going to give himself a moment to adjust.

"Am I crazy?" Kurt began instantly examining his body. On his arms were the cuts caused by Sebastian, now a little more healed. "Blaine... Please... Have I gone completely mad?"

"Kurt-baby-what's wrong?" Blaine asked, placing Kurt's cheek in his hand to steady his slowly shaking body.

"I-I-I" Kurt looked around desperately for a clue. His arms were something but what if they weren't enough. "When did I get these cuts?"

"My God, what happened?" Blaine concerned, taking him lightly by the wrists. "What did you do?!"

"I didn't have these last night?" Kurt demanded.

"No, not that I noticed... Kurt..."

Kurt fell back in the bed then and sighed with some relief. No, it wasn't a dream, he knew. It was too real. But somehow he seemed to be back, and he was happy that was the case.

"What day is it?" Kurt breathed. "The actual date?"

"I-um... September... 27th? 28th? Depends what time it is... 4:14am, Kurt, _really_?" Blaine groaned and dropped back into the bed, hugging his pillow hard.

"4:14." Kurt repeated, sitting up.

"Nope." Blaine groaned into the bed as he felt Kurt move. "Not again. Not unless it's an emergency."

"Blaine." Kurt breathed heavily. "You died last night."

"I damn well wish." He grumbled into the pillows and blankets, curling himself tighter as if it would help him sleep.

"At 4:13am." Kurt added breathlessly.

"It was a dream." Blaine moaned into the pillow.

"It wasn't... Blaine... how is this happening?" Blaine didn't move or answer. Kurt rolled and started to shake him until he sat up and lightly pushed Kurt away from him. He wore a dark glare that seemed to cut through the darkness. "How did we meet?"

"How about at breakfast?" Blaine requested wanting to go back to sleep.

"_Please_, how did we meet?!"

"I-uh... at Dalton academy."

"Where at Dalton?"

"What?"

"Where? The bathroom, a classroom, the office...?"

"The stairs." Blaine groaned. "Can't this wait?"

"Was I your first boyfriend?"

"Yes." Blaine moaned. "But you won't be my last if you don't let me sleep."

"When was our first time?"

"After Westside, in like... 2012, can we please..."

"Blaine, I time traveled back to 2009 and screwed everything up and it was terrible but somehow nothing seemed to change."

"It was a dream."

"It wasn't! I was there for months!"

"Then you should know how we met." Blaine grumbled.

"But I didn't meet you like I was supposed to." Kurt stated.

"Alright." Blaine groaned, sitting up straighter and turning on the bedside lamp. "You time traveled. How?"

"I don't know how."

"How'd you get back?"

"I don't know." Kurt blinked. "You died and I returned."

"I died."

"Yes." Kurt answered, letting tears fall as his fingers traced the skin of Blaine's face. Blaine calmed for a moment and leaned into Kurt's touch.

"How?"

"After a car accident."

"I've never been in a car accident."

"You were this time."

"How did the dream start?"

"It wasn't a dream." Kurt snapped. "You can't remember dreams. I can remember every second of this."

"Maybe..."

"Blaine, I saw you _die_." Kurt's voice cracked. "I felt every second of it. I dreaded living to see another day. I wasn't able to move from your side. I... couldn't have dreamed that horror so clearly."

"Okay." Blaine decided only because he couldn't argue with the torment worn on Kurt's face, or the agony in his voice. "You went back in time. You... Why was I in a car accident."

Kurt told Blaine everything then. Everything exactly as he remembered it and in as much detail as he could recall. It was nearly 7am when he finally finished and Blaine gaped at him wide eyed.

"You went through three surgeries in four days. The last one... it was supposed to be the safest... nothing major needed to happen. They'd fixed the hemorrhage. Your bones were all set in place, but... your heart stopped anyways. And there was nothing I could do."

"And then you woke up here." Blaine clarified.

"I... have... I couldn't breathe, Blaine. When you were gone... when everything I ever wanted was taken from me because I was so... I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Kurt fell forward a little but Blaine caught him and pulled him into a tight hug, cradling his body so that he could cry comfortably.

"Why did you let me date _Sebastian_?" Blaine asked suddenly and Kurt choked out a laugh but it didn't stop the tears.

"I didn't know how to stop you." Kurt answered in an almost inaudible way. "I didn't want to scare you away."

"You said that already." Blaine reminded. "But if it were me... I'd... How could you stomach seeing that?"

Kurt held him tighter in response. "I'd have killed him. If I saw you with someone else... if I went back as saw you dating _Chandler_...?" Blaine clenched his teeth and shook his head but let his eyes soften after a few moments. "But thank you for buying me the cronuts. Honestly, I thought you hated that I loved them so much."

"I hate nothing you do."

"That's only because you thought I died." Blaine mused with a small smirk.

"I love you so much, Blaine. So much more than I could ever explain. I'm... so, so, so sorry I ever thought I could be without you."

"I want to go back knowing what I know now." Blaine mused, ignoring Kurt's apology. "You got me into bed pretty quick... I bet I could have gotten you in... fifteen minutes."

"_Oh_!" Kurt gasped then laughed looking up and kissing Blaine hard on the lips. "I was never that easy."

"You loved me from the moment you saw me!" Blaine argued. "And I know everything about you, it wouldn't be _that_ hard."

"I thought you were attractive, I thought the same about Sam." Kurt reminded. "I think you're forgetting how frigid I was."

"You weren't..." But Blaine stopped to think for a moment. "I think I could have done it."

"Thank you." Kurt said suddenly.

"What for?" Blaine wondered.

"You're not mad."

"Why would I be mad?"

"I waited so long before realizing I needed you." Kurt answered.

"But you realized it." Blaine noted. "And everything worked out anyways."

"Do you really believe me?"

"Sam has a million theories on time travel." Blaine stated. "I will talk to him and let you know."

"Will you still love me when you realize it wasn't a dream?"

"Nothing you could do would stop me from loving you." Blaine decided, kissing Kurt and pushing him back onto the bed, sitting lightly on top of him. "Besides, you came back to me."

"I always will." Kurt vowed and pulled Blaine closer to him once more.

**The End**

* * *

**Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Again, I think I will be adding an alternate ending (Or alternate second half) because I thought it would be interesting to have the story pan out a different way also. It won't be attached to this story, I will recreate this one in another version named _"Boy in my bed"_ with a similar beginning but changing the rest. This will be completely upon demand, so please let me know who is interested. Thank you very much again!**


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